being led on: mixed signals need advice

[ithappens]

I have posted before. For an update on my situation. I have been broken up with my ex now fow a couple of months. The last time we went out as "friends", she was flirting with me and touching me and all of that. Then I find out she is talking to someone else. Why would she do that with me if she is not interested anymore? Just a question. What do y'all think about that?

[h_b_k_02]

Stringing you alone, depending on how long you were with her.

 

Cut her off. Same things were happening to me and then my ex started "seeing" someone else. I have cut her off. She now calls once in a blue moon but I keep it short and sweet.

 

Don't let them keep you as a 2nd option. If she keeps this mixed signal behaviour up, it will only mess you up more. Withdraw from her life. If she comes crawling back, it becomes your decision, if now, her loss, find someone else b/c cutting her off will allow you to get over her.

[misery12]

It sounds to me, that she just enjoys the sport of flirting, and didn't think much of it, and probably expected that you wouldn't either.

It also seems she has moved on, and if she has, there is no use waiting for her.. Hope this helps.

[Nebular]

Kinda sounds like she's keeping you as her back up. Either that or she feels so pathetic, so desparate to have someone, that she has to flirt with you, in order to feel special. Kinda that "Hey lookit me! I am a flirt! I am flirting...hey boooysss!"

 

Don't go out with her anymore, unless you are ok with her flirting with you and going out with other dudes. It's not really healthy for you though, if you go out with a girl who is flirting with you...and then some other girl who is pretty and might be just perfect for you sees it, she might think you're spoken for.

[ithappens]

we were together for a yr and some. Why do people do this though?

[h_b_k_02]

OK, no offense to anyone, but normally it would be females that do this. Why? Because they know they have you, you aren't going anywhere, so they gifure they can have some fun and if they find someone better in the meantime, good for them. If they don't they will just continue doing this until they finally decide to settle down.

 

Cut her off. Don't even go out with her. Go out with buddies and maybe you'll just meet someone else. Even if she has moved on, perhaps by cutting her off it will show her you don't need her and won't wait, and then if you are lucky, perhaps she will start chasing you again. If not, you're better off.

[DN]

I don't think it is mostly females that do this judging by the posts on here.

 

It is not a kind thing to do whatever the reason is - so why would you want anything to do with someone who is unkind?

[ithappens]

But, what if they dont realize what they are doing and are confused?

[h_b_k_02]

Like I said, cut them off. It might seem to be the hardest thing you'll do, but it actually is just about the easiest.

 

Let them either realize they NEED you in their life or you realize you don't NEED them in your life.

 

I'm at the "I don't need you in my life" stage now. Would I take my ex back? Likely, but it would take a lot of work on her part and I will not sell myself short and allow myself to be her friend. They can't have their cake and eat it too, you know.

[ithappens]

True, I do not miss the relationship so much as I miss our friendship. But I guess true friends would not be that selfish though, right? It is funny how things change isnt it?

[detox5]

hey what is having there cake and eating it, i think ive forgotten but once knew in a previous life lol

[h_b_k_02]

It means they want to try and find someone better but they also feel it is fine with them to keep you in confusion by still talking to you and making subtle flirtatious gestures.

 

Either she wants you or she doesn't. There really is no in between. I believe that when a relationship ends, it ends. There is no point in being friends with the person, it would be too difficult and awkward.