My ex boyfriend broke up with me and I'm now going through depression

[Urbandecay19]

I've been with my ex boyfriend for 3 years, things were very serious between us and we had always spoke about marriage and children. Recently he's just broken up with me because he says that he's lost feelings for me and doesn't see me as a girlfriend anymore, I begged and convinced him to take me back which resulted him in pushing me away further. I'm unable to eat sleep or do anything and I'm losing a lot of weight. He kept telling me to move on and was so rude towards me, he gave me no hope. I had lost all confidence in myself and I wanted to hate him so much. As a distraction I decided to make a tinder account to take my mind off of things and give my confidence a boost (even tho I'm really not interested in anybody it was really just for a confidence boost) well one of my ex's friends saw my account and showed my ex. He was furious that I had moved on so quickly however I explained to him I hadn't and I'm not interested in anybody it was nothing serious. He now hates me and swears that we will never be together again and he sees me as an embarrassment and how he feels disgusted to even refer to me as an ex (he has a very big ego) I really don't know what to do I want him back and love him so much please help

[Jan2728]

Don't do anything. It's time for no contact.

[Ziggy123]

Why do you want someone back who is like that?

[KJthereal]

You definitely need to go No contact. Delete his number out of your phone, and make sure he is not visible on any of your social media platforms. As hard as it is, the best way to get over a nasty split is to purge yourself of the entire relationship. If I am hurting I will delete every text thread, every photo etc. It seems dramatic but it helps me create a blank slate.

The first month of NC may not be easy. You ARE going to have moments where you will forget about him. You will have moments where you are alone at night and want to text him. You will have moments of sadness, of anger, of relief, of joy, of hope. Just remember that the best thing to do is to distance yourself. He had ZERO right to call you out for being on Tinder. He broke things off with you (in a rather harsh way it sounds) and therefore you are free to do whatever you want to do. That is just the male ego, thinking that women (including ex girlfriends, laughably) are possessions. You need to reclaim yourself.

 

Do you really want to be with a man who says he is no longer interested? This says a lot about your self worth. It seems like you have derived your validation and confidence off being with him, when really it should come from yourself.

 

Some healing tips form me at this point would be to get social, go out with some girlfriends, pamper yourself to a new haircut, manicure, spa day, shopping day etc. Hit the gym. Go out for drinks. Wear something sexy. Fall in love with yourself!! Gaining your confidence back is so important after a breakup. No women should ever let a man control her so much that his absence makes her stop caring for herself or her body. You can do so much better and even if you still feel a bit depressed, looking nice always makes us feel a little nicer. There is a man out there who will adore and worship every inch of you and want you as his wife. I know it is so hard but be hopeful for the future.

 

Also I suggest counselling as well. I used a counsellor for when I was going through tough relationship problems or break ups. I often felt for awhile like I couldn't get a hold of myself, I would cry and feel hopeless. I would always run to the counselling office at my college and for some reason just opening up to her about it made me feel better. It took a load off my chest and made me realize it was kind of insignificant in a way when I was rehashing the details. She also gave me a list of things to do when I was feeling anxious or depressed.

[lady00]

He sounds pretty childish/immature. Perhaps he is not ready for a serious relationship. There isn't much you can do other than stop contacting him and contact a doctor or therapist about your depression. I have been severely depressed after a breakup with a very immature man (we were both in our early 20s and not behaving as grown ups yet). I think if you are prone to depression a breakup can trigger a downward spiral as it did in my case. I got free therapy from my university and t helped a lot. This was over 10 years ago for me, but I can still remember how awful I felt and I am so glad it's behind me. You will get there. You just need the right kind of help and self care.

[SweetGirl28]

Do not let this guy emotionally abuse you like this!

You did nothing wrong. He broke up with you.

Breaking up means that person full well knows they are letting you go to be with someone else.

It's a risk he chose. He wasn't concerned until he thought you were moving on.

 

Even if you did meet up with someone, so what? You are free to do as you choose.

You do not owe him nor anyone an explanation.

[AutumnBorn]

He doesn't want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to want you, either. What a catch - throw him back.

[No1]

I don't want you or have feelings for you, but how dare you embarrass me by going out on dates. Yeah, that makes sense.

 

What is going on with you is quite normal. You are hurt, break ups suck and you are going to go thru a library of emotions. But a few things you must understand. 1. This is temporary- You are not going to be 86 yrs old and crying over your X. 2. You will find someone else- You might not see it now, but look, you are attractive enough to have other guys look at you so the odds of you being single for the next 50 years is going to be mathematically impossible. 3. He wasn't the one for you- I don't know much of your relationship but this guy is not the one for you. I think it was more about what you could do for him rather than what he could do for you. I bet if you looked back at your relationship it was more of a one way relationship. Make me happy then Ill make you happy. 4. Forget the past promises and talks about the future- None of that matters now. They were things that were said during the relationship and since its over, they don't matter. 5. Purge him from your physical life- that means no social media, phone number, delete all texts, messages, emails or whatever. Get rid of or Box anything he ever gave you and or all pictures you two have. Out of sight, out of mind. 6. You are going to hurt. Time will not move fast enough and you will have good moments and bad moments. Know in the long run, youll be happy again, just with someone else. :) It was his loss. Not yours.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. Fortunately it sounds like you lost a possessive jerk. If he breaks up it's none of his business what you do. Stop letting him control you. Block him on everything and strict no contact. Good luck with Tinder even if you are just browsing for now.

he's just broken up with me because he says that he's lost feelings for me. I decided to make a tinder account.He was furious that I had moved on so quickly