Friends with Benefits???

[stargirl456]

So I met this boy on tinder and we've been friends since November. We went out a couple times and then he asked me what was I looking for. And to be completely honest, I never plan what im looking for, when I meet someone new I like to be friends and then see down the line if something is there so thats what I told him. He told me that he wanted whatever i wanted but wouldnt mind something serious with me. We went out again but I didnt hear from him until christmas, he wished me a merry christmas. (note that all the times we have hanged out have been at night and not planned at all, mostly hanging out in his car talking and listening to music. Only the first time we met, felt like an actual date) We planned on seeing each other after he was back from vacation. We hanged out and we cuddled for 3 hours straight. LOL it was kinda weird in my opinion since we were just laying in his car pitch black. After that he texted me 3 days later saying "I just want to be honest with you, i do like you but i dont want anything serious so I prefer a fwb or something" so I replied saying that I didnt want anything serious, which is true. 2 weeks later we hangout and we finally hook up, we make out but not have sex and after that we were cuddling and he was talking about his personal problems. 2 weeks later we hang out again and he tells me "to be honest, I really missed you" and he tells me how he notices how I dont open up to him like he does to me. He kisses me on the forehead and tells me im pretty, and even told me that he wants me to sleepover at his house so we can watch movies all night. Sooooo my question is, is this normal fwb behavior?? Ive never been in a fwb so im really curious. It confuses me when he tells me things like I miss you and when he opens up to me about personal things since he told me he doesnt want anything serious. So does this mean anything or am I looking too deep into it? He already told me he only wants fwb and we both agreed so whats the point of sweet talking.

 

Feel free to let me know of your fwb experiences! Im really new to all this and would want a little more experience.

[DanZee]

He doesn't know what he wants. It sounds like he's afraid of a relationship or maybe doesn't even have experience in a relationship. He might have only hung out with a group of friends instead of being alone with a girl. And he might not have any money because as you said, these are "non dates." He's not paying for anything. He might even be a bit autistic because he seems reluctant to touch you. And these two-week gaps between dates? It seems like he's trying to figure out what to do next.

 

Look, a FWB relationship would have ended the first date by going back to either his or your place and having sex. And the second date. And the third date. This guy is acting like he's on his first dates EVER!

 

It's up to you what you want to do. It seems like the ball is in your court. Maybe you have to make suggestions to him, like tell him, why don't you take me to the movies? Why don't you take me out to dinner? Why don't you take me to the zoo. And don't pay for him. Make him pay for the date. And if you want to have sex with him, then tell him straight out, why don't you take me home and make love to me? You have to be the adult in this relationship. He's along for the ride. Don't wait for him to do anything. Otherwise dump this guy. He doesn't know what he's doing.

[MissCanuck]

Yeah, this isn't so unusual for a FWB. The point of sweet-talking is to keep on board with that arrangement.

 

And opening up about personal problems doesn't necessarily mean anything beyond him venting and you being there to listen.

 

If you're looking for something serious, this probably isn't your guy. If you are okay with no-strings sex, proceed and have fun. But ask yourself this: how will you feel when you sleep with him and he doesn't call the next day? Or for several days? If you wouldn't be alright with that, don't sleep with him.

[Wiseman2]

Everything he is doing and saying indicates that he wants no-strings sex. Just because he's somewhat nice to you, doesn't mean anything. His best offer has been Netflix and chill rather than hooking up in cars.

even told me that he wants me to sleepover at his house so we can watch movies all night.

[HeartGoesOn]

He's sugar coating his words to make his way into your pants. The bottom line is, there's a method to his madness and it's not in the form of a relationship.