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I think he might be a sex addict. Really confused?


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I met an Italian guy back in November 2017. We’ve been dating since then but nothing serious.

There was instant chemistry from the on set and everything was good until I went back to his for some Netflix and chill.

He turned really creepy and desperately wanted to have sex with me, begging to give me head and demanding so much sexual things I didn’t want.

I had also told him before this that I wasn’t having sex with anyone until I felt it was right and we were in a committed relationship

Anyway he ended up masturbing on me that night cause he really wanted to get off

After he did everything got extremely weird because of what had just happened and he walked me back home


I confronted him about the incident the next time we hungout and he said he didn’t want that to happen again cause it was weird but that he needs sex and I told him that I wasn’t going to until commitment so if he wants to walk away now he should cause it could be another month or months till I’m ready anyway he decided to stay


Now here’s the deal. We hungout again recently and after not seeing each other for about 3 weeks there was a lot of sexual tension built. We went for drinks and came back to mine which lead to fore play but then again this CREEP all of a sudden came out

I can’t properly explain it but he sort of turned into this kinky pornstar dragging my hair, choking me, forcing me to lick near his bum hole, balls, talking to me really dirty like it was a porn movie and I was automatically turned off


I get that some people have a kinky side to them but what I find disturbing that it’s not happening natural but just all of a sudden and I’m beginning to think he is a sex addict hence why just turns so quickly to a different person


At this point I want to cut it off cause I’m not into it. It’s not gentle and I’m not being introduced into his sexuality gently but forcefully

Or am I overthinking things?

We still haven’t connected deeply and sometimes I feel it’s me more so not reaching out cause I’m not there yet

But I also justify me not being there cause he hasn’t given me a reason to like I don’t trust him. I barely know anything about him or what he gets up to


Anyway I don’t want to be with an addict. Is his behaviour something I should be worried about?

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Break up now.


This sexual issue wont resolve, he's into way more hard core sex then you are comfortable with

He also isn't showing you respect because he knows how you feel about it.

Look for someone who holds the same sexual desires you do, without crossing boundaries that

make you feel unsafe.

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First things first, get rid of this guy yesterday.


In terms of what is going on with him? Two things.


One: Different people have different levels of sexual compatibility - I wouldn't be surprised if there are some women who are a bit more comfortable after seeing someone for a month (some do this on the first date) getting into bed and exploring each other's sexuality. So this just goes to show how wildly different your comfort levels and sexual needs/desires are, and that is something you should not even attempt to fix.


Two: He clearly has zero respect for your boundaries. That's the biggest issue here. He wants what he can take from you, and he will push you until the point that you forcefully say no (or get up and physically walk out). If you continue to see him, you are basically telling him his behaviour is okay. I would personally state to him clearly, calmly and politely, "I am not okay with the sex acts you are pressuring me into and the fact that you are so unconcerned about my comfort and willingness to consent. I feel coerced and duped into being alone with you so that you can take advantage of the fact I've let my guard down. I will not be seeing you again"


You haven't even got an emotional bond with this guy? It's not a serious relationship - there is no room for negotiation here. He has shown you very clearly the kind of person he is, and it will only get worse as he lets his true colours come out.


Get out of this

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He just wants to get laid. He's not "an addict", he's confused by your casual netflix and chill dates and allowing him to masturbate on you.


If casual sex is not for you then end it. Why allow this?

We’ve been dating since then but nothing serious.

There was instant chemistry from the on set and everything was good until I went back to his for some Netflix and chill.

he ended up masturbing on me

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Thanks everyone for your advice. I’ve just ended things with him and he seems pretty upset which I cannot understand why but oh well it had to be done

Looking forward to better months this year!!


I appreciate you all xxxx


Because nobody likes rejection, even if they aren't actually interested in the person. Don't read into that


Take more precautions with yourself moving forward. A lot of men will invite you home, if you're not ready for things to get physical, don't accept.

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