Been having sex with my ex for almost a year, can i still use NC now?

[lmao123]

So me and my ex have been broken up for almost a year and within that one year of our break up we've been having casual sex and not talking to each other the next day. I was my ex's first girlfriend and he is really stubborn and mysterious guy who's really good at hiding his emotions so I really don't know what's on his mind or what he is thinking. But After a year of casual sex I finally told him how I felt and if he wants to be with me and he just said "IDK" over and over again.

One of our mutual friend (which is a guy) asked about it and my ex said "Nah fk that" when my mutual friend asked about getting back with me but he never gave me his proper answer to my face. Anyways, so our mutual friend has told my ex that he has told me his answer and he told my ex that I wasn't fazed about it and that i'll no longer contact him at all.

Me and my ex had a really good chemistry together, he was literally like my bestfriend. He even told me himself that we get along so well. I've had few boyfriends in the past and I've never felt this way towards a guy in my life and I really do truly love and care for him.

I'm planning to go no contact and not giving in easily by giving him casual sex. Do you think NC will still work in this case?

I feel like he knows im too available for him and that i'll never move on from him.

He is still currently single and not dating anyone at the moment. Please help!!

[boltnrun]

Are you still sleeping with him?

 

Be honest with yourself...do you want to be "friends" or do you want to be back together?

 

Because a true friend would be happy for him when he starts dating his next girlfriend.

[lmao123]

No Im not. After my mutual friend has told him that I'll no longer be contacting him anymore. But the way we end up sleeping together is when we are out with all our friends etc and we just end up at his house cos he lives close to my house. It's really complicating.

I want to get back with him. I've realised so much through out the course of our break up and I really do want him back. I can't even tend to move on or even talk to a new guy anymore because I know who I want to be with, which is my ex...

Should I still apply this nc'? I feel like he hasn't felt that loss yet because I was always around

[HeartGoesOn]

As long as you continue to sleep with him, he has no reason to get back together. In other words, it's a case of why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

 

We teach people how to treat us, therefore the message you're sending is you'll settle for crumbs, because you don't deserve anything more. Why not set your standards higher and respect yourself, which in turn will make a drastic difference in how others see you/treat you?

[lmao123]

As long as you continue to sleep with him, he has no reason to get back together. In other words, it's a case of why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

 

We teach people how to treat us, therefore the message you're sending is you'll settle for crumbs, because you don't deserve anything more. Why not set your standards higher and respect yourself, which in turn will make a drastic difference in how others see you/treat you?

 

 

Yeah, when I had that last talk with my ex I told him everything that I've bottled up for a year.. I told him how I just feel so stupid how I do this to myself just to be with him, just for a little bit and ever since then I haven't talked to him or even plan to sleep or contact him anymore.

But I just want to know if he will ever miss me since I wont be initiating contact anymore.

[boltnrun]

But you said yourself you two don't communicate after hooking up. Until the next time he wants to hook up.

 

Can't say if he'll "miss" you, but don't fall into the trap of believing him if he says he misses you when he's really just horny. If he truly misses you he won't require sex as part of spending time with you.

[lmao123]

But you said yourself you two don't communicate after hooking up. Until the next time he wants to hook up.

 

Can't say if he'll "miss" you, but don't fall into the trap of believing him if he says he misses you when he's really just horny. If he truly misses you he won't require sex as part of spending time with you.

 

Yeah. because everytime we saw each other we would have sex...

What are some ways to show my ex that I'm no longer going to be his little puppet anymore and that I've moved on?

[boltnrun]

Um, how about stay away from him and don't contact him? And don't use any silly excuses to stay overnight and have sex with him when you run into him at parties or whatever? If he lives near you it's just as easy to go home. Alone.

 

You keep giving him casual sex and he'll keep viewing you as a casual sex partner. Not a girlfriend.

[lmao123]

Um, how about stay away from him and don't contact him? And don't use any silly excuses to stay overnight and have sex with him when you run into him at parties or whatever? If he lives near you it's just as easy to go home. Alone.

 

You keep giving him casual sex and he'll keep viewing you as a casual sex partner. Not a girlfriend.

 

 

that's why im initiating no contact from now and won't make any contact or even purposely go to an event where he will be there. I just want him to realise that I'm actually gone for good.

[Pleasedonot5]

Sounds like NC is the way to go.

[HeartGoesOn]

What are some ways to show my ex that I'm no longer going to be his little puppet anymore and that I've moved on?

 

One word...Silence.

 

However, I wouldn't try to use "NC" as a means of getting him back, as it's a silly game that won't work. If he wants to get back together, he'll find you.

[lmao123]

Sounds like NC is the way to go.

 

would no contact still work when it's been a year since we broke up but we've been still messing with eachother?

[Pleasedonot5]

would no contact still work when it's been a year since we broke up but we've been still messing with eachother?

Depends. What do you mean by "work"?

[lmao123]

Depends. What do you mean by "work"?

 

to get back with my ex or for him to realise that he actually misses me...

majority of his friends are single at the moment and I feel like he's enjoying his single life right now

[Pleasedonot5]

to get back with my ex or for him to realise that he actually misses me...

majority of his friends are single at the moment and I feel like he's enjoying his single life right now

Potentially, but most likely no.

 

What NC will do is allow you to heal and move on from him. Ironically, when we heal and move on from our exes, they sometimes start to miss us.

[DaisyMayPorter]

that's why im initiating no contact from now and won't make any contact or even purposely go to an event where he will be there. I just want him to realise that I'm actually gone for good.

 

Don’t worry about what he will think or if he misses you. That’s the wrong reason to do this. Do it for you. Forget about him.

[lmao123]

One word...Silence.

 

However, I wouldn't try to use "NC" as a means of getting him back, as it's a silly game that won't work. If he wants to get back together, he'll find you.

 

But how would my ex feel during my nc period would he even realise it?

[Ziggy123]

If you go no contact he will miss having sex with you. That's it. He said himself that he doesn't want to be with you to his friend. He won't say that to you because he wants you to hang around for his own selfish needs.

 

Go no contact and don't let him suck you back in. He doesn't sound like a very nice guy.

[boltnrun]

Just remember, if you act like a casual, no strings sex partner that's how he'll see you.

 

It's been a year of you having hook ups with him; not very likely he sees you as girlfriend material anymore. And that's a good thing, because why would you want a guy who you have to try to "get" to want to be with you?

[lmao123]

If you go no contact he will miss having sex with you. That's it. He said himself that he doesn't want to be with you to his friend. He won't say that to you because he wants you to hang around for his own selfish needs.

 

Go no contact and don't let him suck you back in. He doesn't sound like a very nice guy.

 

He never really initiates contact cos hes really stubborn. How should I act when I see him in public?

[lmao123]

Just remember, if you act like a casual, no strings sex partner that's how he'll see you.

 

It's been a year of you having hook ups with him; not very likely he sees you as girlfriend material anymore. And that's a good thing, because why would you want a guy who you have to try to "get" to want to be with you?

 

but I really do want him back. But I haven't contacted him ever since...

I don't know what to do anymore

[Ziggy123]

If he wanted to be with you he would initiate contact... and it would be something substantial like.... I want to be with you.

[boltnrun]

but I really do want him back. But I haven't contacted him ever since...

I don't know what to do anymore

 

But he said he doesn't want to get back together.

 

So there it is, unfortunately.

[MissCanuck]

You misunderstand what No Contact is about. It's not meant to make your ex realize what he lost; it's meant to help you detach and move on.

 

At this point, he will probably miss the sex. I don't think he's necessarily going to miss being with you, given that it's been a year and you two have not reconciled. When you see him in public, you can be civil and say hello but don't bother having a chat or flirting. It's not complicated at all. You are complicating it because you are still in love with him and have a hard time saying no to him, but it's not a complex situation.

 

Why did you break up to begin with?

[Clio]

If you keep doing what you are doing (having sex without being a couple) you are going to keep getting the same result (being used as a sex buddy until he finds someone he actually wants a relationship with, at which point you will be dropped).

 

If you do no contact he may or may not miss the sex. That means that there is a chance that he might come around but it would be on rocky ground and if the reasons for breaking up still exist you would break up again. Or he may not come back at all.

 

Regardless, using nc as a tactic to get someone back does not work in the long-term if the dumper has emotionally moved on and/or the causes of the break up still exist. There are no guarantees regarding getting back using nc.

 

However, if you keep doing what you are doing (having no strings sex with him) you are never getting back together anyway i.e. the chances of getting back together are very few but still higher if you STOP having no strings attached sex with him and go no contact.