Kriskris Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 I'm going to try to make this short so people will actually read it lol. So, I got into a "situationship" with a guy and from the start we both said we didnt want anything. But as much as we tried to make it casual we definitely acted like a couple when together. The last day we really hung out was a day of acting like couples...holding hands.meven the sex was different. Then bam 24 hours later he felt like he needed to come over and talk. So I ended up getting drunk (didn't plan on it) and all my emotions of anger and sadness came out 10 fold...because deep down I think I wanted something. Anyways, he ended up leaving and I don't blame him. The next day he told me what he planned on talking about was how he didn't want a relationship..but I'm just scared he might have wanted to talk about being in a relationship but was scared off from my crying and calling him that night after he left. I swear there was something there and he just ran away. So do you think I scared him off or did he really just want to "be friends we havnt talked in 3 weeks after trying to continue our situation for another week after this happened..but I still think of it. Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 No, I think he was actually coming over to talk about not wanting to be in a relationship. Been in this situation before as the guy, and after meaningful sex/companionship, I didn't want to lead my casual partner on to think it was going to be a relationship. Link to comment
Jillstrand23 Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 He does NOT want a relationship. He just wants to have fun, is that what you want too??? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 So many people make the mistake of thinking because they do "couply" things with their casual, no strings sex partner that means the other person must want a relationship EVEN THOUGH THEY SAID THEY DON'T. One of the two almost always develops feelings, wants more, then starts seeing "signs" that the other person feeling the same way EVEN THOUGH THEY SAID THEY DON'T. Most people enjoy cuddling, great sex, etc. But, he already said he doesn't want a relationship and even came over to reiterate. No, your drunkenness did not make him change from "I want a relationship" to "I don't want a relationship". He already didn't. Best thing to do is end it. It'll hurt too much to keep having sex in the hopes it will change his mind. Link to comment
Kriskris Posted November 7, 2017 Author Share Posted November 7, 2017 Thanks! I honestly am just trying to move on because I think I'm not capable of that kind of situation. I tried it but I honestly felt like it was evolving and was hurt when it ended. Just can't stop fixating on if it was my fault Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 The only mistake you made was thinking you could handle it. You can't. Lots of people can't. Lesson learned, no harm no foul. Link to comment
Jillstrand23 Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Just can't stop fixating on if it was my fault It is NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Don't fixate, try to make yourself happy in the mean time, he might just come back if you act like its not a big deal either way. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 It is NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Don't fixate, try to make yourself happy in the mean time, he might just come back if you act like its not a big deal either way. But if he does come back, realize it will be for the same casual sex situation. Not likely he's going to suddenly want a relationship. Link to comment
Kriskris Posted November 7, 2017 Author Share Posted November 7, 2017 I think about what I would do if he came back. I'm really a great person and think oh he will realize it and come back...but ur right...his mind frame at this point in his life is he does not want a relationship with me or maybe anyone. Link to comment
Jillstrand23 Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 so you have not talked in three weeks? Try to get with friends and keep yourself busy. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 I think about what I would do if he came back. I'm really a great person and think oh he will realize it and come back...but ur right...his mind frame at this point in his life is he does not want a relationship with me or maybe anyone. You are a great person for the guy who DOES want a relationship. Not for one who said he doesn't and who you'd have to try to convince or entice into one. Hold out for the better guy. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Why are you willing to settle for a 'situationship' with anyone? I can only speak for myself, and the one thing I've learned from that kind of messy kid stuff is that I'm relationship material, and I won't involve myself with anyone who isn't clear about wanting the exact same things I want from a relationship. Period. You're learning WHY. Head high, and rethink your standards. Link to comment
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