Left me for another guy straight after we confessed love

[Comingright]

Hello guys,

 

I'm also new to this site allow me to explain what happened to me after 7 months...

 

I met this woman on Tinder, she was married for 18 years and been divorced for over 3 years. I was the 2nd guy shes ever been with besides her ex husband, she divorced him for abusive reasons etc

 

I'm 35 and shes 38 we both are virgo, she has 3 kids which I got along very well with, the 8 year old kept nagging her all the time when I'm coming to visit again. So basically everything from the time we met just escalated all the time I loved going to her and she wanted me to come spend weekends with her. We never argued about anything we were 'picture perfect' as to say, I met her whole family got invited to her parents house twice for dinner, she was even surprised with her mom how she reacted when she found out I was coming over instructing everyone to clean up here clean up there move this out the way all sorts. So I was feeling on top of the world this woman meant a lot to me and vice versa, was an incredible feeling!

 

But then... During the one week she texted me that one of her 'guy' friends asked how she was doing, and she told him shes seeing someone (me) and got extremely jealous, and wants to see her. That evening I got another text saying that he has proposed to her, meaning we cannot see each other or chat anymore. Clearly I was shocked by this, as she worded it that she accepted! My reaction was to tell her to go get @#$%^&! Then blocked her cos like, hello? Over text? Really?

 

The following morning she phoned me 6 times to be exact, I eventually picked up and she said she made her decision, she wants to be with me rather and please can we meet and chat about it. We met and had coffee, she was balling her eyes out she couldn't stand the thought of losing me cos I mean so much to her and everything we've been through. Again I felt great all over again, we made up and everything went back to normal.

 

During our one intimate evening, I thought the same thing, it had been over 6 months we were together, and I also didnt want to lose her. So I told her that I love her, she gasped and closed her eyes, opened them again and said she loves me too. We both smiled and continued what we were doing Then about a week later, she suggested we move in with each other, so as you can all see this was just falling into place so well. Her sister is a lawyer, and said she will get her to make up a lease agreement just to safe guard both of us in case anything had to happen.

 

Then the unexpected happened that following week, on the Tuesday she 'fell ill' and the doctor prescribed her strong medication and suggests she doesn't see anyone till the prescription was over. I felt bad and told her please if she needs anything please let me know. She said she won't be on her phone as much as she'll be resting, so I left her alone for a few days. That Sunday she updates her whatsapp profile pic of her and this 'guy' friend hugging each other. I said thats a lovely profile pic, and I've been blocked ever since.

 

For 3 days straight I had this pain in my heart that never went away, how on earth like ?? All the visions all the dreams I had of her... I spoke to her mom she never even knew we had 'broken up' and to this day we haven't technically broken up, of course her moms words were that shes a grown woman and is responsible for her own decisions and theres nothing she can do about it. I know she didnt know about it I heard her sister ask if I'm ok in the background. But she will definitely have words with her as she never brought her children up to be like that. At the end of our convo she asked me to please take her number and we will keep in touch, I havent heard nothing from her and not planning to either.

 

A few days ago, I got this message from her on fb - I love u too. But then blocked me straight away. I decided to change my whatsapp number to my work number I never had whatsapp on that number, I sent her a very long detailed message about what she did to me and what I thought about how she went about things... She phoned me 12 minutes later - shes so sorry she hurt me and wants to meet up again and talk about it. I said ok I'll like that I'm away at the moment I'll be back next week cos I wasnt in my city. So I decided to phone her the other day when I got back, and again shes blocked my number on her cell phone!

 

What is she doing why is she doing this? I was doing just fine before I got that - I love you too message. I will not just rock up at her house, in this day and age I'll get called a stalker. I'm not going to go to her mother again, I don't feel its right to involve her family. If she had friends I would go to them but I haven't met any of her friends. I just don't understand her motive about this, send me I love you too then block, phone me up want to meet up then block again. I'm blocked everywhere and will not initiate contact in any form. I have now gone and blocked her numbers too I don't need that nonsense in my life. How cruel and stupid can some people be? I can understand if I did something completely wrong to her like cheat or swear at her or kick the child (example) but I did nothing! This came out of nowhere and honestly did not see this coming. Geez we both in our 30s and shes behaving like this.

 

What do you guys think? Do you think she wanted me to propose? Do you think she really feels guilty about doing what she did and doesn't know how to approach/deal with it? I've spoken to a lot of friends about it too, their only suggestion is - ah just move on there's plenty woman out there. I already know this, but one cannot just flip a switch and ok cool hurt is over everything forgotten etc. I'm a very deep person I get emotionally attached to someone I can't just like ok cool she left me for someone else just like that let me do the same. I was on the road to recovery I really was, till I got that fb message. Does she want me to like, go out on a limb and seriously make a huge amount of effort to plead and want her back? I wish I could understand whats going on in her mind, the best solution as you all will agree is to sit down and talk face to face about it. But I'm blocked again after she suggested we do that. Whatever the outcome is, I'm a better person I know I deserve better than her. I'm also a good looking fellow and I'm not vain by saying this. She's also let this other chap onto her body and from that thought alone I would never take her back.

 

End of the day she was low enough to lie to me than be honest, shows what integrity and morals she has. She screwed up not me, she has to live with it not me. If shes battling for power shes lost

[happyfrank]

She is 38 with a maturity level of a 14 year old.

 

You dodged a lifetime of misery. I feel bad for her fiance.

[reinventmyself]

Considering her flakiness in how she handled this particular situation, it's hard to believe she didn't handle other things in her life with such disregard.

Was there other signs?

[melancholy123]

You did indeed dodge a bullet, this woman is a total flake. She seems to have no idea of what she wants or what she's doing. Block her and delete her from any possible way of contacting you. She is bad news.

[Devriendt10]

Sounds like she has some emotional issues and has no idea what she wants. Run and run far.

[Comingright]

I thought long and hard about your question, no there weren't any signs. In fact everytime we were together her face would light up, she laughed at anything I made funny, everything was 100% she never kept anything from me we spoke about all sorts everyday, to a profile pic being in someone elses arms and block

[Comingright]

And lol, we stay so close to each other I would light a cigarette and by the time I arrive at her place I'm not even halfway through. I have already blocked her on both my phones, I've thrown the towel in there's nothing to fight for. I've deleted her mothers number off my phone too, I cannot block her on fb cos she's blocked me so who knows another message is bound to surface in the near future. I'll be sure to block her if and when that happens

[HeartGoesOn]

I feel sorry for her kids, hopefully they don't follow in her footsteps. All in all, she did you a favor, (imo).

[liverpoolboy]

This women sounds like she has no integrity and is dealing with some emotions issues. I know you won't like hearing this bit it sound like she's been with this other guy all along and has been jumping between you both.

 

You deserve waaaaayyy better than that my friend nobody deserves to be treated like that and it's always the good hearted ones that get f***ed over.

 

I know how you feel I've just come out of a relation with and older lady with kids. You get attached to the kids aswell. It sound like this woman may have some issues from previous relationships she has yet to deal with.

 

You definitely dodged a bullet. Keep you head up best thing to do is separate yourelf from this, focus on you and your goals, do not be an option or potential option of she decideds she's not feeling the other guy in the future. You deserve to be with someone that makes you happy and that wants to be with you. A great book to read is how to be a 3 percent man by Corey Wayne. It helped me so much with my relationship and also helped me understand women more.

 

Hope your doing okay. Focus on yourself and don't accept second best from anyone.

[Comingright]

Thanx there liverpoolboy the way I see this other chap is maybe an old flame or also a failed relationship she once had with him. She could also just have been using me to make her ex husband AND him jealous, and kept tagging him along filling him in with what we were up to till the point where we were about to move in together. There could have definitely been convos going on behind the scenes - if you don't this or don't that then I'm moving in with him, who knows? The way she described this guy to me is that he treats her children bad and cannot be sexually attracted to him. I saw him he's a f*****g dog, clearly he is cos I mean I would for one never interfere with someone else's relationship, two immediately jump into bed with someone where someone was just busy *eeuw* and three get together with a woman knowing that she just did that to someone.

 

I don't think she was seeing him the same time as me, we spent every weekend together, there was no time long enough to have been spending time with him. She was always updating me on how her day was going whats shes making for supper always said good night etc.

 

But yeah I'm walking away from this, I can live a peaceful heart knowing I did nothing wrong and only have good intentions, especially for people I care/d for

[Honeycomb8]

She's a total mess, you are lucky to be rid of her!

[Comingright]

Update # log onto fb this evening there's a profile with her name and surname under suggested friends with no profile picture and no friends. BLOCKED