musicman51997 Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 Hello all, I have been struggling with this my entire life. Therapists haven't helped, nothing has helped, so I'm turning to the Internet because I don't know what else to do. I am a gay man, 20, and i have huge attachment issues with straight men. I can't distinguish if its sexual or platonic. It's a very intense want for straight male friends that has been in my life since i was a child. when i was a little kid, i would come home BAWLING to my mom because the other boys in class wouldn't talk to me. My dad wasn't close to me as a baby possibly, he was always either working or drunk. Maybe that lack of a father figure translated into these issues that i currently am tormented by, As i got older it progressively got worse...in middle school i actually was happy because i actually did have guy friends that accepted me, for the most part, but then i lost them and in high school i gained all friends that were girls and now.....Im in college with barely any guy friends and i know it may be normal for gay guys to have this kind of need for platonic male affection, but its KILLING me and stopping me from functioning. I have tried to join clubs and i have tried to do everything i know to do, and I still keep wanting what i don't have. I have this deep insatiable craving for "bro" relationships, like a close male friend or group of male buddies that i can drink with and do dumb stuff with on the weekends ...i never got that and i feel a huge void in my life. But i am also kinda feminine and don't fit in and am not "one of the guys"....i also worry that if i get those male friends to hang out with, would i just want more? I dont want to hear any stuff like "ugh straight men are the worst just avoid them". Trust me I went down that road and it made me more bitter and more upset. I dont know what else to do. I appreciate any time you take out of your day to give me your words. I dont know if i will ever achieve these relationships and i dont think i can be happy without them. Do any other gays experience this also? Link to comment
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