Too much passion!! Were moving too fast but it feels so good. help me understand

[dropofpoison]

Hi folks im an extremely passionate dancer basically massage therapist gorgeous highly intelligent protective etc and I have a tendency to move really fast with girls, I think a lot in part because of how I make love. So basically my friend who I never thought I was ever going to even with invited me over to her house and some how, divine intervention I guess, we ended up in eachothers arms. So basically she swept me off my feet a bit because she was being really deep and real with me. This kind of stuff moves me because as much as I'm very much a man, I'm actually a giant chick in so many ways, so I appreciate intimacy very much like women do. Another amazing thing about the night was the best tasting lips I ever tasted, what? Ive tasted so many lips lol. As in actually the best tasting most pillowy lips. She wasnt even like an aamzing kisser, just an ok one, but it didnt seem to matter at all. Best smelling neck etc... So yeah needless to say I was kinda shook by all this. She walked me to my bus stop and fit so snug into my arms. We didnt go all the way tho. Was nice 4 that reason too in a way.

 

So then yesterday she came over and stayed the night and basically she had never seen my apartment and its like sort of a temple in here and just a cool pad, and also I'm a dancer and shes a dancer, but I dance a style of a dance that she really likes, and she dances stuff I really like. So we are both dancing for eachother and having so much fun. Too much fun. She fell in love my space and my sense of style and was basically a little shook up because it was so much exactly the type of place she loved. At night we slowly started kissing with all our clothes on until like an hour later we were both naked with this body bar I grabbed which is basically just essential oils and like what can I say, we were both in heaven. Still no actual penetration sex tho. For some reason I kinda think thats important to the story. Then we fell asleep in eachothers arms and slept like that all night without moving.

 

The next day we danced again for hours and had a great morning. Sometimes I would pick her up and she would wrap her legs around me. Our bodies connected so perfectly together it was like they were built for eachother. So ya. I walked her to the subway station and she had her hand on my arm the whole way there, or our arms around eachother, which was also ridiculous because you know how you usually bump into someone when your walking down the street with your arm around them? Its just never perfect right. Nope not with this girl. Shes just the perfect height and we were effortlessly walking in sync with eachother. Now that I'm writing about it, I'm actually a little more floored by that simple but highly unusual fact. So basically what I'm saying is that the universe basically is smacking us both upside the head with some heavy duty beautiful but scary stuff and I think were both kinda freaked out right now. Basically I guess we both know that we are about to fall in love and in a way it feels like we already have, but realistically we dont know eachother THAT well, so like I think were both starting to realize that fact and thats scaring us a bit, cuz were like well what if some real comes along and is just a deal breaker even though we have this amazing chemistry. That would hurt so bad. Were already both at this place where we are in the hands of the other. She said she had a panic attack after I dropped her off at the subway. She said it was because she had to tell me her story. What does that even mean? Why you have a panic attack because of that? Its cuz we are moving too fast!!!

 

I want to slow down. Like I wanna stop making this a thing. Its bugging me. I wanna enjoy it for what it is and stop feeling like we gotta make this huge thing work because we just click like that and if she doesnt tell me her story right away the sky is going to fall or something. I really feel that way. Its just too freaking good. You know I was just talking to my boy about how I really wanted to meet adancer who was on my lvl and then comes along not only a dancer who is on my lvl, but a dancer who is on my lvl who has the best tasting lips and the best chemistry of any girl I ever met, with a great personality and who dances so sexy for me that I'm just in heaven. & the funny thing is she feels the exact same way about me.

 

So yeah because of all that crap I think we both are like oh this is too big we r gonna get crushed. I found myself sending a couple of sorta clingy sounding txts because I think I just wanna know like we made it through that really scary part early on in a relationship where u see if your ACTUALY COMPATABLE, and I'm like oh god is she gonna do something weird now. So yeah its making it kinda hard for me to keep my together and not send texts asking her to chill the very next night n lol. Like how she gonna tell me she needs to tell me her story now. I was basking in the glow of so many good feelings and now I'm like hey what the heck your right! And it scares me when this just feels up in the air. I'm just so sick of people going weird on me.

 

I was hoping u guys could offer me some good advice on slowing this thing down. If u have ever met someone that u just super clicked with u will know how scary it can be!

 

What can I say to her that will reassure her, but will also make it clear that I feel like we are moving too fast. The thing is, now I'm not even sure its a good idea to slow down tho. Maybe we should jsut keep going fast or will it cause us more problems? Oh and what about the fact that we havnt slept together? I'm starting to get to the point where I feel like I will be more secure if we go all the way. Thats ridiculous right? See im such a chick lol Please help me

[DanZee]

Well, just go with it and stop trying to think too much. Keep texting her and set up the next date. You're in the honeymoon, honeymoon phase of the relationship. Reality may sink in later, but right now, see how she's feeling about things and just go with it.

[SherrySher]

You are going way too fast. You don't know if you're compatible because you haven't spent enough time together or found out enough from one another.

 

What you're feeling is infatuation and that is all based on hormones and physical attraction and not much else. But it's baseless. You can't consider it "real" or love unless you got to know one another very well, spent enough time together to actually know how you are together (good and bad) and become good friends on top of it.

Right now you are basing everything on infatuation.

 

You do need to slow down, start concentrating on getting to actually know each other. Live in the real and not the fantasy and build something together that has an actual foundation and not fairy tale stuff.

You might possibly find out that you're not as compatible as you thought, but it's not the end of the world. You will eventually meet someone with whom everything does fit and it's real and not based on hardly anything.

[Wiseman2]

Are you a virgin?

[Capttrae]

Don’t over analyze this. Just enjoy it

[dropofpoison]

You are going way too fast. You don't know if you're compatible because you haven't spent enough time together or found out enough from one another.

 

What you're feeling is infatuation and that is all based on hormones and physical attraction and not much else. But it's baseless. You can't consider it "real" or love unless you got to know one another very well, spent enough time together to actually know how you are together (good and bad) and become good friends on top of it.

Right now you are basing everything on infatuation.

 

You do need to slow down, start concentrating on getting to actually know each other. Live in the real and not the fantasy and build something together that has an actual foundation and not fairy tale stuff.

You might possibly find out that you're not as compatible as you thought, but it's not the end of the world. You will eventually meet someone with whom everything does fit and it's real and not based on hardly anything.

 

I get what what your saying. I'm not trying to go to way too fast lol. Its just happening and ok I've been in love once before and it felt like this and that relationship lasted 5 years, so I think you actually just dont know me very well. Im not a tard. Ive been concentrating on actually knowing her for the past 3 months b4 this. We hung out for days multiple times a week for the past couple of months. Its not like I know nothing about her. We were already becoming great friends before this. I know that we may en up not compatible after all. I get it. But to say its just infatuation is pretty shallow too. Ive been infatuated and this is present here, but ya theres like 20 different actual signs and markers I am getting. Not just infatuation.

 

and no I'm not a virgin lol. I was married to a drop dead gorgeous italian model for 5 years. I'm not like a little school boy who has his first taste of cherry pie. I could walk away from this girl and go to the club and meet a beautiful girl the same night, so its not like I'm being held here by my ballsac.

[SherrySher]

Apologies, I didn't see you as a "tard" but you are giving out certain impressions with your post.

It does sound as though you might not be experienced and might not know the difference between love and infatuation as you, yourself kept repeating how you didn't know if you were going too fast or if you should slow down or if you even knew her.

We are only going by what you wrote.

[dropofpoison]

Apologies, I didn't see you as a "tard" but you are giving out certain impressions with your post.

It does sound as though you might not be experienced and might not know the difference between love and infatuation as you, yourself kept repeating how you didn't know if you were going too fast or if you should slow down or if you even knew her.

We are only going by what you wrote.

 

Dont we all need a little perspective sometimes? Just because I am asking for advice, it doesn't mean I am completely clueless about the subject, after all I did come and ask about it. The fact of the matter is I see myself having an amzing time with this girl, and so does she and so we both need to keep a watch out that we r not moving at hyper speed and this is part of my process I guess. Today she called me and everything was more chill feeling. It was her who had an anxiety attack the other day and then I think I just felt that from her cuz i do that. Today we just said to each other that we gonna try and chill because there is lots of time we dont need to rush. Honestly tho the fact that this girl could sense how we both felt and called and just checked in and wasnt clingy or anything about it. Thats pretty damn healthy. I just keep getting impressed and I am like the most critical person. If something smells amiss I will be the first 1 to say it.

[Wiseman2]

Doesn't sound too fast. Just relax and don't smother her. How old is she?

we havnt slept together

[singingstick]

Just keep dating and enjoy the chemistry. It sounds lovely.

[dropofpoison]

Awwwww thanks guys :) It really is wonderful. We have been all responsive to eachothers needs, but not going overboard. So I would like some good advice about some sex stuff if anyone is willing to go there I would be most grateful! Ok so this girl is 36 and I am 30. I actually don't seem to be able to find a girl under 35 who can keep up with me or who isnt scared less of me. Even this girl was so scared of me, but I think by this age the call of mothernature rallies the courage ^_^

 

Ok a bit of foreshadowing: I'm not being a narcissist here I promise, but basically due to the fact that I was raised as a single child with my mom and all her girlfriends, I know women really well. I'm also beautiful and exotic looking. I'm a lady killer and a gentleman so I don't go around giving myself all willy nilly to the first girl that comes along because they get hurt every single time. They just cant keep up with me, because as if all that wasnt enough, I'm also legitimately brilliant and talented and I'm highly eccentric and I'm also an excellent street dancer (think hip hop and popping). I'll also mess somebody up who is going to hurt us but then I'll be as gentle as ever with you that night.

 

So she is scared of getting close to me because she might get hurt. I believe this girl can keep up with me. She kept up with me for the whole time we were hanging out b4 we even got intimate, and now that we are, she just keep impressing me and making my jaw drop cuz no woman has ever challenged herself so much with me. Like she is actively trying to better herself and reevaluate her outlooks. So hot.

 

So I havn;t been pressing for sex, although my lizard mind still has tried(very gently, but still tried lol) I told her twice now that I was happy she stopped us. It just wasnt the right time and for this girl I really want it to be good. So we have only really had like a few love making sessions, and there was no penetration or oral, but we were feeling eachother up. I didn't put my fingers inside of her because I dunno I just dont wanna spoil the surprise, and also I think she just didnt want it? The reason my hand even got there is because I had this body butter bar. Think a bar of soap but instead its massage oil. And we was rubbing this thing all over and then I took it ant put it between her legs and it was so hot and its just started melting so rapidly rofl and I thought "Well this is how I'm going to get my moneys worth!" It was so freaking hot because it just kept melting more and more and we was basically having a little emotional romantic climax with it, and basically as it dissipeared my hands finally found themself under her panties. The thing is, and this is the part I kinda need help with, I don't really know how to take it to the next stage without going in a bit with my fingers. The last thing I wanna do with this girl is talk to her about sex b4hand. I just wanna get carried away. Ladies what do you think about fingers before the first time? It will probably just turn us on more so maybe I am answering my own question here. Perhaps not tho!

 

So its my birthday on tuesday and shes coming over tomorrow, I'm guessing we must both be thinking about what is my birthday present? I've never had a girl wait like this with me. Usually we have sex on the first date lol. I get that she doesn't want to get hurt, but I'm actually willing to commit myself to her right now. Should I just say that to her? I mean basically we have so much in common and could dance for eachother until the end of time so l want to spend real time with this girl. Im ready to lock her down lol. Any advice?

 

its a terrible way to say it im jk, but I wanna build that sexual energy now. Im done with this friendship stuff.

[dropofpoison]

Should I be like do you wanna be my baby or something sweet like that? Or would that be labeling it? labeling it is bad right? I feel like ready to label it tho. Its obvious this girl is falling for me and I'm falling for her, so like why even leave the question a doubt in our minds anymore that we are going to try and make this work together. I feel like if we go any longer we just going to be torturing ourselves. Also I am on some sort of biological override no fap thing. Basically after the first day we kissed I just lost interesting in masturbating. I tried a couple times to like dif girls and porn and and I dunno I just didnt want to. So now its been about 4 days or something and I am like a cat in heat. I keep rubbing my body up against things and running my hands all over my body like a dang cat lol. feels hella good. Im excited about tomorrow, I can share all this energy with her. This no fap stuff is pretty cool actually.

[maew]

Phew! lol I can only imagine what you are like in person right now... talking a thousand miles an hour, throwing your hands in the air with excitement... there is literally nothing better than finding that person that you instantly click with and you just can't wait to be around them every second of the day!

 

It's not about slowing down so much as making sure you are paying close attention to her body language, what she is saying, how she is acting. Sometimes in our excitement we can get carried away and miss red flags or subtle messages from our partners. Not saying there are, but if you read other threads you will see than when couples move very quickly in the beginning this is almost 100% the case.

 

So... keep your eyes open to everything, and enjoy the moments you have with her! Can't wait to hear more, this is like an epic romance novel lol

[dropofpoison]

Actually I am trying to play it very cool. I was already relaly happy before I met her, and now I am just happy and have a ton of romantic energy and lovey dovey feelings making me able to dance all day. I actually ignored like a million signs with my last relationship and after that beautiful but also extremely painful relationship ended, I swore that I would be upfront right off the bat with the next girl. I already pretty much told her all that stuff already and she passed with flying colours. Honestly the only thing that is bugging me about her is that she goes to this bible study like once a week. When I met her she was in a tibetan temple living there, and now shes like at some church. I hope its a nice church. Im not into jesus or anything like that. I like the buddhists more tho. Secretly I am incredibly spiritual person. Im mindful for most of the day. I don't need guides anymore, guides are for newbs She braught jesus up with me on our second date when everything was going so good, and I was like wahhh? I get it, people are weird. I just dont want to share my girlfriend with creeps. So if they r nice people I dont really give 2 s, but if they r creeps and she cant figure it out or something, that would be a deal breaker. That would b gross sharing grilfriend with creepy church. Imagine they like whisper lies in her ears when I'm not there? Ugh.

[maew]

Actually I am trying to play it very cool. I was already relaly happy before I met her, and now I am just happy and have a ton of romantic energy and lovey dovey feelings making me able to dance all day. I actually ignored like a million signs with my last relationship and after that beautiful but also extremely painful relationship ended, I swore that I would be upfront right off the bat with the next girl. I already pretty much told her all that stuff already and she passed with flying colours. Honestly the only thing that is bugging me about her is that she goes to this bible study like once a week. When I met her she was in a tibetan temple living there, and now shes like at some church. I hope its a nice church. Im not into jesus or anything like that. I like the buddhists more tho. Secretly I am incredibly spiritual person. Im mindful for most of the day. I don't need guides anymore, guides are for newbs She braught jesus up with me on our second date when everything was going so good, and I was like wahhh? I get it, people are weird. I just dont want to share my girlfriend with creeps. So if they r nice people I dont really give 2 s, but if they r creeps and she cant figure it out or something, that would be a deal breaker. That would b gross sharing grilfriend with creepy church. Imagine they like whisper lies in her ears when I'm not there? Ugh.

 

Ok... what lies do you think they will whisper? And why do you think these people are "creepy"? And why is it weird that she brought Jesus up? I mean, I am not a religious person per se, but I am a spiritual person and I think Jesus was a pretty cool dude... what he stood for while he was alive was inspirational and life changing for a lot of people. If she is bringing this up so soon, it means that it's important to her and she will be expecting you to support her... whether you do is of course entirely up to you, but if you don't you can believe it will cause problems later on.

[dropofpoison]

Jesus was da man yo. Got nothing against a guy who said f u to the romans. Trust me. Its the f-ing weirdos who run around using that fact for their own personal gains in one way or another that get to me. When I was like 18, my bohemium mother who was raised a catholic but left home at 15 got scooped up by an evangelical church and they ing brainwashed her and she started talking to me about jesus all the ing time for 5 ing years of hell of me telling her she is a brainwashed pawn and her telling me to let jesus in. Until 1 day. Some time after I got her a computer and the internet, go figure, she finally said to me, NAH ITS A CROCK OF -fING Shi-t . So ya that scares the fu-ck outa me. Thats why I say if they are just regular nice people who r not gonna get all fing extreme than I'm cool. I just need to find out more.

 

I'm trying to be realistic here. Its very hard for me to find a woman with the list of I needd to feel equal, so like to just be like oh what the bleep you were influenced by this make believe stuff and now you believe some fairy tales? Awww too bad for us then.... I couldnt do that even if I wanted to. I'll go meet them myself and then I'll know. Its true tho I cant go through that again tho. I mean if her jesus thing goes as far as her going to a church once a week and having an imaginary relationship with the ideal image of man... I mean I do that all the time, I just dont call it jesus or church. So ya I dunno.... We will just have to see. Luckily I am not desperate so I can look at this with my real eye balls. Thanks for helping me out tho guys!! I really do appreciate it, I'm still young in many ways of course and so its always good to consult the elders so to speak.

[dropofpoison]

its kinda crazy timing with the whole jesus thing cuz I recently got to know this guy on youtube who is an mma fighter a dancer, and a mormon. Hes incredibly smart and passionate and all that. I look up to this guy. But I give him sh-T sometimes because I don't think he has even given his mormon stuff a second thought. Im just assuming that anyone who gives mormon a second thought would leave tho right? Anyway. My point is that he is a really cool guy and smart and I look up to him. I'm sure if I was a girl I would want to marry him lol. & no matter how hard I argue with him that he is just completely nuts to be as smart and as wise as he is but still be ing with some basic ass s_hit like the book of mormons. But maybe this is what I'm supposed to learn. People ar ejust weird. If they are not gonna be weird about jesus its gonna be about something even more scary so I honestly think I just might need to grow the fu.ck up.

[Wiseman2]

Have you read this?: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php

[dropofpoison]

no i hadnt thx

[HeartGoesOn]

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