LinkaLinda Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Hello, I'm seaking some advice, what to do, if this is normal, am I asking to much!? Soo, I've been together with my boyfriend for more than a year, and I'm missing the romance! He never said I love you first, he really dousent text me first when we are apart, and keep in mind we see each other only like 2-3 days a week, and usually never level the house anymore. I really miss getting little things like flowers, chocolate, surprises, even a card or a letter would be fine, because it makes a person feel loved, thought of, I don't feel that, am I asking to much? Is it normal? Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for him, that's why he dousent go out of his way. I know that he fiscally loves me, hugs and kisses aren't a problem... But I'm sad, that I don't get that kind of attention, crying on V-Day when you have a boyfriend is even sadder than when you're single! I don't want to tell him, because it would make me feel like I'm pressuring him, and that way of paying attention wouldn't be done by hart, but by pressure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparrow82 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Maybe he is no that kind of guy. We all love differently, if he shows you in different ways. Have you talked to him about it? If you tell him honestly how this makes you feel then it could help him to change. However, most people don't change so it is up to you to decide if that is what you want. You are worth a lot and deserve to be with someone that brings out the best of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 He was that way when you started, don't expect him to miraculously change now. Is this something you can live with? If this is something you need, then it looks like you will have to ask him. I get that it's not the same but it's apparently is not his style. You have three choices: tell him how you feel, accept him as he is, or decide this doesn't meet your needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Sounds like how you and him express love and caring are simply different. You might want to read up on the 5 languages of love. It might enlighten you a bit and help you understand him and even yourself better. As for the whole "I refuse to communicate my frustrations and want him to read my mind".....I mean good luck with that. Healthy relationships are built on open communication. Communication is NOT forcing someone into doing something they don't want to do. Communication is making the other person aware of what you need and leaving them to make choices accordingly. If you don't understand such basic things about communicating within a relationship....then I don't see how you'll ever be happy unless you stumble into a mind reader. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 You're with the wrong guy, if this is what you are needing. Why are you scared to communicate your needs? What type of relationship is that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zippy2000 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 You HAVE to communicate that to him! We are men, we don't know what you want. We aren't mind readers. Tell him and he loves you. He`ll do what you ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poorlittlefish Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 It sounds like the honeymoon period is over, but you need to tell him what you need rather than doing nothing and hoping things will change. All those little things you want - are you still doing them for him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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