Will my ex ever contact me again?

[Ctk2014]

Why was this enough for you? How could you respect her? Wasn't it also a clue, as to her having no friends?

 

Yes, like I said we had some issues, and both of us made some mistakes, but long story short, we both loved each other. I'm not judging her for anything, and understand that there were red flags, but like I said in the beginning, just wanting to get peoples' advice from experience as to whether or not I'll hear from her again, and/if there's a chance shed' try to come back. Not saying at all that I would take her back.

[Hollyj]

You still did not answer my questions?

 

What about this loser interests you? No job, no ambition, no friends, and no life. I don't understand what you find attractive?

[Everlong13]

I could be wrong but it seems like there's a bit of an ego/show off thing at play here. The 'alpha/beta' stuff and mentioning the material side of things first and foremost are what makes me think that. You say she was a 9/10 then mentioned her being needy etc.

I think your ego has been bruised more than anything else. Also maybe in future looking for someone less high maintenance would be good.

[UnchainedSoul]

I could be wrong but it seems like there's a bit of an ego/show off thing at play here. The 'alpha/beta' stuff and mentioning the material side of things first and foremost are what makes me think that. You say she was a 9/10 then mentioned her being needy etc. I think your ego has been bruised more than anything else. Also maybe in future looking for someone less high maintenance would be good.

 

Everlong13 nailed it right on the head for me. The main thing I took from the OP's post was the alpha/beta references. Since when does opening up your true feelings to a woman make you a beta? Where did that crap come from? It takes a COURAGEOUS man to do such a thing, no matter what an "alpha" may think.

 

That being said, I am not going to knock you for your choices because you wanted a trophy wife, she liked being a trophy wife, and you loved each other. That's all fine and good. Like others have said, she might have had an empty feeling creeping up inside of her, or wanted to explore a new "honeymoon phase" with the new guy. It honestly shouldn't really boggle your mind why she left you for someone completely different, because besides the "loser" picture you are creating for us to see, he might actually treat her better than you did, despite the financial deficiencies. Some men that have absolutely NOTHING, can love a woman with EVERYTHING, so I wouldn't be so quick to pass judgement.

 

As far as contacting you again, she might just do so. There may be a need for money, there may be a need to restart a "honeymoon phase" with you again, (make-up sex is the best sex to me), so it is entirely possible. But you sound like you are holding it together pretty well, just make sure the next "trophy wife" you find at least has some hobbies and friends, even if she doesn't have a career or her own.

 

Best of luck to you.

[Ctk2014]

Everlong13 nailed it right on the head for me. The main thing I took from the OP's post was the alpha/beta references. Since when does opening up your true feelings to a woman make you a beta? Where did that crap come from? It takes a COURAGEOUS man to do such a thing, no matter what an "alpha" may think.

 

That being said, I am not going to knock you for your choices because you wanted a trophy wife, she liked being a trophy wife, and you loved each other. That's all fine and good. Like others have said, she might have had an empty feeling creeping up inside of her, or wanted to explore a new "honeymoon phase" with the new guy. It honestly shouldn't really boggle your mind why she left you for someone completely different, because besides the "loser" picture you are creating for us to see, he might actually treat her better than you did, despite the financial deficiencies. Some men that have absolutely NOTHING, can love a woman with EVERYTHING, so I wouldn't be so quick to pass judgement.

 

As far as contacting you again, she might just do so. There may be a need for money, there may be a need to restart a "honeymoon phase" with you again, (make-up sex is the best sex to me), so it is entirely possible. But you sound like you are holding it together pretty well, just make sure the next "trophy wife" you find at least has some hobbies and friends, even if she doesn't have a career or her own.

 

Best of luck to you.

 

I did have my own faults, and could have/should have done many things differently. But at the end of the day, I did try my best and did alot for her (other than the spoiling). We did everything together, always held hands, spent all of our free time together, etc. So it wasn't a scenario where I just bought expensive things and jetted, we did have a lot of love. Even during the breakup, she told me that it didn't really have anything to do with us, or anything that had happened between us, just that her feelings with him were "so strong" that she was choosing him. When her parents met him, (and talked with him to get to know him, not just basing their opinion off of him being broke/homeless/going nowhere) they were puzzled as to why she'd ever give him the time of day. The word they used to describe him was "goofy baffoon" and said in their opinion he was spinning a web of lies.

 

At any rate, I hope she does contact me again one of these days.

[boltnrun]

Why do you hope she contacts you?

[sfindependent]

^^^^^ yeah, why? why do you want her to contact you?

 

i'm not one to judge tho :D :D

 

I blocked the ex a while back, and she said we'd talk in March. I'm fretting what she'd think of me or if she'd want to contact or what not after i blocked her. secretly i do want her to want me/call me. But at the end of the day, i know it's moot point. It's just me picking up debris on the shore from a ship that sank a long time ago. (it aint sinking anymore... it sank so long ago and tides rolled over so many times above it already).

 

sweet cheeses, you redheaded irish lass, call me!!!!!

[Everlong13]

Yeah why do you want her to contact you?

[DaisyMayPorter]

Her dream had always been to be a trophy wife, so that’s the life I was giving her. Which is why her leaving for this absolute loser is so mind boggling.

 

Really? Her dream was to be a trophy wife? Yikes. She told you her dream is to do nothing all day, have no aspirations for herself, and have a rich guy spoil her? That’s pretty sad.

[Liraele]

And no, she had no friends or hobbies or anything. When I say I was 100% of her life, I’m not exaggerating. Being solely responsible to take care of someone and be their complete source of happiness is exhausting.

 

 

Obviously not 100%, because she managed to find someone else while you were still together, and cheat.

 

Avoid the mystery of "will she contact me?" and block her everywhere possible. Problem solved. :)

[boltnrun]

Really? Her dream was to be a trophy wife? Yikes. She told you her dream is to do nothing all day, have no aspirations for herself, and have a rich guy spoil her? That’s pretty sad.

 

Well, he said he wanted a trophy wife. Some men just want a woman who will look good on their arm so their friends and colleagues will be envious.

[Ctk2014]

Obviously not 100%, because she managed to find someone else while you were still together, and cheat.

 

Avoid the mystery of "will she contact me?" and block her everywhere possible. Problem solved. :)

 

Much easier said than done! I wish I had the ability to do that...but it would make it worse just never knowing if she tried to contact me again or not. Everything about her has been deleted, unfriended on social media, etc., so she's out of sight/out of mind (as much as possible) for now.

 

Today is day 16 of NC, trying to stay strong...

[boltnrun]

My ex told me I wouldn't last two weeks without him.

 

It's been nearly 18 years.

 

Sometimes money and "things" aren't what we want. My ex has money but I left him to live in a tiny apartment with our kids because being my own person was more important than what he could buy me.

 

As for the whole "trophy wife" thing, my ex felt I should be "grateful" for the things he provided and that I should "be submissive" because he bought me things. He then accused me of being a "spoiled brat" because of the things he CHOSE to buy me. So yeah, I was much happier on my own than having to toe his line.

 

I know you may not believe this, but even though she seemed to enjoy being "spoiled" maybe it made her feel like less of a person.

 

I know you mentioned on another thread the "$20,000.00" ring you were planning on giving her, and that she somehow missed out because she chose to leave. That makes it seem like how much things cost is what is important to you. And I wonder if she picked up on that.

 

I think if this relationship ever has another chance, maybe focus less on buying her things and focus more on HER...who she is as a person instead of what you buy for her.

[Giblesp]

She dumps you and takes another man into your house?! Why the hell did you allow her to stay in the house after that? Kick her out and never look back. Horrible person.

[Ctk2014]

She dumps you and takes another man into your house?! Why the hell did you allow her to stay in the house after that? Kick her out and never look back. Horrible person.

 

There were reasons behind my decision to let her stay in my spare room until she found a place...long story short, it put her in a much worse position by me allowing her to stay. I know that doesn't make sense, but she's much worse off today than she would have been had I kicked her out immediately.

 

Day 17 of NC and still going strong.