Bully Boss

[Marshmellow12]

I am a teacher and my principal loves me and thinks I'm amazing. However, my assistant principal who is new this year Is trying to make my life a living hell for some unknown reason. I literally leave work crying and cry all the way to work in the mornings. But here's the thing, she's overly nice to every other teacher on my team. I get along great with everyone else I work with and I do everything that's asked of me and then some. I want to talk to the principal but I'm scared that I will make things worst for myself. Has anyone else been in this situation? Any tips? And anyone know what would make someone a target for this sort of treatment? I just want her to leave me alone.

[j.man]

How does she make you cry?

[ThatwasThen]

Well what are some of the things she's harassing you about?

Are those things unfounded?

Does she ever see you and the principal being buddy/buddy?

You say "you get along great with everyone else" Is this about your work that she's on you about or is it just that you don't get along with her?

Has anyone else commented on how she treats you (witnesses?)

 

We all have a right to go to our human resources department when we are having trouble with a superior. I believe your human resources would be your principal. No?

[journeynow]

Can you focus on your students, the principal, the colleagues you get along with? Let her behavior roll off your back? Unless she's knifing your tires, setting fire to your purse, is setting traps for you, practice letting it go. You don't have to get along with everyone. When you are around her, be sure to be professional.

[Fettsei]

I teach (20 years in). Just do your job and everything takes care of itself. When someone in authority over me doesn't like me, I follow protocol and don't give them anything to hurt me. Focus on the students and be true to yourself. Ignore the garbage from a boss who's lost sight of what matters. The kids.

 

That's our job as teachers. Few can do what we do. No one gets it unless you've been there. Press on.

[catfeeder]

What, specifically, does this person say or do that upsets you?

[Andrina]

Bullies usually look for someone who appears weak in their eyes--someone who will put up with their bull. Maybe if you speak up for yourself, she will see you have a spine. Of course, you say things in a professional manner in a mellow tone. Such as if she is belittling you instead of giving you constructive criticism, tell her that you respond much better to clear directions of what she wants from you, (or however you want to phrase it.) Sometimes you can catch people off guard and change their behavior by changing up how you respond. Why not ask after she criticizes, "Can I ask what you think my strong suits as a teacher are?" If she actually answers with a few positive things, you can say, "Thank you. It's nice to get some positive feedback now and then."

 

When you catch a person like this off guard, they might feel unbalanced and a little more leery of approaching you in the future with their toxic energy. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[lostandhurt]

There is a way to possibly make this better but it cannot be a frontal assault.

 

Sit down with your principal and tell him/her that you have a problem and need some advice on how to make it better. Then explain in the most gracious way possible that you think you have done something to get on the bad side of the vice principal and need advice on how to make the working relationship better between the two of you.

 

This does two things:

 

1. It exposes your problem to the top boss without being a complainer since you are asking for advice on how to fix it on your own.

 

2. The advice your principal gives you and once followed by you puts the principal on your side. See if you follow the advice and it doesn't work then your principal will think it is not you but the vice principals problem things are not going well between the two of you.

 

 

Do not complain about anything the vice principal has done, don't mention crying on the way home or anything. Just be generic in that you seem to have gotten on the bad side of the vice principal.

 

Others probably have already noticed the way you have been treated so it may not be a secret. Who knows it could be a huge misunderstanding or some stupid rumor. The teachers I know tell of a big drama filled rumor mill where some of them have worked.

 

Lost

[Pleasedonot5]

You should not be going above your boss. The principal, however nice to you, will stand up for the assistant principal, and this will make you look unprofessional.

 

I instead recommend strategies to improve your rapport with the assistant principal, or sticking it out while looking for another job.

 

Regarding the former strategy, is there a particular reason you can identify as to why you two do not get along? Is she interfering with your domain, are you insisting on doing things your way, are there rules and regulations that she says, that you do not like? Figuring out why the problem exists is probably the first step in resolving it.

 

I'm really sorry you're going through this by the way. Work fulfillment is key to our happiness, so understandably this is a tough time for you. Rooting for you!