Should I date this guy?

[Mess]

I really like this guy... However, we "dated" (only lasted a few weeks) before and it was a mess. We broke up mutually because he definitely needed to get over his ex, he wanted to explore before settling down again, and I didn't want someone who's feelings weren't the same. We did rush into things the first time but now he feels like he's ready to commit and love me.

 

We still stayed close while we broke up and as if go over to his house he was open about everything he was doing. It would go great and he's someone who I also feel I can talk to about anything.

 

But here's the thing... Everytime I would go over he would try to make advances on me. At first it was sex but once it got through his head he wasn't going to receive any from me he gave up and moved to touching he gave up on that after a while then moved to kissing. Each time I would say no and he wouldn't really respect my decision at all. He would just keep saying you know you want to and I'd have to really dumb down my reasoning so he'd understand. He would keep trying but as soon as I got it through his fat head he finally understood I'm not that kind of girl.

 

Now I do like him still and he's definitely changed a lot, he's over his ex and he's definitely calmed down and has stopped trying to make moves on me. However just the fact that it took him so long to respect my decision I'm not quite sure how a relationship would be with him... Should I do it?

[Hollyj]

Honestly, it does not sound like he respected you.

 

I wonder what your time line is? When did you end things? How long did you date? How long has he been broken up with the ex? How long did they date? How do you know that he is over her?

[Mess]

We worked together all summer and kept in contact as we both attended our separate universities (around 8 months). We ended thing 3 months ago. He broke up with his ex 3 and a half months ago. They dated for 2 and a half years. And I feel like he's over her because he's realized now how manipulative she was and just how much of an ass she was being. It's kinda more turned into a dislike...

[Hollyj]

He dated her for 2.5 years. He is no where near being over her.

 

He can say whatever he wants to about her. After such a long relationship, He needs at least 6 months, maybe a year. You are putting yourself into rebound territory, again, if you get involved with him.

[willdation]

So you would go over to his place and he would make advances.....Most guys are taught that they must do this as women do not make advances at all.....the thing is that some just try wayy to hard....

[j.man]

"Mommy, how did you meet daddy?"

"Well lol he just kept trying to bang me and i was like lol no but he disrespected my decision so many times that i just had to give him a chance!"

[Wiseman2]

Why are you hanging out in intimate settings with someone you broke up with because "it was a mess".

Each time I would say no and he wouldn't really respect my decision at all. He would just keep saying you know you want to

[Liraele]

While I can't speak to whether or not he's actually over his ex (it's different for everyone how long it takes them to heal and process things), I do agree with others in that it doesn't particularly sound like dude respects you OR boundaries in general. If I were in your shoes, I'd give this one a hard pass until a much greater length of time had passed and he'd shown some true maturity and growth.

[HeartGoesOn]

But here's the thing... Everytime I would go over he would try to make advances on me. At first it was sex but once it got through his head he wasn't going to receive any from me he gave up and moved to touching he gave up on that after a while then moved to kissing. Each time I would say no and he wouldn't really respect my decision at all. He would just keep saying you know you want to and I'd have to really dumb down my reasoning so he'd understand.

 

And you're asking us if you should date him?

[j.man]

And you're asking us if you should date him?

Honestly, I think some people are just born to be the dating equivalent of the broken-legged antelope that gets eaten on the Discovery Channel.