SethSLC Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 This past Sunday my GF of almost 2 years came to me crying and told me she needed a break. She needed some time and space to work on herself and her anxiety. She has been diagnosed for 2 years now with General Anxiety Disorder. She's not on any meds right now, but she's been seeing a therapist that she likes a lot for about 2 months. I accepted it calmly for the most part, though I told her I felt like this was the wrong decision but it was her right to make that decision. I wiped her tears away and smiled and she left. That's the short version... For the entire relationship we never really fought. We were basically that stereotypical couple that everyone points to and says is happy in love. But over that time I forgot about her anxiety. It was never directed at me so I was never reminded. In all that time she had only had a couple of major breakdowns over school stress. I think she was keeping it inside because she was afraid to show me. There were times where I know that I triggered it without even thinking about it though. Like when she stopped being so happy and bubbly the first thing when she came over to see me. I took that as a sign she wasn't as into me and it caused me to tell her that I felt like that. I never once thought that her anxiety is a daily battle that can make her tired because she's always tense. Combine that with a long work + school day schedule and us hanging out every night together she would stay up later than she should to be with me. She would always ask if I was happy with her and I would tell her all the time that I was, because I truly truly was. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and I had been getting worried about her graduating next spring from college and possibly moving. We still didn't know if we would stay together or move together and I didn't want to lose her so I asked her if she could see this relationship as a long term almost forever type relationship. At first she didn't know, but after a little while she said yes she could. That calmed my worry for a bit but I never realized that that was probably sending her into a massive panic. She has mentioned she still doesn't know what she wants to do after graduation. I'm certain that panics her. So then a few days ago on Friday we were hanging out and after a night out together alone (had the best of times) I brought up the same conversation stupidly. This time marriage was used, but she seemed ok and even talked about the type of wedding we "might" have someday. I went out of town the next day for the night for a school related thing. I came back at 5am Sunday and crashed. When I woke up she said she needed to come over. Thats when we broke up. She said she needed to work on herself. That she didn't know what she was going to do with her life. That her head told her she loved me but her heart didn't. I think that was her anxiety masking her feelings. I know that that disorder often can convince them that they don't love their partner. So I gave her some space. I spent the next 8 hours re-reading all the information she gave me at the start of the relationship on her anxiety. And many other sources of course. The next afternoon I sent her a short message telling her I was sorry for not realizing just how much I was stressing her out without remembering that she had anxiety. I told her that I still loved her. That I had promised her many, many times I would never leave her unless she cheated and I meant it so I was still here. I said I'd be there when / if she was ready to talk. She thanked me and said she loved me. She will always love me. That she needed space and time to figure out why she gets anxiety over every little thing. Then said she will never be able to tell me how grateful she is for all I taught her. She apologized for not letting me help her. For putting her anxiety onto me. I told her I never felt her anxiety on me. That was part of the problem. She said that was just another one of her insecurities. The end... I love this girl. I made a mistake by not being always aware of her anxiety disorder. That I knew she had it from the start and I so quickly forgot it. I read up on it from the start so I knew what I was getting into. She really is one of the best matches I've ever had. Thoughts? Seth Link to comment
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