Still Missing her

[SeeJ]

It has been nearly a month now since I was dumped. I have had some rare emails since then and I wouldnt be so disapointed if I didnt still miss her so much. When we split she said she loved me but couldnt be with me anymore. I wish she would have not said that. I feel the same in that i love her very much, but to me if thats how I feel, I am not willing to give up. I guess that I simply dont unerstand it. Anyway, I am trying to pick a date where I am going to give up hoping and move on. So....heres waiting any advice?

[thefarewellnote]

I am in the same boat as you, it has been a month for me too, and we were together for 3.5 years. She still tells me she loves me, and I love her more than anything. All I can say is to stay busy, get out and workout, meet new ppl and work! Do anything to keep your mind off her. She will come back when she is ready. Don't give up....just don't seem desperate, cause it will only push her away.

[DN]

I am in the same boat as you, it has been a month for me too, and we were together for 3.5 years. She still tells me she loves me, and I love her more than anything. All I can say is to stay busy, get out and workout, meet new ppl and work! Do anything to keep your mind off her. She will come back when she is ready. Don't give up....just don't seem desperate, cause it will only push her away.

 

I agree with the above except for one important part - she will only come back if she wants to - so live your life as if she will not.

[thefarewellnote]

I am in the same boat as you, it has been a month for me too, and we were together for 3.5 years. She still tells me she loves me, and I love her more than anything. All I can say is to stay busy, get out and workout, meet new ppl and work! Do anything to keep your mind off her. She will come back when she is ready. Don't give up....just don't seem desperate, cause it will only push her away.

 

I agree with the above except for one important part - she will only come back if she wants to - so live your life as if she will not.

 

That is what I meant, just didnt explain it too well!

[Aragorn]

It has been nearly a month now since I was dumped. I have had some rare emails since then and I wouldnt be so disapointed if I didnt still miss her so much. When we split she said she loved me but couldnt be with me anymore. I wish she would have not said that. I feel the same in that i love her very much, but to me if thats how I feel, I am not willing to give up. I guess that I simply dont unerstand it. Anyway, I am trying to pick a date where I am going to give up hoping and move on. So....heres waiting any advice?

 

Well...

 

One month is still fresh indeed...

 

The situation is only briefly explained, like WHY she left ect is missing...

 

 

Not sure what to say, just that I have ben going through the SAME thing for the past 2 years...

 

 

I loved my first girlfriend VERY much, though I fell into a depression state.

 

She wanted to do things I as well did not apporve of (see my posts for more on this, they get pretty ugly with details as I recall)...

 

Well,

 

she ended up breaking up with me and there was not a SINGLE thing I could do about it...

 

 

Reflecting back I believe that she had already another guy she was going (or DID) ask out, and the list goes on...

 

I suppose the 'cure' is to move on, and over MONTHS, and even to this day I have shifted out stuff like:

 

Emails, letters, pictures, CONSTANTLY thinking abot her ect...

 

it takes time, believe me.

 

 

I moved into another relationship FAR FAR too soon and it was disaterous!

 

So do NOT rebound...

 

 

SO nothign you porbally didn;t know already, but sometimes it is good to hear it again... AND to know that other people feel the same as you and have gone through this as well...

 

Take care,

 

 

 

Matt

[heloladies21]

Yes friend, do everything above told you to do and also do this. You don't need to set a date to give up. It doesn't have to sound like that. But you can set a date to start to heal, and that can be right now.

 

Do No Contact, keep busy, and talk to other chicks. That's just what the doctor ordered.

[Maheshkk]

hi.. i'm not suggesting you any thing in this.. even i'm exactly in the same situation. acctually i wanna thank all who posted back here.. i think these suggesions are very much help full.

 

Being honest, as you people suggest to move on.. i'm afraid.. i'm afraid of loosing her because i think i'd find a gal like her again. its been a whole month since i spoke to her tho. i miss her more than any thing. its hard and painy.

 

The best thing for me and you is to keep moving.. experts suggesion is rite.

al the best

[HajiMaji]

Buddy, one month is still early - so its ok man.

 

Sooner or later, youll realize its for real and youll start healing. Right now its amazingly hard because you still are holding onto hope shell come back.

 

I cant tell you to give up one it, because its almost humanly impossible. Just hang in there man, and try to realize shes gone.

[coolchick]

Im just a new user and cant believe how many people are going through exactly what i am. Before i found this forum, i thought no-one understood what i was going through atall and everyone either looked happy in love or happily single!

I feel none of these just now coz, like you guys, im still trying to get over my ex its been nearly 3 months and it still hurts like the first day it happened. I dont feel any closer to getting over him atall. My ex told me he was so happy 2 days before we split up and even asked me what i would think if he asked me to marry him. But 2 days later, he just turned cold on me. Turns out i hadnt asked him about the results of a test he had sat, but i didnt even know he had gotten the results back yet I had wished him all the luck in the world when he sat it and he told me that he didnt know when he would find out how he got on.

How can one day he ask me to marry him and tell me how much he loves me and cant live without me, then finish with me 2 days later coz i didnt ask about the results of a test i didnt even know he had received?

[DN]

what did you say when he asked about marriage?

[Aragorn]

OK,

 

a follow up...

 

 

Yes NO contact is best medicine indeed.

 

TRUST ME.

 

 

Going out with friends and NOT being alone is VERY good therapy too!

 

TRUST ME.

 

 

A comemnt to a suggestion, which was to talk to other chicks...

 

well I would say YES do that, but be VERY VERY careful NOT to enter a relationship while you still feel feelings for this gal...

 

Again...

 

I fell into that. I started dating someone else 3 months after 'she' broke up with me and it was a BAD move...

 

 

The WORST PART, the very worst part for ME that is...

 

is picturing or thinking WHO she is with now...

 

It is questions like:

 

Is he stronger, better looking (well not than me ), better job, better off finacially ect...

 

It does build up a very powerful hatred engine in you, so steer clear if you can...

 

 

 

As for the extra 'poster people' well yes there are MANY people going through the same thing indeed.

 

We have all our own situations unique to us of course, but yeah...

 

I am sure there is alot of people who can relate.

 

 

Hope this helps,

 

This whole website and fourm is AMAZING...

 

and too boot the membership is FREE!

 

Count it as a FANTASTIC resource and a Blessing!

 

Take care!

 

 

Matt

[SeeJ]

Thanks for all of your help from all. The situation was complicated, I have had many girlfriends and none have affected me this way. I miss her very much, life goes on. Living the dream.