How to bring up the "do you want kids" question without seeming too intense?

[Sera1000]

This has become a problem because I've been meeting more guys in real life and just signed up for a speed-dating event. I mostly keep first and second dates light, but if a guy has his heart set on having kids someday I would just be wasting both of our time. Should I just wait until at least a third date? Feeling like I have to bring it up early kind of stresses me out.

Thanks!

[thealchemist]

No kids is a big one. I would probably disclose that on the first real date.

[Sera1000]

Also, suggestions on HOW to bring it up, esp. in a speed dating context, would be appreciated

[superfan]

Honestly I would just straight up say: Full disclosure, I don't want children.

[j.man]

Speed dating seems kinda tailored to blurting out common and significant deal-breakers. Whole concept seems so awkward to me. Honestly, a simple "Sooo... what would you think if a woman you dated didn't want kids?" would probably do fine.

[Seraphim]

Just right out on the very first date, no one on either side of the fence wants their time wasted.

[catfeeder]

In the context of sharing other aspects, such as interests, hobbies, work and career goals, I'd also ask, "What are your family goals for the future?"

[Sportster2005]

In the context of sharing other aspects, such as interests, hobbies, work and career goals, I'd also ask, "What are your family goals for the future?"

 

I agree with this approach. I think it will help ease into the discussion, instead of blurting it out.

[Wiseman2]

That's just an introduction. Wait until a real date to discuss this.

Also, suggestions on HOW to bring it up, esp. in a speed dating context, would be appreciated

[catfeeder]

That's just an introduction. Wait until a real date to discuss this.

 

The whole point of speed meeting is to screen out bad matches, not obfuscate to go on real dates with someone who might BE a bad match.

 

I'd discuss questions that uncover every dealbreaker that I have or that he potentially has. If that ends up amounting to nothing more than and pleasant exchange over coffee, then that's one down, and who knows how many left to go before striking simpatico? Anyone's guess.