YesIBelieve Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 (Note: I am doing this to get her back. I know some people disagree with that mentality and think you should look at other fish in the sea, but it is what it is. I'm not trying to get over her. I want her back.) Last night my fiancée broke up with me (or did she? Her profile picture is still a photo of us together, and she didn't say that the break was permanent and non-negotiable). Admittedly, I didn't take it well, I cried on the phone call with her and even said that I don't want to live anymore (but then clarified that I wouldn't actually kill myself). I also said that I'm not gonna go to work today. She ended the talk pretty abruptly when I said "I don't want this to be the last words" and she said "but they will be" and hung up on me. I texted her a few things after that, and then she said "I like being alone". I responded with "I don't". At that point, I discovered the concept of NoContact. The explanations online, how she broke up because I was too clingy, responded to her messages too quickly, gave her too much attention and too many compliments etc., you get the idea... all fit me to a tee. It made so much sense and implementing NoContact as an attempt to get her back seemed like a very good idea. I decided to go to my job anyway. But then at work she started messaging me. First she asked me "why not?" and then she started trying to call me on skype. She wrote that she wants to make sure I am ok, and every time she called me, I declined the call and then she'd call me again and I'd decline again. She must have tried to call about 10 times in the span of around 3 hours, and I am sure when she wakes up, she'll continue spam-calling me. Now I told a co-worker about this, and he said I should still talk to her once or twice a day but be short and concise and don't show any feelings for her. I'm not sure I agree with him, since most people online seem to be saying that strict NoContact for at least a couple of weeks is the way to go. However, I am considering just writing her "I'm fine. was at work" as a last message before going on NoContact for about 21 days. This would have multiple benefits I believe: Firstly, if she thinks I'm gonna hurt myself, this would reassure her that I am not. Secondly, this would leave the conversation on a positive note. Not with me saying something negative/clingy as the last thing, but with me saying something confident. She would wonder why I'm fine and think I'm having a decent time without her. The only thing is, what should I do when she inevitably calls me after I write her that? Wouldn't it be weird to just ignore her completely right after I write something? What do you guys think I should do? Link to comment
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