Keeping contact with ex in my situation - yes or no?

[Mr. Sub]

Hi,

 

I am still recoving from this relationship ended couple weeks ago. It lasted for 2 yrs before my ex girlfriend decided to give herself and her ex a chance again. It is extremely painful because as when we first start off, she had a confession that she was still missing her ex. However, we ended up trying again after, but I never questioned her why she didn't get back to him instead. Recently her ex was trying to get back together and she decided I am less worthy.

 

Since then, she insisted she doesn't want to loss a friend like me. She wants to help me through this difficult time, even she may not be the right person to talk to. Here is where I need some help. It seems to me she is very curious about my process on healing. When I said I talked to a female friend about the relationship, she got very curious wanting to know who she was. A couple of times when I didn't get back to her emails she would call me and curious about why. She thought I was intentionally not responding to her.

 

What is her intention?

[shorty20]

I think that this girls kind of seems like she's trying to stay in contact with you in case just maybe this getting back with her ex dosen't work. Regardless, I think it's pretty messed up that she was with you for two years before she decided to give him another chance. 2 years is a long time, and it seems kind of strange that she could just leave you like that, and then come back to say she wants to be friends. The thing is, I think that when someone breaks up with me, it takes time for me to heal. Time without them, so I can get my own life back together. She shouldn't expect you to go from 2 years of being in an intimiate rleationship to just being friends, because she wanted to work things out with the ex. It's her choice what she does, but it dosen't mean you have to sit there and try to be a friend when you're still hurting. I think you should be looking to your friends for help, not the person that hurt you. My ex tried to do this. I mean, he didn't leave me for anyone, but we were together for 3 years and towards the end it was all fighting. He broke up with me, and then tried to be my shoulder to cry on. It didn't work. If you still have feelings, them being like that just makes it worse and give you false hope that there may still be something there. You should read my poem that's posted "salt in a cut" fits exactly. But anywayz, just do what you feel hun. Good luck, and I hope everything works out.

[bittersweetly healed]

hey mr. sub...

by reading over your post i have a few ideas for you. The first is that her intention is to have the best of both worlds. (which she cannot have b/c someone will constantly be hurt in the situation.) just because she tried things with her ex again doesnt mean you are not worthy. you are extremely worthy because you gave her your love and were obviously important to her b/c it was two years. you deserve someone who's love will be focused on you and you alone. dont feel like you have to be shared with anyone. I just broke up with my ex of 3 years, and even though we're young, we really felt good for eachother. but as we grew up and out of the high school stage, i started to become more successful with grades and becoming a manger and got my priorities in order, and he lost his job, did poorly in school, and lost his job. she might not want to lose you as a friend but for now- since the ball's in your court- tell her to give u time to think, as great as it might feel talking to her. she will not forget you and with time will only miss you more. so take your own time because her intentions might be good, but she is confused and you both need your own time.

[Mr. Sub]

Thanks. I always have a feeling that her ex is more important to her. Although we tried, but at the end she is back to her root.

 

I think I made a mistake by being so negative saying that our journey seems to end right here. I said it in a very heart-rending mood. She insisted the future is an untold story. But at this moment, her heart is somewhere else.

[DN]

I think you should forget about her and move on. She is keeping you on the back-burner in case her present relationship doesn't work out - not a pleasant or kind thing to do.

[Leges39]

what a slap in the face!!! dump her now.