How to get my EX GF out of my brain?

[samthomas98]

So me and my EX have been split up for over two months now, she was the first ever girl I had dated and I was completely infatuated in love with her, it was a bitter breakup as she moved on and started dating one of my friends after three weeks of us splitting up which hurt alot.

 

I'm still healing and finding it very hard to move on I really don't know why I can't move on yet but she's happy and technically in a new relationship with this guy 24/7? Just makes me feel worthless as our relationship mustn't have meant anything. I feel like I'm more concerned with what she's doing that what I'm doing which is completely stupid. I'm never been the type of guy to care a whole bunch when things don't work out as I just get on with it because that's life.

 

Except I feel like I'm becoming obsessive with the social media stalking but I can't stop? I have her blocked on stuff but then I just end up blocking and looking again and It's ridiculous. The thing is we don't have any contact but we see each other most days at college. A lot of the stuff I'm doing is just not allowing me to move on which then puts me back to square one again, I just don't know how to deal with my feelings and I keep on feeling stupid coming to forums asking for advice but I can't get this girl out of my head.

 

When people have bad breakups which I completely understand, they decide to move on. She was disloyal to me and nobody know's because I never wanted her to look bad because I'm not that type of guy. How can I still care way to much for a girl that hurt me so much?

 

I just want to find this steady medium of not thinking about her as soon as I wake up and before I go to sleep.

 

Any help :/ ?

[DanZee]

Well, since you're at college, the best revenge is to start dating another girl so that she can see that other women want you. If you hurt too much to date someone else, then keep busy. You're at college and there are usually tons of activities to do, people to hang out with, and so forth. For meeting people, this is the best time in your life to do it. When you graduate, you will lose more friends than you make. So do it now! And you've got to stop looking at her social media. You already know that it keeps you from healing.

[boltnrun]

I disagree that using another girl to make her jealous is a good idea. It's not very nice. Why would you inflict the sort of pain you're feeling on some other innocent party?

 

You can stop stalking her social media, you just choose not to. I recommend every time you go to her page you tell yourself "I am deliberately choosing to hurt myself ". Maybe that would help you stop.

[1a1a]

Maybe you need to offer yourself a very very decadent bribe to stop stalking her media. I have to work with my ex and I’ve been stuck on him for two awful disappointing years!!!!! Finally someone here said no contact is more than just not contacting them, you also have to let go in your mind. So for me, I decided I couldn’t ask him anymore personal questions, no seeking reassurance that friends, can’t ask about his new girlfriend. My reward for this will be a tailored suit, and a Microsoft surface..... and art classes. I had to keep adding more, the reward needs to be good. Something you want but have never prioritised before.

[Bumblebee093]

I was and still and in a similar situation. We was together 10 years (I was 14 when we met and he was 16). He was my first everything. When we split he moved on a week later and I needless to say I was in bits! A few days before our 10th anniversary.

 

For the past few weeks I've made the mistake of stalking his Facebook, which in the end hurt me as I saw pictures of those two together so I blocked him and her, even though we're not friends. I made the mistake of texting him how much I miss and love him only for him to send me mix messages and play with my emotions. The best thing for you to do for yourself is remove everything about her from your life. Block her on social media, delete her number and no contact. It's easier said than done but trust me, it will help you.

 

You need to focus on yourself right now and learn that you can live without her. Set goals for yourself or plans, something that you will feel proud of! :) you are the priority and you need to put yourself first.

 

I know you feel worthless and insecure and trust me I am there with you but it does get easier, remind yourself that you're worth isn't based on what one person thinks of you. These feelings do fade and they do get easier. You just have to work through them. If you feel better writing stuff down, ramble it out. Be prepared to cry. I know it hurts right now and it feels like there is nothing in this world that can help but there is, it's just not the thing you want and it's not the easiest.

 

Us as humans like to hold onto hope but sometimes, especially in these situations it can be damaging to our mental health. We sit hoping they will come back with a clouded mind when in reality we need to be thinking about ourselves. I've been there and done that. I've sat and hoped and held onto it like it would happen but it just dug me a deeper hole and I felt lost.

 

Set goals for yourself, make plans, go out with friends. Just make sure you're not asking about her, ask ur friends politely to not talk about her, stalking her on social media. Learn to love yourself!

 

If it helps at all have a read of my thread. Some people have given great advice that has helped me a lot.

[sputnik123]

Hey Sam,

 

Very sorry you are going through this.

 

It sounds very tough, especially having to see her all of the time.

 

Dear Bumblebee offers very sound advice.

 

You will get through this.

 

Chin up.

[Piaresssss]

You still care because feelings do not just disappear.

 

I too am in a similar situation to you, first love broke up with me 4 months ago and I still think about her.

 

I do feel alot happier than at the beginning. Things I recomend you to do that make me feel better

1. Work out. Wether it be the gym, running in the park or swimming, just get out there and do something physical. Not only does it take your mind of it a side effect is you get healthier.

2. Hangout with friends. This is a time when you need to lean on other people and do not be scared to

3. Find a place to vent the feelings. For me I have two. I post alot of my thoughts on here but also talk alot to my mother. I sit with her and just open up. Like she says she can't get sick of me venting to her.

4. Cut the ex out completely. I had an extremely good break up with my ex. There is no hard feelings and I still think she is a wonderful lady. However she just cannot be a part of my life anymore. You say you see her at college so be civil but no more.

 

These tips may seem quite common or generic but that is because they work. I cried for days straight when it happened. Now I don't cry at all.

[Wiseman2]

Wow sorry to hear this. It sucks seeing both your exgf and (hopefully former) best friend like this..Agree with DanZee, get on some dating apps or keep your head up and notice and start talking to and hanging out with other girls. Not to make a point or show off, but to show yourself that this girl was not the only game in town and there are plenty of much nicer girls around.

 

Of course stop creeping her social media and instead start updating yours with positive posts and pics.

she was the first ever girl I had dated and I was completely infatuated in love with her, it was a bitter breakup as she moved on and started dating one of my friends after three weeks of us splitting up which hurt alot.