Nice guys don't exist!!!

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

I have been reading a lot in this forum about so called "nice guys" who mumble that girls tend to go for the so called "jerks" instead of them. Well I believe that nice guys just don't exist. We are ALL EVIL. Who here hasn't cheated, or hasn't stole something, or hasn't lied? We all cheat, steal, and lie, though in different ways. Some people are more open about it, others are better at lying. But we all do it. We ALL have the capacity to do great evil, or do great good. Sure there are girls who mistreat girls. But haven't we all mistreated someone at sometime in our life? Haven't we all tried to take advantage or someone, or atleast thought about it? The point is that nice guys don't exist. And neither do innocent virgin girls. Sure there are some girls who are virgins, but no one is innocent. You might be surprised at some of the thoughts that these girls have if you actually took the time to really get to know them.

 

Now true intimacy is this: knowing someone and not hating them. Its being exposed to someone with all the faults you DO HAVE and having them still love you. Girls don't go for nice guys because nice guys don't exist. Instead they go for guys who will be honest with them and will be willing to expose themself to them, including thier weaknesses and faults. And they want to love you, no matter how weak and full of faults you maybe. If you think you are a nice guy, you are self deceived. Instead be willing to be honest with your future girl about your faults, and let her love you for you really are.

[MetallicAguy]

....Same thing as a nice guy. Sounds like a cover-up to me.

[guy40az]

Are you saying that every guy has cheated on his girlfriend or wife.. Is that what you are saying ?????

[easyguy]

No he's talking about lying and cheating in general. Or at least that is what I hinted.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

I meant that everyone has cheated someone how, but not neccessarily on a wife or girlfriend. SOme cheat on thier partners, some on thier school tests, some cheat at thier work. The point is that true intimacy comes not from being a perfect lover, but from admitting one's inperfections before someone and letting that person love you for who you are rather than for who you are trying to be.

[easyguy]

I believe the word is honesty.

[guy40az]

I guess it depends on what your detention of nice is. There are nice girls out there so I am sure there are some nice guys, but if you are confusing perfect with nice then you won't find any perfect men or women. Because the only person that could say they have done none of the things you mention would be a perfect person.

[PAdreamer]

The term is "nice guy" not "perfect guy". I don't think anyone here denies the fact that every person has their faults. When speaking of "nice guys" and "jerks", I think we're mostly referring to how these guys treat people (specifically the women in their lives) in GENERAL.

[easyguy]

Yeah, no ones perfect. Lying is normal in life. So part of life that it is almost part of the human condition. Whether it be law, politics, school, relationships, work, whatever, **** happens and it's unavoidable. It's how your DEAL with it that is important.

 

And saying that we are all evil is a little extreme, don't you think? "We're ALL HUMAN" is more like it.

[QTpie87]

Well if you think about it like that then yeah there aren't any nice guys, OR GIRLS, lol. But I think that what makes a nice person is to learn from your mistakes and not lie about them. Let yourself learn and don't hate yourself when YOu mess up. We are all only human.

[Mr. B]

What we have here is a man who cannot differentiate 'nice' and 'perfect.'

[Spirits Away]

Yep. I was shaking my head while reading this post and was thinking the exactly same thing as Mr. B

 

You have to get to know more guys. I don't know where you live but I'm sure over 90% of us are good people

[greenie35]

APPLAUSE!!!!! Well put...

[Spirits Away]

I don't know, i find it a bit of an odd post. There are lots of assumptions here such as:

 

- we all cheat

- we all steal

- if we don't admit to the things above, we're lying, and that is bad...

-> so that is not attractive to girls

 

- no one is innocent, they're just concealing themselves =J

- Proof: if we get to know what they think, you know they're evil

 

 

Sure there are girls who mistreat girls. But haven't we all mistreated someone at sometime in our life?

 

Are you trying to defend girls here?

 

As a guy, I can't let this post go without standing up for the guys here.

[ShySoul]

You contradicted yourself.

 

You said we all have the potential to do great good. So then how can we all be evil? If people were truly evil then they would not be doing good in their life. The mere fact that this website exists demonstrates that we are not evil, all of us are taking time out of our busy lives to help people we don't know and almost certainly will never meet. We are not perfect, but a nice guy or girl isn't perfect. We make mistakes, the important thing is that the nice guy will try to make things better while the jerk doesn't even care. The nice guy may treat someone wrong, they may be in a bad mood or stressed out about something and lash out. But he regrets his actions and seeks to make it right as soon as he can. The jerk doesn't admit to doing anything wrong and even hurts people on purpose.

 

There is a difference between thinking and acting. In the heat of the moment negative thoughts may cross a good guy or girls mind. But they immediately feel bad about it and are sorry for even having the thought cross their mind. But that doesn't make them evil or less innocent. Granted, true innocence is rare, but it is out there.

 

Nice guys and nice girls do exist, and they usually end up finding each other. And part of being a true nice guy, as I've been trying to get accross, is that they are honest and open, willing to expose every part of themselves. The jerk or bad boy puts on a facade to cover how he really feels, a facade that is mistaken for confidence. A nice guy isn't afraid to be vulnerable at times. A true nice guy is honest about his faults, if anything he is humble and says he is anything but perfect. It's the jerks who think they are big shots. I've also always said that someone should love you for you and that being nice is about doing the right thing because it is right. I am a nice guy. To dismiss the argument by saying that no one is nice and that we are all evil is an easy escape and a very pessemistic one at that.

[Spirits Away]

Way to go Shysoul.

[Blayzed4Life]

I'm a nice guy, I dont care what you say. Just because no person is perfect doesnt mean their not nice. Even if I do something bad I am still a nice guy, because if I know I did something bad i'll feel bad about it. I may not show it on the outside but inside I will feel bad thats just the kind of guy I am, I usually feel bad for others before feeling bad for myself.

[Day_Walker]

Every person has elements of good and evil inside them, yes we have all lied, cheated or stole in some respect. If you want to use strict definitions then no one can actually be that "nice guy" or "nice girl". Its all about perspective most people arent comparing others to absolute good or absolute evil they are using relative measures in relation to other people they deal with.

[spatzcolumbo]

Nice guys exist. They can be jerks.

 

Jerks exist. They can be nice guys.

 

People are complex. Nobody can be pigeon-holed so easily into being either one or the other. Just because anybody claims they are a 'nice guy' it doesn't mean they don't do bad things. Just because that same person thinks that someone else is a 'jerk', it doesn't mean that they can't also do nice things!!

 

A lot of people on this board should open their eyes to the fact that life is sometimes not as black and white as people make out.

[Jay-Sean]

Men have to lie we can't not lie, its just like breathing for us. I have never stole but lying is part of men no matter whether its a white lie or not just live with it

[spatzcolumbo]

This i disagree with. Once again, too quick to pigeon-hole people by saying that ALL men lie. This is not the case.

[ShySoul]

A lot of people on this board should open their eyes to the fact that life is sometimes not as black and white as people make out.

 

Sometimes things aren't black and white, but sometimes they are. Not everything has to be shades of grow or all relative and subjective. Some actions are clearly "nice" and others are clearly "jerk-like." It's the same thing I've always said, it comes down to usually behavior and motivation. A person isn't who they were in the last conversation you had, their who they've been in your entire relationship. If someone generally acts like a jerk, you can consider them one. If someone is generally nice, consider that them. If someone rarely thinks about themselves when doing something, their the nice guy.

 

Actually, we all have lied at some point, so thats true. But you can't defer from that that all men have to lie.

[Shinobie]

I'm a true nice guy that exists.IM just too ugly to get any girlfriends

[spatzcolumbo]

yes you CAN say that someone is generally nice. But my point is that nice people can do things that make them a jerk.

 

I'm kinda saying don't be too quick to judge people.

 

The fact that nobody is perfect is kinda what i'm getting at. One of my best mates is a nice guy. Fundamentally, he is one of the nicest people i have ever met. But over the last 6 months, there have been a number of times when i've called him a total jerk. And really meant it. He has done a number of things which are childish, hurtful, immature. He is still pretty much a nice guy at heart. Thus it isn't as black and white as him being a nice guy or not.

[KeP]

Umm...If I had to give the definition of cynical, I'd have to say "i_love_rain_hugs_and_you" pretty much sums it up. His post was the biggest blanket generalization I've seen in a while. Is someone evil as soon as they tell a lie? Should I be condemned to hell for stealing something? To say someone is evil for committing simple transgressions like this is just ignorant. I can at least agree with the bottom half of your post, saying that everyone has faults. But just because everyone has faults does not mean that they themselves are evil...

 

Innocence is just a word that humans have made up. We, as the creators of it, can change it's meaning at will. So maybe innocence is absolute purity, if that's how you'd like to think of it. I, however, think innocence is where most people stand. You are innocent until you completely disregard the existence of human feelings and life. *sigh* People are hard >.>