jond Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Have been in low contact with my ex. We were together a year and then had first really big fight and she really pulled back. Said it was because I reminded her of an ex in bad way the way I reacted and got needy even though it was normal reaction. I got upset. Nothing crazy. No one physically hurt. No insults. No yelling even. Just was really upset for first time. Then she reached out and we began talking, but not being smart I took that to mean lets show her I am not like ex by going over it in detail again and she got mad, said I needed to drop it and don't be sorry, but just improve in the future. Since then she has either not responded to messages or has responded negatively. Not harshly just not well. I am surprised to see how common this story is on here! Last message was (from me) "Know your busy with your project at work and was thinking maybe we could meet up in person every couple of weeks or week to walk around a park now that it's nice until that is done. Just something short like a half hour or so to build something up and if you are still mad you can just glare at me until you feel like talking. We would see each other in person and build something. I got a bonus from work and was thinking what to buy and I don't want things I want experiences with someone who gets me like you." Her reply was "No. That doesn't sound like something I have the time for." Then 10 minutes later "Congratulations on the bonus." I just put "Thanks and if you do want to meet up ever let me know." Should I just leave it and go no contact until she contacts me or do the nice letter stating why I am going no contact? It doesn't seem irreparably harmed at all, but I know I keep bungling it and have no idea what improving is with no feedback so just flailing. Link to comment
DanZee Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Well, a big part of this is what did you argue with her about that reminded her of her ex? I will assume that you did something that was emotionally abusive which caused her to drop you like a stone. You need to accept the situation and stop bothering her. And no passive-aggressive letter telling her why you are going no contact. They only cause more ill feelings. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Link to comment
jond Posted March 24, 2018 Author Share Posted March 24, 2018 Nothing abusive at all. And all my female friends said it didn't sound like I did anything wrong, but I might have worded something like her ex did. Fight was over telling her big thing that hurt me and then she did it to me next day and I said it was upsetting and hurtful. She said she didn't mean to so no apologies for it. That made me upset and hurt. I didn't attack her at all just said I was really hurt. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Sorry to hear this. Yes stop contacting her...completely. Do not beg or send pleading grovelling messages like the one you outlined. She's still not over her ex and has a lot of anger issues regarding that. Said it was because I reminded her of an ex in bad way the way I reacted and got needy even though it was normal reaction. Link to comment
Ziggy123 Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 Doesn't sound like she is interested anymore. I also don't think it's your fault, Sounds like she has issues to deal with. Don't be hard on yourself just try and move on and date other people. Link to comment
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