Friend lied about crush

[Robbie90]

Hi everybody, first of all thanks for reading. 

A few months ago I finally told my crush I liked her, we work together. She politely turned me down saying she had just got out of a relationship, and I told her no problem. I understand.

Next she starts commenting about how hot this guy is, other guy is, etc. I already had suspicions she was with my best friend, he denied it several times ( I asked him first if I should tell her I liked her, his response was weird) And he knew I liked her, for quite some time. 

After a while it became pretty obvious, and I don't mind. But they both work at my job and keep pretending they're not together, laughing at me behind my back ( I've caught them a few times)

Now they've gone on a skying trip together with her friends, and he's pretending to not be there when I have recognized his car in the photos. 

Both of them have also blocked their photos from me on Instagram. She told me she had deleted her account, and she hasn't of course. 

I thought they were both my friends, we've known each other for years. And never expected them to do this. Especially her, that's why I finally got the courage to ask her out ( I was nervous and messed it up as well)

To be honest I don't mind them being together, it's the mockery and lies that bother me. And they wonder why I become distant, but what else am I supposed to do? 

[Lambert]

I am sorry this happened.  Ugh.  I have been in a similar situation, although before social media was even a thing.

A couple things I would try to keep in mind-- 

While this is hurtful to you, they are not laughing behind your back.  They probably think they are doing the kinder thing-- not pushing it in your face.

I would continue to be distant.  Why bother with people that are lying to your face?  Let them do what they are going to do.  You focus on you!

Why do you think they wonder about you're being distant?  

Have they said something to you?  Asked you?  If they have, then you should just say you don't appreciate being lied to and that has caused you to pull back.  And let them respond.  

[SooSad33]

How about tell your friend to grow up? And that you're okay with it. See if things change.

And just let work be the workplace.  No games, nothing. You do your job & leave. 

And yes, I agree with above re: it being unecessary to lie & give you such a hard time - hence your pulling away.

 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Robbie90 said:

A few months ago I finally told my crush I liked her, we work together. She politely turned me down

they both work at my job and keep pretending they're not together, laughing at me behind my back (

Both of them have also blocked their photos from me on Instagram. 

I thought they were both my friends

Sorry this happened. However neither you nor your friend own her.

She can date whoever she wants. So can you and your friend. Possessiveness  for a non-relationship makes no sense.

She told you where she stood a long time ago.

Perhaps they are truing to be discreet at work, as they should be.

 As far as social media, they know you are sore about this and perhaps for their own reasons, reset their privacy settings.

 Basically they both know you are upset about it so trying not to rub it in your  face. They already know how touchy you are about all this so don't want to say much to you.

Your cue to start dating others was when she was frank about not having the same feeling. "Confessing" crushes to coworker is a bad idea.

[junebug123]

Oftentimes we think more of what others think about us, then they actually do. When you learn to stop worrying about what people are thinking of you and face your fears. You feel liberated in being able to move and act in accordance with your purpose.

Dancing around the intentions of others only causes them to take up space in your thoughts and behaviors. Please don’t let your crush and friend control your behavior. When you start focusing on your own goals and dreams, you will realize how insignificant this entire affair was.

[MissCanuck]

4 hours ago, Robbie90 said:

But they both work at my job and keep pretending they're not together, laughing at me behind my back ( I've caught them a few times)

What are they saying or doing, exactly? 

[Andrina]

Sometimes it's best not to label someone as your "best" friend as friendships often evolve, either for the better or worse, or sometimes the dynamics just change because of moving, marriage, and other life changes.

That female co-worker doesn't ethically owe you anything. But your supposed best friend does. He should have had the good ethics and decency to say something to you like, "I know you had a crush on X. But since it's not working out between you two, I just wanted you to know she and I have started dating."

Since your interactions with them are more negative than positive now, it's time to spend more time with friends who don't stress you out. Their behavior has surprised you. I guess you didn't know them as well as you thought. Sometimes it takes serious incidences like this to showcase who a person really is. Now you know.

[catfeeder]

My quick and easy fix would be to mind my own business. Nobody owes me reporting on their private love lives. These are colleagues, and they each own the right to keep their own personal involvements to themselves.

Just because someone asks me a question, that does not obligate me to answer it.

I'd flip that around and accept that just because I ask someone a question, that does not obligate them to answer to me.

I'd be friendly at work and whenever our paths cross, but I'd keep my eyes on my own paper.

Head high, and focus on finding someone else to date.

[Jibralta]

2 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

What are they saying or doing, exactly? 

That's what I'm wondering.