bummercitytown Posted February 24, 2018 Share Posted February 24, 2018 So a little over a month ago (feels like sooo much longer, holy crap) my girlfriend of 1 year broke up with me. I have never been so close to someone, and I'd say the same was true for her. We sort of had a long distance relationship, while she's at school. A solid 6 hour drive. Wasn't ever a problem, I visited often and we talked on the phone nearly every day. She's in school to become a nurse, so she's super stressed most of the time. Anyway, she comes home for winter break and we have a great time, a wonderful, loving time. Before she goes back to school she cries w me and says she's going to miss me so much and I tell her I'll visit her as soon as she has free time (without an exam to worry about) she agrees, tells me she loves me, and heads off to school. Less than a month goes by and a couple of days before I'm supposed to visit her, she calls to tell me it's best if I don't come because she has 2 exams coming up and needs to focus. I agree. 2 days after that she calls me and breaks up with me over the phone. Prior to her leaving, and for about the past 3 months we had been talking a lot about our future, how much we loved each other, and when we'd be able to get married. Most of this type of talk was brought up by her, but I was fully in agreement. I loved her beyond words and I still do. I think about her every day and I wish I could turn my damn dreams off because I dream about her almost every night. I talked to her a couple of times about 2 weeks after the break up, we agreed to remain friends and she said she'd see me this summer, and that she is always there for me. Then one night she was snapchatting me, for the first time in 3 weeks, and I made her laugh and she was commenting on my design work (I'm a freelance designer) and then hit me with the "I miss you" text. I told her not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about her and that we should see each other over spring break, just to hang out as friends. She said she thinks about me all day, everyday, but needed more time. I told her I would respect that. So flash forward another week, we start to Snapchat again. I told her she was beautiful, she snapped me back with some cleansing cream all over her face and said 'am I though', I told her she was crazy if she thought that made me think any different. She told me I was killing her, I apologized. So one of the things she said when she broke up with me was that she didn't see me putting in effort to get a good enough job to support a family, or to live on my own/with her. I agreed it was true. It was a solid kick in the ass. Since that moment I sent my portfolio and resume to every design firm within a 3 hour drive from my house and scored an internship in Manhattan! I am beyond excited. I've also been going non stop, every day with my freelance and personal projects. I am more motivated than I have ever been in my life and haven't slowed down for over a month now, nor do I plan to. So back to the snapchat session... I told her my dreams were coming true and i wished I had my best friend by my side for it. At which point she tells me she needs to unfollow me on snap and Instagram. It's too hard. I asked why, if it's too hard, don't we talk about it? If she still has legitimate feelings for me, why try to push me away? She told me she needs to see serious changes from me. I asked her, 'can you not already see that I am changing? I love you with all of my heart and i know you live me back'. She said she needed time to see if it was real, and asked 'can you do that for me, can you give me time?'. I told her I could, that it would be the hardest time of my life but I could do it. I told her that I would see her this summer, and I would continue to follow my dreams, keeping her in my heart as I do. Since then, we haven't talked. But 2 days ago, a mutual friend told me that she is still thinking about me. She told her that she still loves me just as much as she ever did and that she thinks about me every day, and just wants me to get a job so that we can be happy and together again. But she doesn't want to see me before summer. She is using this time to seriously focus on her school work. It made me cry to hear that she said that. I just wanted to tell her I love her and give her the longest hug. Idk guys, what do you think? I know everyone says move on, she's not worth it, she broke up with you, you're more than a job, it's her loss. But I swear I feel deep down inside of me something I have never felt with any other girl. I feel something pulling me towards her. I feel like we are meant to be. But I'm also a very logical thinker, and that type of talk sounds like such bs to me. But it feels so sooo real. Idk what to think, I'm just trying to immerse myself in my art and over succeed at this internship. The weird thing is, my parents had nearly the same exact thing happen. My dad left my mom for 4 months, but came back because he realized how much he loved her. My mom took him back and they got married. Have been for 27 years. I hate that story tbh, because I feel like it's giving me false hope, but I don't care. I'll continue hoping, as I try to pretend like I'm moving on. What do you guys think? Will it work out? Should I hold onto hope? Or should I just try to be mad at her for leaving me and cut her out entirely? 💔 Link to comment
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