Not Sure How to Feel About This Situation (Rekindling an old flame)

[sweetdesire]

I was involved with a guy about 2.5 years ago, it was strictly FWB, late nights, only called him when I went out etc. for about a year

 

I ended things you can say because I felt he didn't want anything serious. I was young he was young whatever.

Fast forward to now I recently reached out to him again just to see how he was doing and we totally hit it off. I mean we would talk on the phone for hours catching up on life and what we've been up this whole time. You can say we both made some major accomplishments, I graduated state, he got a job as an entry level probation officer, we both did not have kids and we're both heading towards a successful future. We even jokingly fantasize about a future together "one day."

 

Now here's the catch, he did share with me he is involved with someone however it does not appear serious and he explained to me their situation. It doesn't feel right to him because she has a son from a previous relationship. He even refers to the son as her son, not his or not even the kids name. Its ironic because I was also involved with someone who had a son and it also did not feel right. It was too much stress so we had that in common.

 

As soon as he mentioned that, I told him great, it's been really nice catching up with you and told him I didn't want to interfere with his relationship. Some time passed by and he began reaching out to me but completely a 360% from when we would talk initially. We went from him checking in to him calling me everyday, texting, coming to my work taking me out to lunch, he even invited me out with his friends. This has been going on a solid month now. I've been depending on him to make all the efforts.

 

I'm just a little puzzled firstly because I've never seen this side of him like ever. I didn't know he had the potential to be this type of person, show this type of attention, turn his life around etc. and second the other girl situation. I'm not sure if i should bring it up and or how and when to address it. I also don't want to ruin what we have going on I don't know it's going so well..I would love to continue being friends but i'm not sure if that' s possible based upon his situation with this other girl.

[Wiseman2]

What made you reach out to him? Are you dating anyone...or had a recent breakup? It may be best to pull back from this because at this point he's cheating on his gf, not broken up with her.

I recently reached out to him again just to see how he was doing and we totally hit it off. he did share with me he is involved with someone however it does not appear serious and he explained to me their situation.

[SooSad33]

Darn right you should bring his GF up. Because you need to know that you're on the same page.

 

If he's going at you like this.. and he's still with HER, then I'd say he's emotionally cheating on her.. right?

Would you like that done to you?

 

IF he is done with their relationship, then he has to admit it .. to himself.. and her.

 

I wouldnt jump into anything with him too quickly. You do need to see that they are no longer involved.. at all.

 

Watch their actions.. not always what they say.

Re you & him being friends? Sure.. if that's all you are expecting out of this. if more? Then tread lightly.

[Hollyj]

Did you meet the gf? Does she know about you?

[reinventmyself]

You could be the side chick or a rebound. If that's ok with you, carry on.

But if you want a man who will do the right thing even when it's hard and eventually stand beside you, you better figure out what's going on here.

[sweetdesire]

Thank you everyone for the responses.

 

I guess I wasn't expecting much reaching out to him just companionship being that we've never been serious. I feel i'm pretty realistic when it comes to my expectations.

I reached out because i felt we really did have chemistry and are compatible it just wasn't our time.

 

But yes I believe we should have a talk about this other girl and just clarify where we stand because I'm not trying to be played either. & if we can't see eye to eye then yes it might be best to leave things as they're before one of us gets hurt.

[SweetGirl28]

Here's an idea........ How about the three of you hang out?? You're just friends, right??

Lose him ! You know he isn't available, so unless the girl he's seeing knows about you, you are interfering in their

relationship. If he didn't want to be with her, he wouldn't be.