Not sure if I am making a big deal or not with coworker...

[Batya33]

I'm glad it ended up being ok and working out for you. Obviously you can't have it all in any job and it sounds like the upsides far outweigh the downsides. My suggestion for the future is to force yourself not to indulge in office gossip and make interview related phone calls at your office -gives you an unprofessional look and it's not always a good thing if your boss knows you're looking and knows you've been using company time to look (meaning the work phone call -did you actually maybe want them to overhear?).

 

I'd assume that M wanted to train the person because he wanted to - leave the analysis of his personal life to his personal life.

[LootieTootie]

Hi Batya, sorry if I wasn’t clear.

 

I was on Xmas break for a week and saw a job I really liked that was posted. I have always been honest with all my employers that if I see something I like, I’m going to apply for it. My current employer or maybe I should say the ceo actually encourage us to grow and seek new opportunities and work experiences.

 

I also went to the interview on New Years eve which I went home early to get ready for.

 

Following week my boss got a call from the job I applied for. Not ideal but she sits in a cubicle next to some of my coworkers so it was bound to happen they’ll hear.

 

I have been at my job for little over 4 years and it’s hard not to talk to people who have spent those 4 years with me. I am definitely the one who makes small talk with everyone and then I quickly will side step away or pretend to type away (depending where I’m at) but sometimes it doesn’t work.. I’ve become somewhat the designated person everyone can stop by and talk to because I am right by the copier. It also doesn’t help that I am the one with a bench in my cubicle! If I was to get rid of this wood bench people would ask why. I have tried to put up a sign that I am busy and shoot me an email. But tbh I don’t like putting that up too because in all honesty my coworkers are my only social life :/ lol

 

Any way you are right about analyzing M life! I need to have a mantra in my life when I start feeling like I’m digging myself a rabbit hole. I realized I’m wasting energy when I could be using that energy on thinking about new recipes or new trips.

[Batya33]

I can't relate to how you choose to act with respect to job hunting - it sounds like the ceo is comfortable with people looking for jobs while on company time and encourages people to leave his/her employment - I've only had jobs like that which were internships where from the beginning we were told it was an internship only and not meant for permanent employment. I believe in honesty and to me that's different from sharing information. I am very selective in the information I share about my personal life at work, and I won't answer a question if it's outside a boundary -that's not dishonest that's just being selective about what information to share at work. I never would suggest that anyone stop talking to coworkers or being friendly with coworkers. I married someone I met at work and have close friendships that started at work. If you like you can reread what I wrote above. Good luck and I'm glad it's all working out the way you would like.

[catfeeder]

The way to seek work without impacting your current job is to use people from your past as references, not your current employers. Hiring companies get why you'd do that.

[LootieTootie]

Batya, Let me make this very clear....I was at HOME for a week-long Christmas time off when I looked and applied for a job.

 

I don't have time to look while I'm at work. I take a 30 minute break if I am lucky to remind myself and I always leave a couple of minutes later. & Thank you for your solid advices. I needed perspective from you all and I realized I was unnecessarily internalizing things that are insignificant.

 

CatFeeder, if I had a choice, yes I am with you. Sadly this job chose to call my current employer for reference, which was a disclaimer when I applied.

[IAmFCA]

Finally with everyone's vacations and holidays out of the way, I finally had my one-on-one with my Managers.

 

And yes you guys are right. I am personalizing it... way too much. Ugh...

 

A lot has happened so I'll try my best to type this out.

 

During the xmas holiday, I applied for a job and got interviewed. They called one of my bosses as a references (not T) and I did give her a heads up. I didn't get the job but apparently word got around. My boss is in a cubicle so apparently when she was on the phone, some of my coworkers overheard the phone call. One of my coworkers told me my boss gave them a rave review so that's good.

 

M came by and talked to me same week and said he doesn't like that I am looking and he just needs a couple of months to train others before he can train me. I told him that I applied for jobs if I think I would really enjoy the challenge and experience, and don't worry it was not because of him. However he kept saying half-heartedly and half-jokingly "Give me time ok? I am busy with different projects and tasks but give me a couple of months... and I don't want to do your job too."

 

After I got back from Christmas vacation, I have been quite busy with my own work. But I was able to go to my one-on-one meeting with a framework of what assignments/tasks I would like to do and which assignments/tasks I am willing to give away. I expressed to both managers I wanted to do more data analytics duties and I wanted to give away some of my lead capacity roles - portfolio acquisition and portfolio reconciliation (which can be painstaking and arduous). They asked who I felt could do those two roles and I told them I was hoping we ask the staff and see if anyone volunteer. They looked worried... Long story short, they think it's better if I give away my other lead capacities in website building/digital marketing because others would jump for those leads. Insert sad face.

 

They also encouraged me on my next one-on-one meeting they want to hear ideas from me - ideas how to make more space for documentations, ideas in marketing to target audiences, how to streamline x and y, how to be a 21st century company, etc. So it sounds all positive.

 

I also found out that M is going thru a tough patch too. Him and his wife have been separated for some time and during the holidays they were not together. The kids were with her. I think a lot of his just wanting to train his close friend only could have been a lot to do with needing a friend.

 

Any way since the meeting, I've been feeling great because I stood up and said this is what I want to do. I feel kind of sad because it may mean I will be letting go of some duties I enjoy - website and marketing :(

 

Well done, in terms of being up front with your management team & owning your choice and power to direct your path. Well done.

[Batya33]

Batya, Let me make this very clear....I was at HOME for a week-long Christmas time off when I looked and applied for a job.

 

I don't have time to look while I'm at work. I take a 30 minute break if I am lucky to remind myself and I always leave a couple of minutes later. & Thank you for your solid advices. I needed perspective from you all and I realized I was unnecessarily internalizing things that are insignificant.

 

CatFeeder, if I had a choice, yes I am with you. Sadly this job chose to call my current employer for reference, which was a disclaimer when I applied.

 

You wrote that your coworkers found out because they overheard you on the phone -that's why I made that assumption. Sorry if I misread what you wrote. Good luck!!! I love your new perspective.