My coworker crush sent a sweet response but how interested is he?

[garfish99]

51 minutes ago, abitbroken said:

Only if he starts using her cell and personal email and gets back in touch. I would not double down at this point. He was clear he was impressed with her work, he didn't state anything personal about her -- he didn't reference a hobby or an inside joke. I think that she is crushing and he is not.

I agree that he's over it for various reasons but I also don't think the cell phone thing is obvious because I didn't point it out in my letter.  I think it's only obvious to everyone here because I mentioned adding it. But I stuck it inside of the agency's standard email signature which comes up automatically when anyone send things. Mine is identical to everyone else's except I copied off the social workers' signatures by putting C : (cell) instead of fax:.   There's no personal email there either. I would think most people would read "Feel free to keep in touch" as something you just say to people when they're leaving to be nice with no expectation of hearing back. On my last go away card almost every message ended with that or "don't be a stranger".  

[Pleasedonot5]

Hi, OP. Your email read as nice but completely professional. He would not have interpreted interest from that email. I think he followed your lead and responded professionally in turn. 

I think you need to be more forward in showing your interest if you want this to possibly go anywhere. As of now, you have shown no interest for him to act upon. 

What about asking him something like this in person: "Once you get settled in at your new job, how about we grab a cup of coffee together? I would love to hear all about it." (Smile). Or something along those lines. That is neutral-sounding enough to give him a comfortable out should he not be interested, but shows your interest in meeting 1-1 outside of work. 

If he is with someone, or he does not feel the same way? Well, then he will be flattered but find a way to decline. In that case, you would be at the status quo and you would no longer have to worry about any what-ifs. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. 

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Hope this helps. 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, garfish99 said:

 I don't even know if he's single any more and I have no way to find out. That's how little I know about him. 

Exactly. It's not that you're not chasing hard enough, it's that he's obviously not interested.

He has your contact info and nowhere in his reply did he provide his personal contact or suggest seeing each other on any level.

There's plenty of men to date and it important to know if someone is interested.

Have you read the book 📚:  "He's Just Not That Into You"?

 

[MissCanuck]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Exactly. It's not that you're not chasing hard enough, it's that he's obviously not interested.

That's my read, too. 

OP, you said he previously had no trouble calling you, being around you and whatnot? He saw your number in the email. He will use it if he wants to. This is not a guy who lacks confidence around you. 

[garfish99]

4 hours ago, Pleasedonot5 said:

Hi, OP. Your email read as nice but completely professional. He would not have interpreted interest from that email. I think he followed your lead and responded professionally in turn. 

I think you need to be more forward in showing your interest if you want this to possibly go anywhere. As of now, you have shown no interest for him to act upon. 

What about asking him something like this in person: "Once you get settled in at your new job, how about we grab a cup of coffee together? I would love to hear all about it." (Smile). Or something along those lines. That is neutral-sounding enough to give him a comfortable out should he not be interested, but shows your interest in meeting 1-1 outside of work. 

If he is with someone, or he does not feel the same way? Well, then he will be flattered but find a way to decline. In that case, you would be at the status quo and you would no longer have to worry about any what-ifs. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. 

--

Hope this helps. 

I'm never going to see him or asking him anything in person again.  He's wrapping up his last month remotely.