Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Annie it was a best seller because it weaves easy fabrications/generalizations out of sometimes much more complicated situations. God only knows look at other trash on the best seller list. As far as Buzz goes, anything is possible, even if he does find somebody knew. The fact that he can fall in love with you and be in love with you makes anything in the future possible. I am a semi athiest but I pray he does take you back and you feel happier. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted May 27, 2005 Author Share Posted May 27, 2005 napoleon im writting the letter, im going to put it in his mail box on the way home from work tonight... im just a little worried that hse going to think im writting it to try and riggle my way back into his life.. im a little worried its going to sound like an i want you back letter not an i love you letter... Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Buzz you are trying to wiggle your way back into his life and you are wanting him back. The first step and way to disarm a person is being TOTALLY HONEST and remember his initial response doesn't mean his final decision. You have GOT to be totally honest and then sit back, let whatever complaining/protests he does pass through and let him think about how much he means to you Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 This is a gamble but you should do it, and tell him how much you want him back, that is an expression of love. Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 God I haven't rooted for somebody over the internet this bad in like ummm forever Link to comment
buzz bee Posted May 27, 2005 Author Share Posted May 27, 2005 ok i know its a gamble, im just dealthy afraid it wont pay off - that it will make him more angry at me - that it will push him further away..... god its frustrating and scary Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Buzz I am nervous just having offered the advice now. I really want you to get this guy back. I don't like seeing people suffer and I am a romantic. However I can't think of anything else. Just make sure it is totally honest, absolves him of all guilt, and that you step back and let him do the contacting afterwards. Anymore pursuit after this will only push him away. He needs time to mull over your words and romantacize the good things in his mind. Make it HAND WRITTEN, tell him what you loved about him, feed his ego, everything, say how much you want him back, but then STAY AWAY Link to comment
buzz bee Posted May 27, 2005 Author Share Posted May 27, 2005 so it would be better to give it to him after coffee tomorrow arvo? that way he has time to think without having to see me the next day? im writting it now... telling him how much i love him and that ive always loved him..... Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Buzz write it but don't send it yet. See what he says when you guys have coffee tomorrow. Save it for now. When and if you do send it, make sure you do it by mail. I didn't realize you guys were scheduled for coffee. Sending it right now would be too much Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 The fact that you aren't even on NC could possibly be a good thing if he really does still love you. You gotta be paitient Link to comment
buzz bee Posted May 27, 2005 Author Share Posted May 27, 2005 thats what i was worried about, think we are scheduled for coffee - assuming he rings and confirms today.... not holding my breath... we aernt on no contact but we almost are... Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Buzz the hardest part right now is to be patient. But you gotta do it. I know what I am saying is basically impossible, but watch a bunch of sappy love movies and get your mind off him. Check out Sex & Love. It's one of my favs. It is also very true to life. It's sorta like a girl's version of Swingers Link to comment
buzz bee Posted May 27, 2005 Author Share Posted May 27, 2005 sappy love movies at the moment just make me cry... thanks so much for your help napoleon - youve been a ray of sunshine in my storm the last two days, i dont know if it will get better... obviously there is alot to this story you dont know, but i hope it does... the fact that he is still going for coffee with me seems positive.... Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Alright well just keep me posted. Like I said, I honestly am sending you all the positive energy I can. Good luck tomorrow. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted May 27, 2005 Author Share Posted May 27, 2005 thank you so much, you honestly dont know the positive effect youve had on my life the last two days.... its a heart felt thanks... will let you know what happens tomorrow Link to comment
buzz bee Posted May 27, 2005 Author Share Posted May 27, 2005 napoleon thank you so much for your time and your thoughts but i think it might be a waste of time... ive written the letter but i dont think after tonite that he will ever see it... its time i stopped kidding myself and moved on.... i would love to be happy with him but i dont think i ever will be again Link to comment
sandela Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Buzz I can pretty much relate to how you feel. I too am in the midst of writing a letter to my ex-guy. Glad to hear that hand writing it will be better than email. Its so tough when you really don't know whether you're coming or going; how long to hang on for or even being friends is the best route just to keep him close by. I'm being told no contact and for me its only been 4 days. Our birthdays are in two weeks and there was supposed to be a BBQ party made for us by his son on June 9th. Crossing my fingers that by then the so called "taking a break" is over and not permanent. His son works at a restaurant in town and am kinda thinking about going to dinner with a girlfriend and catching up with him way before the supposed BBQ - won't tell him anything I'm just waiting to see if he'll bring it up. And of course he won't know about the break and he'll tell his dad he saw me. I know it sounds lame for a 40 yr old woman hoping that son will play this up for me without knowing it. Like I said I know the pain and its only been 4 days. Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Buzz, let me know how the lunch went. If things don't go as you hope, all you can do is send the letter and let go, do NC. He might see the letter, start missing you on NC (they often do) and respond. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted May 29, 2005 Author Share Posted May 29, 2005 thanks for everything, it went really really abdly and now he isnt talking to me at all.... sure of seen it coming... there isnt a chance in hell we will ever try again... im not waiting around for him for years... and he doesnt want much to do with me anymore anywasy... gave him the letter, fat lot of good its going to do, thanks anywasy Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 I'm sorry! I wish I were there to hug you, so an internet one will have to do. It's ok. Breakups suck. They really do. Well, at least you have your answer, and like you said, you won't sit around for years. Try to keep yourself busy busy busy these days - get your nails done, watch fun movies, go to the gym, get a puppy - anything! You'll get through it. Good luck! Link to comment
buzz bee Posted May 29, 2005 Author Share Posted May 29, 2005 yeah, all hes done since we broke up is go out to friends houses and get drunk.... he would never go out anywhere when we where together... guess that should make me realise he was embarressed to be seen with me and didnt want to take me anywhere..... 5 weeks after a 2 year relationship and hes back to his old ways..... Link to comment
sandela Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Its hard. All I'm told is that we have to walk the path of pain and healing. And I'm told not to dwell and to keep busy and of course NC. None of this is easy. I'm right beside you. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted May 29, 2005 Author Share Posted May 29, 2005 thanks - i guess no contact will be easier now that he isnt answering his phone or replying to my messages anymore - i think i have actually turned him from wanting to be friends to wanting nothing to do with me at all.... Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 Buzz just do NC for now and wait it out. Maybe he will come to his senses. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted May 30, 2005 Author Share Posted May 30, 2005 thanks for the opptomism napoleon but i really doubt it after the weekend.... he wont even talk to me anyrmoe... ive blown it, i dont think there will be a wait and see anymore.... he hates me Link to comment
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