Hannah84 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Hi all, Oooh I don't want the dreadful friendzone! I'm so proud of myself doing 3 months of NC, and last week, when I changed my status quote on skype, he texted me. Beforehand he had reached out 3 times, including asking me to be friends, but I didn't reply. Now, after 3 months I replied.... He said its a nice saying, i said that i like it, thanks. He said: I thought you would never talk to me again. I have been trying to keep our friendship open. I didn't really reply to that, just saying: "I see". Now he just wished me a nice weekend and a nice week... With every reply from my side I waited at least a day. I want to be cool, airy and nonchalant and I think I can do that, as I can live my life without him. And this is the feeling I want to give him. But now... is he just going to wish me a lovely day, every day? As if that's normal? He broke up with me! He started something very very serious with another woman! What does he want? And MORE important, please give me good advise how to avoid being freindzoned!!! Link to comment
abitbroken Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 I would stop replying. I wouldn't have replied the first time and i would have blocked him on Skype. lesson learned. Just do it. He just wants to keep tabs on you - don't let him. he is not a friend. The best way to not be friendzoned is to not be his text buddy. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 It is one thing to be nonchalant in person - you run into him at a convention or a meeting and you don't initiate any conversation but do talk to him when you are required to Being nonchalant over text - people don't hear your tone or body language and ANY reply is seen as positive attention. He may now think he can just text you whenever for his comfort or to ease his guilt (if he is the dumper) that you are doing fine and he didn't hurt you too badly. I would ignore his next comments if he ever texts you again. Complete ignore. If he doesn't stop say "please don't contact me. I am not interest in friendshiP" The only contact you should respond to is "i made a mistake. It was a mistake to let you go. Please give me another chance" Link to comment
rosephase Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 He's told you what he wants. A friendship. You aren't over him, he's dating someone else, you can't offer a friendship at this point. Go back to no contact. Feel free to tell him why. He might be more respectful of your space if you are clear that a friendship is off the table at the moment. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 If you're leaving an opening for him to contact you, you're not in NC, and haven't been all along. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 The day he dumped you, he lost the privilege of your friendship and companionship. Period. You don't play cool, you simply don't waste your time on him. If hope is eating at you, then ask him point blank what he wants. If it's anything other than getting back together, then you tell him it was nice chatting and block his azz for good and stop jerking yourself around with hope and move on for real and for good yourself. He is dead to you. Link to comment
Hannah84 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 If you're leaving an opening for him to contact you, you're not in NC, and haven't been all along. I have been in total NC so far... For 3 months straight. Link to comment
Hannah84 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 At his Facebook wall he seems not happy... he posts all kinds of depressed stuff. Does that make a difference? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 At his Facebook wall he seems not happy... he posts all kinds of depressed stuff. Does that make a difference? No....he discarded you for someone else, remember? Why the heck would you want him back after that? Block him and move on. Link to comment
Hannah84 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 What if he realizes he made a mistake? Link to comment
Iggy5129 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 At his Facebook wall he seems not happy... he posts all kinds of depressed stuff. Does that make a difference? If you can see his Facebook wall you are not NC. Block him everywhere and move on. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 What if he realizes he made a mistake? lol.....sorry, but if he truly loved you he would have never left you or even so much as risk losing you. No, he knew what he was doing and coming back to you would be nothing more than temporarily settling for leftovers he has already discarded once until he sees another bigger better option. How many times do you want to be dumped like that? Come on, there is no happily ever after in this. Besides, is he begging for your forgiveness? Is he crying telling you he made a mistake? Is he pleading for another chance? No. He is just saying how nice that you've finally gotten over him enough to talk again and play friendzies. Yuck. Stop playing into this game. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 What if he realizes he made a mistake? If he is in another relationship that's a moot point Link to comment
abitbroken Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 If you can see his Facebook wall you are not NC. Block him everywhere and move on. agree! And he can see yours! Block him Link to comment
Hannah84 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 No, a mutual friend showed me. We're not fb friends. Link to comment
Hannah84 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 Pff is it really this hopeless.... Link to comment
abitbroken Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 you need to tell your friends not to share updates on him. Pff is it really this hopeless.... If you want him back, then you have to block him. You can't be strung along or kept on the backburner while he is with another woman - or you are only going to be his plan B or someone he cheats with. You are worth more than that. If someday he dumps the other woman he left you for and heals from that relationship, is single for awhile and legitimately wants you back - stranger things have happened. You may find that after more time of not seeing him and not hearing from him you will wonder what you were thinking or why you would ever want him back Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 He has no reason to behave any differently than he is now. He gets to keep the validation of your friendship while pursuing a life without you. More importantly, you don't want to be friends. So don't be. Its up to you to curate the collection of people who have access to you. You don't want a friendship. So don't reply. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 I'd be more wary of f*ck buddy status than friend zone. There's nothing organic about this 'friendship' tread carefully. Link to comment
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