Husband too touchy feely with sister

[Wiseman2]

The problem is your marriage, not his sister. 🙁 Why can't you plan for romance? What's wrong with you planning a weekend getaway or romantic dinner and movie? Whats wrong with taking walks weekends/evenings and holding hands,etc.?

 

It sounds like you have not adjusted to the partnership of marriage and still think he should be 'courting' you. It's on both of you now to keep the romance alive. Also try not to be a cold fish and nag nag nag, particularly acting as if his own sister is the "other woman" or implying some sort of incestuous intentions.😬

 

That is certainly not keeping the romance alive, but in fact killing it with your jealousy, trying to march in and change his family and whining about how it's solely his responsibility to keep the romance alive.

we’ve only been married 6 months and every time I ask him to be more romantic and make special plans for us.

[milly007]

I find the spoon feeding to be a bit different, but not the nicknames, hugging, linking of arms, etc.

 

It’s one of those situations that’s hard to judge without actually seeing it, but being that you come from a family that isn’t very affectionate, I can see why this would make you uncomfortable.

 

I come from a pretty affectionate family and have brothers. If I tried to spoon feed my brother though (we’re grown adults now) he’d look at me like I was nuts. Plus, I’m way more affectionate than him and have no qualms showing my affection (yet he does. He’s much more reserved). Clearly, your husband and his sister have grown accustomed to acting this way around each other and were raised in an environment where this is the norm. Therefore, old habits die hard. Seems like something you’ll just have to accept. If your husband doesn’t see anything wrong with it, it’s highly unlikely that he’ll change his ways.

 

I do have to say this though: I have noticed that, while growing up with older brothers, their girlfriends would become jealous of the relationship between my brothers and I, which I always thought was odd. I would have expected their girlfriends to be happy we got along, but that wasn’t always the case. I can’t help but wonder if you’re slightly jealous of their relationship, OP? I’m not meaning this in a disrespectful way at all. Just curious. And if there are any jealousy issues, I can’t help but think that ridding yourself of this jealousy may help you accept your husband and his sister’s relationship. That said, their displays of affection for each other may not be the issue here, but you may be jealous of (or feel threatened by) their connection and the strength of their relationship.

 

Or, the issue could be that you’re uncomfortable with the ways in which they show their affection for each other, which could be perpetuated by any feelings of jealousy as well. Or vice-versa.

 

Just some food for thought.

[BecxyRex]

I grew up in a very affectionate, touchy-feely family and to me that's not odd. Does touch in general make you uncomfortable? Do you seem affectionate and warm enough to your husband?

[reinventmyself]

He makes these plans for his sister when she comes to visit to do things that he thinks she might enjoy and asks me if I think it would be “cute” to do these things, when we’ve only been married 6 months and every time I ask him to be more romantic and make special plans for us his excuse is he never has time or when he wants to do these things, something else always comes up. But for his sister, he finds a way. I just don’t get it

 

Is this more of the problem? ^^

Instead of focusing on the physical affection or attention he gives her, focus solely on the state of your marriage.

When you make the comparison I think it somehow loses credibility. He only hears you challenging his relationship with his sister which will just make him defensive.