He got married and is expecting a baby after 8 months

[SherrySher]

3 hours ago, NagChampa_ said:

Ugh, thank you so much. As I told the other commenter.. he reached out today. He said I was the one who chose to cut ties with him and leave him. He reconnected with his EX (turns out) one month later. Oh, and he also said he is getting older and needed to make a family and not wait around for me to decide what I want. 

Sounds like he settled, but I wish him well I guess.... 🙁

You deserve better.

Block him, allow yourself to move on. Don't let him still contact you. All it will do is keep you from healing and finding the right man for you.

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, NagChampa_ said:

 He reached out to me today. . He also told me this woman is his ex.

Unfortunately it sounds like she was never an ex. You need to delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps as well as the games. Stop communicating with him and invest your time in improving your local off screen life.

[Rose Mosse]

I agree with the other comments about blocking him. I think you've been hanging onto this for way too long. How could you sustain that kind of interest in someone who hasn't contacted you in eight months or shown any interest? You may be leaning towards building fantasies or creating illusions that aren't quite there. 

I think it's odd that he contacted you at all to describe his situation as it's not necessarily any of your business, respectfully. Perhaps you had messaged him first earlier to ask? Let this guy go. Meet locals in person and spend more time in person too. 

[Batya33]

I wouldn’t trouble yourself with speculating whether he settled.  Who knows. It’s irrelevant. Odd he reached out. Glad you are moving on. 

[NagChampa_]

On 5/23/2022 at 10:32 PM, SherrySher said:

You deserve better.

Block him, allow yourself to move on. Don't let him still contact you. All it will do is keep you from healing and finding the right man for you.

 

On 5/24/2022 at 12:46 PM, Rose Mosse said:

I agree with the other comments about blocking him. I think you've been hanging onto this for way too long. How could you sustain that kind of interest in someone who hasn't contacted you in eight months or shown any interest? You may be leaning towards building fantasies or creating illusions that aren't quite there. 

I think it's odd that he contacted you at all to describe his situation as it's not necessarily any of your business, respectfully. Perhaps you had messaged him first earlier to ask? Let this guy go. Meet locals in person and spend more time in person too. 

As mentioned in my post, when I saw the wedding on IG. I messaged him and thought it was really low of him to not even let me know he was seeing someone. Especially since he and I had been speaking everyday for 3 years. I wasn't creating fantasies, we had a genuine relationship and I never got that in person with the guys here. That's when he messaged me and told me, I cut ties with him and that was never what he wanted.

It is what it is, he's blocked and I'm moving on. Thank you for replying. 

[NagChampa_]

6 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I wouldn’t trouble yourself with speculating whether he settled.  Who knows. It’s irrelevant. Odd he reached out. Glad you are moving on. 

Thank you. You're right, onto better things. 

[MissCanuck]

4 minutes ago, NagChampa_ said:

I messaged him and thought it was really low of him to not even let me know he was seeing someone.

But if I understand this situation correctly, you two hadn't spoken in months - correct?

 

[NagChampa_]

22 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

But if I understand this situation correctly, you two hadn't spoken in months - correct?

 

Yes, correct. We'd msg each other but then delete the msg and get notified on it. Like I said, it's in the past. 

Edit to add: My hope was we would re-kindle our relationship. I'd go to his location and not so scared to open my heart.

[catfeeder]

On 5/20/2022 at 4:34 PM, NagChampa_ said:

I will say... when we did meet there was no chemistry at all. I tried convincing myself but ...

This ^^^ is you North Star. It's your main fact to contemplate and click your heels together to send yourself forward.

You fell in love with your own fantasy 'about' someone, even while you didn't really know him at all.

I don't mean this dismissively. Our fantasies can be one of the most difficult things from which to decathect--OR, they can be the simplest.

It's your decision.

My heart goes out to you. This is your opportunity to choose which lens you'll want to use to make this time easier or harder on yourself.

One takeaway that I'd embrace is an avoidance of seducing myself with fantasy connections. I'd use meeting apps to set up quick coffee meets with local people to learn whether we share chemistry and simpatico--or not. The nots would be fast 'nexts,' as I move forward to keep screening my way to a great match.

You deserve to find REAL love, so step out of your own way, and you will thank yourself.

Head high.

[MissCanuck]

9 hours ago, NagChampa_ said:

Yes, correct. We'd msg each other but then delete the msg and get notified on it. Like I said, it's in the past. 

Ok, then as such, he didn't actually owe you any update about his private life anymore.

I can see why you were hurt to hear the news, but it wasn't low of him not to tell you that he had moved on. You two were over. 

[NagChampa_]

17 hours ago, catfeeder said:

This ^^^ is you North Star. It's your main fact to contemplate and click your heels together to send yourself forward.

You fell in love with your own fantasy 'about' someone, even while you didn't really know him at all.

I don't mean this dismissively. Our fantasies can be one of the most difficult things from which to decathect--OR, they can be the simplest.

It's your decision.

My heart goes out to you. This is your opportunity to choose which lens you'll want to use to make this time easier or harder on yourself.

One takeaway that I'd embrace is an avoidance of seducing myself with fantasy connections. I'd use meeting apps to set up quick coffee meets with local people to learn whether we share chemistry and simpatico--or not. The nots would be fast 'nexts,' as I move forward to keep screening my way to a great match.

You deserve to find REAL love, so step out of your own way, and you will thank yourself.

Head high.

Thank you so much <33