She got to me

[jackofmany]

Don't send her anything.

 

If she does get in contact again, tell her you're not interested. You don't owe her an explanation.

 

That's certainly a possibility. She will get in contact again, of that I am certain.

 

The one thing I want to know is if she was doing all of this with a boyfriend or not. I get SweetGirl28's point about it being practically irrelevant, as if she does not it is recent and she can't be coming from anywhere centered (although one of her texts to me was ... after 8 months (the length of their relationship) I am centered and feel like me again).

 

It's hard not to want to at least get that answer from her, as it would change the way I see her behavior.

[SweetGirl28]

She didn't value you enough to not cheat. Four months should have been the honeymoon period still.

But she was under another guy. A married guy no less. Move on. Who cares she's all lovey dovey and sweet now.

I promise you she has a dirty motive.

[jackofmany]

She didn't value you enough to not cheat. Four months should have been the honeymoon period still.

But she was under another guy. A married guy no less. Move on. Who cares she's all lovey dovey and sweet now.

I promise you she has a dirty motive.

 

I get it. I do.

 

There's a part of me that feels weird not responding to her at all. With just about anyone, I would. But I don't see much to respond to in that text, her saying she like a poem.

 

What kind of motive could it be, seriously? She's not going to love it if I just shut things down. But it feels like she's spinning her wheels all of a sudden.

 

I don't want to be passive aggressive. I just want to get to clarity as soon as I can and get back to where I was before this all started.

[jackofmany]

Just to keep telling the story, I went out tonight, didn't expect to see her anywhere, but I landed at a place where people were playing music, and who should be there but her and the dude.

 

She had written me about the poem, "I love that poem you sent me so, so much. I can't get parts of it out of my mind"

 

Eventually I did write back, "I knew you'd like the poem. Good poetry is also food (reference to her saying 'love is food'). Bad poetry is like wack shellfish."

 

So whatever.

 

I went out. When I got to the place I was going she was there with her boyfriend, who saw me. She either didn't see me or pretended not to. I let it go.

 

When I got home, thinking about what happened, the poem, the response, and the fact of her being there with him, I did send a message. It said this:

 

"And that is wack shelffish. Sorry, and good luck."

 

what did I do? I'm so pissed.

 

She's gotta be done. I need to escape with some dignity intact.

[SweetGirl28]

There you go. You got your answer. She's still with the married man.

Like I said the girl has no moral compass. She's a user and has very low self esteem to be with a married man anyway.

She's buttering you her and there to keep you as her back up. Older man, adores her, will be at her beck and call. And if you meet up you're getting the friend zone talk and that's that.

 

Be done. If you keep contact you have only yourself to blame for your anxiety and hurt. She does not love you.

Block, hang out different places, and find a real woman, not an immature girl who baits men.

[RayRay63]

Walk away and don't look back Jack.

[Carus]

Hi Jack. I've just caught up on your thread. You write very well.

 

I'm not sure if you read any of my thread but it is quite similar to yours. The breadcrumbs do not help with the healing that's for sure. In fact, to be honest, it has taken my life and my mind right to the edge...

 

I could see you having another relationship with this girl but the swirling thoughts and emotions behind your posts tells me that I think you would be doing more harm to yourself than good... Such is the effect an ex can have on us.

 

If you can truly be nonchalant about it then perhaps you'll do ok, but please be very honest with yourself and protect your heart and your sanity... Don't 'pretend' to be nonchalant because these girls have driven deep into our core and we need to be aware of that or we will suffer.

 

I say 'we' because I am tormented too....

 

Sending you Strength

Carus*

[jackofmany]

There you go. You got your answer. She's still with the married man.

Like I said the girl has no moral compass. She's a user and has very low self esteem to be with a married man anyway.

She's buttering you her and there to keep you as her back up. Older man, adores her, will be at her beck and call. And if you meet up you're getting the friend zone talk and that's that.

 

Be done. If you keep contact you have only yourself to blame for your anxiety and hurt. She does not love you.

Block, hang out different places, and find a real woman, not an immature girl who baits men.

 

Yes. That is the last contact I will have. I don't care if I run into her or not. I don't need to avoid her. She finally showed me her true colors.

[SweetGirl28]

Yes. That is the last contact I will have. I don't care if I run into her or not. I don't need to avoid her. She finally showed me her true colors.

 

I'm sorry :( but try not to be jaded and closed off because there are good women out there to love that will love you.

Good luck in finding your Ms. Right :)