Dodging the exgirlfriend at work, is that ok?

[angel1211]

Hi all, its been 6 weeks since breakup and maintaining no contact. Its been good but the only problem is that we work in the same hospital but different floors, thank god. We still have to run into each other. If I know that she will be transporting a patient to my floor, I make sure im not in the area when she is there and will return after she has gone. Sometimes I feel like she is purposely trying to run into me to start a conversation.

 

A friend told me that I should face my fears. I just dont want old feelings to stir up if i do see her. If i run into her, i dont mind saying "hi" to her but thats basically all i would want to say. If i am able to avoid her, then i should, right? What do you guys think?

[Stinkweed]

Well, I don't know if this is the thing to do, but I think I'd definitively avoid her... I mean, that's what I do... There's this girl I've avoided ever since January, cause of how weird she is when I'm around (weird in a bad way... a really bad way, so I'm 500% sure she doesn't like me, lol)... I just don't like those awkward moments when you don't know what to do, and you feel the person is looking at you, or at least has noticed you and is either uncomfortable about it, or thinks you're just a poor weirdo... Even after all this time, it feels pretty darn weird... Not even a single spoken word, but I still get the vibe that it's just not good to be around that person... Thank God now it's very uncommon for us to run into each other... still happens, but it's very uncommon... maybe she's avoiding me too, cause I remember I used to run into her alot, even sometimes when I tried to avoid her... Oh well, it's not like I care about that... But just look at me... first year in this school, very few REAL friends, but I've already made more than one enemy! Awesome, I Rock! 8)

 

Anyway, sorry if that was a complete waste of your time... I dunno if it's better to face her or avoid her... I only know that I'd probably avoid her, cause there's just nothing else to be said. All that had to be said has already been said... Good luck and best wishes.

[Belinda]

I'd definatly suggest trying your best to ignore her. AT the end of the day, confrontation with your ex does try up some loose ends, but overall it just reminds you of the pain, gets you ideas about them and messes up the whole scenario, not to mention adding extra drama in your life that you might now need right now. It probably will prove very stressfull.

Theres a reason no contact works. A big part of moving on is learning not to think about your ex anymore, and living your life happily without them. Bringing them back onto the scene will just drag the healing process along.

Actually, can you transfer your workto a different hospital? If you could, that would be absolutly ideal.

Then the temptation would never be there....

[angel1211]

Thanks for the quick replies all. Belinda, I am definitely not tempted to have contact with her whatsoever. I dont have any reason to. We are over and I have realized that. She is the one who, I feel, is trying to get my attention. From day 1 after breakup, she wanted to maintain a close friendship right after. I couldnt do it because that is not what I wanted. I alot of important things going on my life right now. She goes through coworkers, who are common friends, and keeps tabs on what is happening with me and people I work with (because most are females, some she hates).

 

I cant afford to move to another hospital because it works with my current schedule. I wish it were that easy but I had already thought of that option.

[Belinda]

Hey, first off, youre completely welcome for the reply.

yeah, I figured transfering might not be an option, but I thought Id bring it up incase. that kinda sucks.

But Im very happy that youre not tempted or anything, hopefully itl help the situation some.

I guess the best bet then is to bite your tongue every time she tries to get your attention. A especially brilliant excuse at work is that your busy. She cant blame you for that one. Eventually shell get the idea that you are avoiding her and shell give in and stop bugging you.

Just stay strong and try and forget about the fact she works there... treat her like you would any coworker, if you can

All the best, and good luck

[angel1211]

Thanks for the advice Belinda. Good to hear from a woman's point of view. Much mahalo(thanks in Hawaiian) and thank you.

 

aloha

[heloladies21]

Friend, you do whatever it takes to ease your own pain. If you don't want to see her, do whatever it takes to avoid her for the time. One day you will feel OK enough for it not to be an issue, most likely when you find your next serious girlfriend. So do this, talk to and date as many women as possible. Numbers say eventually you will find one that clicks. Get out there man, she's waiting for you, but she's not gonna come and find you!