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In supreme pain...need support


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Hi All. My on again and off again ex have not spoken as I have begun NC. I am only on day four but a day ago he "accidentally" face timed me. He never uses that on his phone and the ringing alert stopped a few seconds after it started but it was him and it felt like a stab in the gut.


I know it if foolish but I have a birthday coming up not to mention the holidays an I am so sad...not sure which would be worse him not reaching out (even though I would not be responding) or the alternative.


I guess I am battling with the fact that I am agonizing over the breakup and he may not be. I have journaled and have been trying to allow myself to feel terrible while I grieve but I keep swinging back and forth from anger, to confusion, to sheer pain...and then, at times, hope.


This is agony!!!!

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What if you block his number? Would that help with all this back and forth because YOU took that step and took control of the situation so you aren't waiting on him and wondering will he or won't he, because YOU made sure he can't? Do you think that would be a good step towards giving yourself some peace of mind?

Also, when he is playing fat fingers with his phone, at least it won't rock you like this.

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Thank you, yes I could do that. I just feel not strong enough yet it that makes any sense. I need to just bite the bullet and do it...I just don't feel ready.


Ever gone swimming when the water that is a bit nippy? So much easier when you just plunge in and after that breathtaking moment of cooold, it becomes good and fun. This sort of stuff is like that. The more you dwell on the what if's....the more painful it becomes, but if you just plunge.....it brings relief and then it frees your mind to actually move forward and have fun again.

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The reason to block is BECAUSE you are not strong right now and contact will crumble you. You don't have to be "strong enough" to block....


In fact she is. Because by blocking she is making another move to "move on", and she is not ready to move on.


She probably has underlying feelings for the guy and that's okay.


Lot of people try to be rational about irrational things as love, romance etc.


Rationalism in these situations can make you do things that will catch up with you and destroy your life.

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