Husband Smoking

[dee23]

My husband & I have been married for 2 years now and his cannabis habit is DRIVING me crazy ! I knew he smoked frequently before we got married but I was head over heels so who cared !

 

But we live in an apartment now & every time he smokes it lights up the whole apartment & he doesn’t understand why I’m so nervous that someone might smell it and say something! ive suggested smoking in the bathroom or smoking in his room but he insists on smoking in the living room!!!! I also hate that my apartment smells like smoke all the time!!! Anyone have any tips or have similar issue I’m at a lost and tired of talking to him about it !

[DaisyMayPorter]

I lived with a guy for four years who smoked. Not in the house most of the time but on occasion with smoke in the house when me and my daughter were sleeping. Now when I have to pick up my daughter from his house, his house always smells like smoke which leads me to believe that he smokes inside of his house since he lives alone most of the time. It’s a disgusting habit and if he wants to smoke a cigarette you should tell him to go outside or quit. Tell him it’s for his own health and maybe he’ll quit. It’s disrespectful for him smoke when you told him not to.

[nutbrownhare]

Sadly, you're very unlikely to persuade him to do otherwise... especially in the face of pressure from you.

 

You either need to get accustomed to it and tolerate it - if you still wish to carry on living with him - or wait with trepidation for someone else to call the police.

 

Unfortunately, the hormone-driven rush of the honeymoon period can cause us to overlook aspects of our partners which can be dealbreakers later on. He is the same guy now who you married.

[Snny]

I lived in an apartment that had shared vents with the tenant below me. The last couple weeks the new tenant was a recreational druggie. I had two small animals that came in contact with the secondhand smoke AND the smell got on my clothes (I was a teacher at the time). I reported it to the police and landlord.

 

If he's going to smoke, he should be doing it outside. Or he goes to rehab. Personally this would be a dealbreaker because it's putting you at risk for housing.

[Starlight925]

I knew he smoked frequently before we got married

 

Unfortunately, you have no leg to stand on now, and if he doesn't want to change his habits, you will have to grow to accept this.

 

Sure, it would be nice for him to start smoking outside, but in his defense, this was who he was prior to getting married.

 

This is why it's so often recommended to spend a long time together prior to marriage: to allow the hormone rush, the honeymoon period, the oxytocin, to subside and see the real person.

 

I'm sorry I don't have better advice for you. This would be a deal breaker for me, but then again, it would have been a dating deal breaker.

[indea08]

My best advice, because this all seems to revolve around smoke/smell (is that really what you're upset about?): get an air purifier.

[Wiseman2]

Is it legal where you are? Is it the smell or that he's high all the time?

My husband & I have been married for 2 years now and his cannabis habit is DRIVING me crazy ! I knew he smoked frequently before we got married

[thealchemist]

I smoke fairly frequently. So I understand the issue with smell.

 

I must say that an air purifier will do next to nothing to help a daily smoker. Been there and done that.

 

I smoke mostly outside because I have kids. I also installed a super powerful bathroom fan vent, so if I do smoke inside it is there. With an awesome vent fan my bathroom rarely smells like it. Just keep candles going most the time in our bathroom anyways.

 

He sounds pretty lazy though, so I doubt you will be able to get him to change his behavior. I also bet that laziness extends to other areas of his life.