undertheivy Posted September 22, 2017 Share Posted September 22, 2017 Hi all, I've decided to turn to an online forum for advice on a current friendship issue. I want to say thank you in advance to those who take the time to read about my experience and offer advice. I will try to make it as short as I can. I will start by saying the issue I'm having is with my best friend. I could really say she is my only friend that I regularly talk to and see. I have some childhood friends I've grown up with and I see them occasionally, but I don't have a deep connection with them, and we rarely talk or spend time together. So, the best friend I am currently having issues with has been my best friend for over ten years (since high school). For the past year or so, she has hardly wanted anything to do with me. I see all the time on social media that she is out with other friends and having a great time, but I literally never get an invite. And the very few times we have hung out lately, she doesn't ever post about it on social media or take pictures with me. I don't understand what's happened to our friendship. There are these random times when she will text me and be super sweet and nice and tell me she's proud of my recent career changes, etc, and she will say "I'm sorry I'm such a bad friend, we really need to hang out soon". And then I won't hear back from her and she won't invite me to hang out. Sometimes I feel like she does this to keep me around because theres something for her in it. Ever since I've known her she has been a very selfish person, it's just the way she's always been. She actually backed out from being a bridesmaid in my wedding at last minute.. I've never been able to get over this. (Her ex bf was a groomsmen and I think it made her uncomfortable). I don't tell her it still hurts me when I think about it, but it does. Anyway, that's just one example of many times that she has hurt me. And I've still always stood by her. I don't know what to do anymore. I have been married to my wonderful husband for almost ten years and he is truly my best friend, but I long for a deep, meaningful friendship with other females. It's just my husband and I 24/7, and because we struggle financially we never go out and do things, socialize. His work schedule is kind of hectic too so that doesn't help. I just want to have friends come over and play games, watch movies, have deep conversations and just have fun. I get so sad when I think about how lonely I feel. My husbands sister and I used to be very close as well, for several years we were inseparable. But a few years ago she moved closer to where my husbands ex wife lives (my husband has a child with his ex, and his sister has children so they are all cousins and very close). But my sister in law and my hubby's ex wife are literally best friends and are together every single day. I know it's great for the kids but my sis in law literally has nothing to do with us unless we are at a family function. I've asked her and her boyfriend to come over or go out and do stuff but I get shot down every time. I just don't know what to do anymore. My sis in law and my best friend are two of the main friendships I actually cherished and wanted to last a life time. I feel extremely lonely and I cry when I'm alone and think about it. I've told my husband and he knows how I feel, but I don't like to burden him with it often because I know it makes him sad too and he starts to feel bad and I don't want him thinking it's his fault. I currently started an at home business so I am working from home, so I'm going out way less often than I used to and I think that's making the loneliness worse. I just hate to admit that we really can't afford to go out and do things. It's just so hard right now. I know this is just a rough patch and we'll get through it, I just wish I had a friend to tell all these things to and to just vent and cry. I want to talk to my best friend about all of this and tell her how I'm feeling, but I'm scared of looking desperate and being vulnerable with her. (I guess that kind of says something about the friendship...) I know we're not as close as we used to be but I want to be. I just want to be a friend that others want to spend time with. I don't understand why no one ever texts me or calls me. I'm just scared of being alone forever.. my husband and I don't have any children together, he just has his one child from his ex wife. I've been thinking maybe I just need to get pregnant to have another person in my life that loves me unconditionally. I feel like I sound so freakin pathetic when I read my words back but this is seriously how I feel. I guess what I'm mainly asking advice for is 1) should I tell my best friend and sister in law how I'm feeling? Or just move on and find other friends? Link to comment
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