I think I found him.

[hihavatar]

Lately I have been talking about getting back together with an ex, but after listening to some sound advice from Wiseman , I decided to persue a new relationship with this guy I met on OK cupid.

 

He is 6 months older than me. He has the bluest/greenest eyes, We met at starbuck's for a coffee and talked and talked and I realized that he would love me for who I am.

 

Thank you, I am so glad I have met someone new that this new relationship is going to be amazing. I am in a little bit of a pickle, we live one hour a part and he told me that we can see each other on the weekends since he is working and I am working and he is going to school. I wish he lived here in town, should I ask him if he will move?

 

Thanks,

[DaisyMayPorter]

Wow! After one date you know he is the one? That’s awesome.

[ButterflyWrists]

I knew my boyfriend was the one after our first date/meet too. It's an amazing feeling isn't it.

[hihavatar]

I knew my boyfriend was the one after our first date/meet too. It's an amazing feeling isn't it.

 

yes it is! Thanks butterfly and daisy!

[j.man]

should I ask him if he will move?

Maybe give it another date... or 12.

 

An hour apart, while not ideal for a lot of folks (myself included), isn't exactly LDR territory, and neither of you should be even loosely entertaining the thought of uprooting for one another after a single date.

 

"Knowing they were the one" after first laying eyes on them is a truly beautiful thing if you happen to be among the 2% it actually works out for. As far as the rest of us go, it typically amounts to an unhealthy emotional investment into someone you, frankly, don't even know. Now that's not to say you can't dig the guy or be excited to see him and get to know him, but that it's generally best to complement your enthusiasm with a reason-based assessment of the connection you develop (or don't develop) rather than putting your faith in the stars aligning.

 

Best of luck. Try your best to take it slowly.

[hihavatar]

Maybe give it another date... or 12.

 

An hour apart, while not ideal for a lot of folks (myself included), isn't exactly LDR territory, and neither of you should be even loosely entertaining the thought of uprooting for one another after a single date.

 

"Knowing they were the one" after first laying eyes on them is a truly beautiful thing if you happen to be among the 2% it actually works out for. As far as the rest of us go, it typically amounts to an unhealthy emotional investment into someone you, frankly, don't even know. Now that's not to say you can't dig the guy or be excited to see him and get to know him, but that it's generally best to complement your enthusiasm with a reason-based assessment of the connection you develop (or don't develop) rather than putting your faith in the stars aligning.

 

Best of luck. Try your best to take it slowly.

 

Thanks jman. I am not going to ask him to move yet, but on hour dates we usually meet at the half way point, that is what we have done so far .

[mustlovedogs]

Absolutely DO NOT ask him to move.

 

An hour isn’t bad. I dated a guy who lived an hour away. I know people who work an hour from their homes. It’s fine.

 

Slow your roll. Have you even scheduled a second date?

[hihavatar]

Absolutely DO NOT ask him to move.

 

An hour isn’t bad. I dated a guy who lived an hour away. I know people who work an hour from their homes. It’s fine.

 

Slow your roll. Have you even scheduled a second date?

 

yep! He asked me out for a second date in my city on Sunday. I am sooo excited I have the butterflies. He asked mt to go to this restaurant on the east side of my town. I am so excited, I am beyond words and it is all because Wiseman told me to take a chance on a new guy instead of my ex. Thanks enotalone !

[Iggy5129]

An hour is not bad. I used to do that with my bf and we saw each other during the week as well. Now that we have moved in together we moved to a spot that is 25-30 min for each of us to commute for work.

 

Don't ask him if he's willing to move. You will work on that as time goes on. You will both have to compromise. For example me and my bf each use to live 10 min from work. We both had to increase our commutes to make it work. There are options. And it's definitely possible to see each other during the week. One of you will just have to wake up earlier to get to work.

[hihavatar]

An hour is not bad. I used to do that with my bf and we saw each other during the week as well. Now that we have moved in together we moved to a spot that is 25-30 min for each of us to commute for work.

 

Don't ask him if he's willing to move. You will work on that as time goes on. You will both have to compromise. For example me and my bf each use to live 10 min from work. We both had to increase our commutes to make it work. There are options. And it's definitely possible to see each other during the week. One of you will just have to wake up earlier to get to work.

 

That's cool, how long did you date before you moved in together ?

[mustlovedogs]

That's cool, how long did you date before you moved in together ?

 

Again, slow your roll.

 

Your post begins with thinking about getting back with an ex.

 

Consider this may very likely be a rebound for you.

 

Wait a year. At least. And please, wait at least 4 months before even thinking about saying ILY

[reinventmyself]

When you met him at Starbucks, was that the first meeting?

You refer to your 2nd date this Sunday, but yet refer to 'having met half way so far' as if you've done it several times.

Unless I am missing something you've only met him once and are now actually going on your first legitimate date. Yet you referred to it as a relationship?

[hihavatar]

When you met him at Starbucks, was that the first meeting?

You refer to your 2nd date this Sunday, but yet refer to 'having met half way so far' as if you've done it several times.

Unless I am missing something you've only met him once and are now actually going on your first legitimate date. Yet you referred to it as a relationship?

 

Oops, case of the Monday's, we have only met once halfway he asked me out an official date this Sunday but I was so anxious to meet him I asked if he could meet halfway . That is the starbucks date that we met at halfway.

 

I just mean this is a new relationship, someone new, not official yet.

[Andrina]

Even if he is excited about you as well, you are going to scare him away if you are projecting to the future already. The first 3 to 4 months is not reality. It's hormones going crazy, wearing rose colored glasses, and usually being at your best. Reality usually happens after that time period, and then you begin to see the real person emerge, and be able to see if there are any skeletons in the closet.

 

I'm not trying to be a downer--just giving you a reality check. You two might be compatible, and you might each make a good effort that you're both happy with, but only time will tell. That's not going to happen, however, if you scare him away with thoughts of moving in together, or him moving to your town, and even if you don't state those wishes, people have a way of reading what's going on in your mind when the thoughts are over-the-top.

 

Yes, enjoy the newness of a fun relationship, but for your own sake, take a one-day-at-a-time attitude, and don't make any major plans with him until you've known him at least one year. If it works out great, and if it doesn't, it means you took a risk and it didn't pan out, so you need to move on. Good luck.

[hihavatar]

Even if he is excited about you as well, you are going to scare him away if you are projecting to the future already. The first 3 to 4 months is not reality. It's hormones going crazy, wearing rose colored glasses, and usually being at your best. Reality usually happens after that time period, and then you begin to see the real person emerge, and be able to see if there are any skeletons in the closet.

 

I'm not trying to be a downer--just giving you a reality check. You two might be compatible, and you might each make a good effort that you're both happy with, but only time will tell. That's not going to happen, however, if you scare him away with thoughts of moving in together, or him moving to your town, and even if you don't state those wishes, people have a way of reading what's going on in your mind when the thoughts are over-the-top.

 

Yes, enjoy the newness of a fun relationship, but for your own sake, take a one-day-at-a-time attitude, and don't make any major plans with him until you've known him at least one year. If it works out great, and if it doesn't, it means you took a risk and it didn't pan out, so you need to move on. Good luck.

 

Thanks for good advice Andrina