I need your help!She is driving me crazy .If u want to read some type of love story read mine,and try to help me with her!!

[Sisi77]

Hello to the ones who will try to help me out with this one girl.Listen guys i'm really invested in this chick at the moment.Our story is so long but im gonna keep it short as possible.So we knew each other since we are 13years old and from the beginning  we had some shared attraction from the both sides.Btw i was very shy back then and didnt do anything with her for 6years,but meanwhile i have girls around me have sex,dating one of her home girls,i knew she all the time likes me but she likes smth more than me,my attention i think and there is the problem,when i ignore her she become crazy and is desperate for my attention but when I give it to her then she starts to ignore me,and the answers are becoming less and more boring.Im trying to make her mine but dont know how.She is a huge attention seeker because of her father lost.Alsoo her ex boyfriend is very manipulative and this can be useful in some ways i think.Please help me out because im seriously obsessed over her!

 

THANK YOU!!!!

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Sisi77 said:

 meanwhile i have girls around me have sex,dating one of her home girls,i knew she all the time likes me 

Are you dating her? How old is she?

[Sisi77]

Yeah, and we are 19y

[Rose Mosse]

Why are you ignoring her? This makes no sense. Take her out and treat her well. Open doors for her and ask her what she likes to do. Plan your date ideas together. If she’s shady dump her. 

You be the man you need to be and don’t settle for less either in a woman.

[Sisi77]

Look the problem is that when i chase her that boost her ego too much and she start ignoring me,and answering me slower.She loves my attention and when im not giving her the attention she needs,she is treating me well and making plans to hang out and etc.Sometimes when im totally ignoring her she begin to rage and shouting and insulting me.I dont know how to make the balance thats the problem i dont want to ignore her but at this moment that seems to be the only way to give me the attention to me.

1 hour ago, Rose Mosse said:

Why are you ignoring her? This makes no sense. Take her out and treat her well. Open doors for her and ask her what she likes to do. Plan your date ideas together. If she’s shady dump her. 

You be the man you need to be and don’t settle for less either in 

[limichelle]

You both are playing too many games for this to work. She’s playing the hard to get game and you’re playing the unavailable game. How do you think this is a healthy dynamic? I say one of you needs to stop the games and approach this maturely. 

[Rose Mosse]

43 minutes ago, Sisi77 said:

Look the problem is that when i chase her that boost her ego too much and she start ignoring me,and answering me slower.She loves my attention and when im not giving her the attention she needs,she is treating me well and making plans to hang out and etc.Sometimes when im totally ignoring her she begin to rage and shouting and insulting me.I dont know how to make the balance thats the problem i dont want to ignore her but at this moment that seems to be the only way to give me the attention to me.

Rage, shouting and insulting are not an acceptable means of communication. Stop responding to that and insist that your relationships don’t have this kind of behaviour. If you are determined to be with her tell her you will not accept that treatment and stop letting her belittle you and insult you. 

She sounds like she has issues you cannot fix. Don’t play into this dynamic anymore. Ask yourself if she’s the kind of woman you’d like to date and don’t just be blinded by sex. I’m talking about real dating where you share your life with someone and can trust one another. 

[Sisi77]

29 minutes ago, limichelle said:

You both are playing too many games for this to work. She’s playing the hard to get game and you’re playing the unavailable game. How do you think this is a healthy dynamic? I say one of you needs to stop the games and approach this maturely. 

The things with this games aren't healthy yeah fashoo,but i dont know how to make it simpler 

[Sisi77]

1 minute ago, Rose Mosse said:

Rage, shouting and insulting are not an acceptable means of communication. Stop responding to that and insist that your relationships don’t have this kind of behaviour. If you are determined to be with her tell her you will not accept that treatment and stop letting her belittle you and insult you. 

She sounds like she has issues you cannot fix. Don’t play into this dynamic anymore. Ask yourself if she’s the kind of woman you’d like to date and don’t just be blinded by sex. I’m talking about real dating where you share your life with someone and can trust one another. 

I think I really like the sex with her and the intimacy between us,but on the other hand isn't healthy for us to play a lot of this mind games i think.She is not that type of person which will shout me and beat me haha i think u understand it in this way noo,she is very kind in 99% of the time,but she wants all the attention and i dont know how to give it to her,and the situation to be win win,i want attention she wants attention but when someone gives to the other,most of the time the situation seems like chasing 

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Sisi77 said:

fashoo

 Gesundheit. Go on dates. Stop the games.

Edited January 24 by Wiseman2

[Sisi77]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Go on dates. Stop the games.

Dont u see a way which i could continue with her

[SooSad33]

1 hour ago, Sisi77 said:

Look the problem is that when i chase her that boost her ego too much and she start ignoring me,and answering me slower.She loves my attention and when im not giving her the attention she needs,she is treating me well and making plans to hang out and etc.Sometimes when im totally ignoring her she begin to rage and shouting and insulting me.

Okay, then WHY in your right mind would you even give this a second look?  She's messed up.

 

15 hours ago, Sisi77 said:

,when i ignore her she become crazy and is desperate for my attention but when I give it to her then she starts to ignore me,

CRAZY- a red flag... and you like this crap.. why? 😕 

 

15 hours ago, Sisi77 said:

She is a huge attention seeker because of her father lost.Alsoo her ex boyfriend is very manipulative and this can be useful in some ways i think.Please help me out because im seriously obsessed over her!

She's got an Ex BF too? 

Nope, get away from all of this.. it'll stress you out and in a bad way!  Be involved with someone who doesn't have an Ex BF who's as crazy as they are!  And who's got it together in a good, sane way!

 Sounds like you enjoy the crazy.. just don't.

Time for y'all to grow up some.

[Sisi77]

30 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

Okay, then WHY in your right mind would you even give this a second look?  She's messed up.

 

CRAZY- a red flag... and you like this crap.. why? 😕 

 

She's got an Ex BF too? 

Nope, get away from all of this.. it'll stress you out and in a bad way!  Be involved with someone who doesn't have an Ex BF who's as crazy as they are!  And who's got it together in a good, sane way!

 Sounds like you enjoy the crazy.. just don't.

Time for y'all to grow up some.

U know sometimes i think that i dont know just how to give her attention,and this gives me anxiety,i know she wants me and she shows empathy towards me,but i dont know how to make attention seeker happy ,i know with attention but how to give her that attention?

[SooSad33]

8 minutes ago, Sisi77 said:

U know sometimes i think that i dont know just how to give her attention,and this gives me anxiety,i know she wants me and she shows empathy towards me,but i dont know how to make attention seeker happy ,i know with attention but how to give her that attention?

You don't!  This is not a decent person.  

You walk away from someone so full of drama.

Someone who is decent, kind, giving & stable is what you want in your life.  Not someone who makes YOU anxious like this.

 

[Jibralta]

23 hours ago, Sisi77 said:

U know sometimes i think that i dont know just how to give her attention,and this gives me anxiety,i know she wants me and she shows empathy towards me,but i dont know how to make attention seeker happy ,i know with attention but how to give her that attention?

It sounds like you want to keep her attention fixed on you--showing you that she wants you and feels empathy for you--so that you don't have anxiety. But she is distracted by other people and ignores you instead of paying attention to you at all times. I think you guys have the same problem. 

[junebug123]

On 1/24/2022 at 12:45 PM, Sisi77 said:

U know sometimes i think that i dont know just how to give her attention,and this gives me anxiety,i know she wants me and she shows empathy towards me,but i dont know how to make attention seeker happy ,i know with attention but how to give her that attention?

You are already at a loss here because you are approaching the situation from a scarcity mindset. The best relationships are the ones where neither side has to compromise too much of their behavior to accommodate the other.

The type of relationship your talking about is only going to breed resentment. I think there are certain types of men out there, that can handle a person like this. Obviously, you don’t seem like you are either motivated enough or willing to understand how to handle someone who has such low self esteem.

Shes in a place in her life where she’s not ready for a real relationship. Her yearning for attention screams insecurity and validation seeking. It will never be enough with someone who is in that headspace.

The best thing for someone like this is to build them up so that they have enough in their life to feel fulfilled with themselves. This is called internal validation. 

Someone like this would probably just not be ready or willing to take the type of advice necessary to deal with these sorts of issues. She seems young and immature, I would walk away from this one.

Edited January 25 by junebug123