Long term marriage but different desires

[LaHermes]

2 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

f you're dissatisfied, then discuss your feelings with your wife and decide which is the best course of action for both of you.  Either go your separate ways permanently and do what you desire to your heart's content or find a happy medium where both parties are satisfied and content. 

I agree Cher.

So, OP, what is this supposed to mean?  Did your wife's best woman friend recommend him, or (as you may be trying to say) your wife has a male BEST friend.

3 hours ago, vomer said:

By the way he (the therapist) was recommended to us by my wife's best friend.

 

[abitbroken]

Why not go on a trip that you can both enjoy? Go to a destination where there is a biking trail, but is nearby to shows, antique shops, etc.  You go to a nice breakfast and dinner, she pokes around antique shops while you go biking.

Also, why not talk about what you BOTH would like to see on a vacation. What one does on a trip is different than daily life.

What about finding MALE friends that like to do what you do. My dad travels with 2-3 buddies and goes to car shows in other states = my mom could care less about going to one. Its wildly inappropriate to go with a lady.  

[MissCanuck]

17 hours ago, vomer said:

I actually get along well with women and have a couple as friends which my wife knows about and a couple I've known for about 20  years and never had sex.

How is this even relevant to your issue?

I ask that almost rhetorically, by the way. It's clear that your conscience is eating at you here, and that perhaps you are sexually attracted to the one you want to go cycling with. Otherwise, why even bother adding that little disclaimer? 

Based on what you have written in this thread (and without judgment), it seems you are bored and unhappy in your marriage and are looking for an escape. The issue of the cycling trip is not really the problem here, but it's representative of bigger issues that exist between you and your wife. 

[East4]

19 hours ago, vomer said:

She sometimes takes off for a month or so in the summer to go to the mountain

So, then it is not true that your wife is just a homebody if she mountain hikes for a month.

Reading through your posts it seems like you, vomer, are just looking for an excuse to cheat on your wife, citing biking as an excuse to engage with another woman. This is the most absurd and tragic-comical excuse for cheating/divorce I have ever heard. If you are going through some sort of late mid-life crisis, own it, the problem is on you.

[Wiseman2]

22 hours ago, vomer said:

 I now know of someone with the same mindset and desires to have an active life and of course she is a woman.  

This is not about cycling trips. It's about getting into your coworkers bike shorts.

Sounds like you have some serious midlife crisis going on and you're viewing yourself as some tour de fance hotshot but your dowdy old boring wife is holding you back.