Heartbroken.. Seeking advice to help me move on?

[Helpmesavethis]

I have tons of friends. I choose to only tell/talk about it to my 2 best friends and a woman I work with. My family is here however, totally not supportive. My mom is hard core. Can't believe I'm still upset about it.. um, it's only been 2 weeks. My dad can't believe I'm crying over some guy period.. I'm 37 by the way... Ha. My sister is about the same as my mom.. so my friends it is. They're great. I couldn't ask for better. So is the woman at work. She only knows because I've been so upset and our offices are right by each other. Then his and my mutual friend that messaged me last night. She's pissed at him and wants to kick him in the balls she said. Haha. I told her I don't hate him or anything. And I don't. If I did, maybe I could get thru this easier... He's really not a bad guy.. just has emotional issues from his past....

[Helpmesavethis]

But it helps the most to talk to people about it who are going thru the very same thing... You understand me right now. Not that they don't as we've all had heartbreaks but when you're in a happy relationship, you don't want to listen to Debbie Downer all the time.

[Helpmesavethis]

I'm home alone tonight so way too much time to think.... But He's Just Not That Into You is getting ready to come on... I think I'll watch it... Haha.

[Schockobaerin]

In my case, the first break up I went to my country and my family saw me CRY a lot, so now they are like, "you knew what you were getting into, your fault" mode, I was/am depressed and they know this, but I try to hide it, because they HATE my exbf for doing this to me, and they are a little stung at me because I let him do this to me, so if I ever am getting back with him, Im going to have a problem with my family, anyway they cannot believe i want him back... I talked with a lot of friends and only one common friend (he is very angry at him, because he thinks my exbf is an idiot for letting go of a girl like me), my friends are very upset at him, and have been amazing, but (understandbly) are getting tired of "Debbie Downer the depression girl", My exbf hated it when I talked about us, I just dont give a fig, my/our friends dont meddle btw us anyway and give good advice, the difference btw him and me, is that I take the advice and make the decision, he once took the advice and broke up with me (he himself recognized it was a big mistake), anyway he broke my heart again, and again Im crying and everybody is tired of my moaning and pity party and the stupidity of my exbf. People who went through this understands more, others just tell me: "you are soo good for him" "you have to get over him, asap".. Why do you think Im here? I hope some friend of my ex is going to tell him, you are a moron, but I dont think so anyway Im just tired of this stuff, but they seem to understand that Im depressed and are helping me, giving advice and kicking my ass when necessary.. He was the one who wrote to a friend of mine telling her that we are not a couple anymore, but that we have a good relationship and that makes him happy, that he wanted to keep in touch with her. My friend went nuts, and after telling him, diplomatically answered, that she knew about it, that it was sad, that I am VERY SAD, and that she recommend him to back off me for months because he is hurting me, that she is sorry, but that I am HER FRIEND, that she doesnt have a problem keeping in touch anyway.. He answered that he understands and that we agreed to NC for a couple of months anyway.. I know why he wants to keep in touch with her, she lives in Catalunya and he wants to travel down there and probably have a free tourist guide..mmmmm I was very angry at him, but took the high way and didnt contact him.. Remember what comes around goes around... but was he thinking about?

[Schockobaerin]

I'm home alone tonight so way too much time to think.... But He's Just Not That Into You is getting ready to come on... I think I'll watch it... Haha.

 

Noo that film doesnt apply to us, because that is at the beginning of dating, i recommend 500 days of summer, begin again and legally blonde

[Helpmesavethis]

Noo that film doesnt apply to us, because that is at the beginning of dating, i recommend 500 days of summer, begin again and legally blonde

 

I'm currently watching Legally Blonde!!! Hahaha I love this movie.

[Helpmesavethis]

And I want to say kudos to your friend that he messaged for sticking up for you like she did. I would do the same for my friend's. I understand about family. Mine has been the same in the past, but have technically always supported (really just dealt with?!?) Any decisions I chose to make.

[Schockobaerin]

My friend is awesome, and she had a lot of problems with her bf as well, he cheated on her, and came back one month later, I know my exbf is very fond of her, and he despises her bf because of what he did to her... Now her bf is pissed with my exbf because he is writing to my friend and because he is a stupid prat that broke my heart.. What my exbf does not seem to understand is that he is doing the same to me, maybe he didnt cheat directly, but let his exgf come btw us again, and decided not to fight for me (like my friends bf=... I hope one day my exbf is going to realize what he is doing and losing... Our friend(he is a guy) he told me that only for the sex for sure he is going to miss me, that it will be very difficult for him to find someone like me, that he is sooo dumb, but that i can do better. Dont worry he is not going to call me for a booty call, he knows I dont do that.. By the way Im 34 and my childish exbf is 35 going in 15, the exgf is 41 and she is going on 13(like a petty teenager). I kind of understand my family, Im pathetic, really.. This is like a highschool romance so immature.. Mean girls all over again hahaha

[Mandala]

Oh dear, I am so sorry. I understand what you are saying. When I met mine he was breaking up with his ex too and they were leaving together on and off. Before anything started with me, to show me that he was serious, he broke up with her, got his own apartment and bought furniture in natural wood, because he knew that's the style I like. He even wanted to know my favorite colors to buy the curtains in that way. He had bought some a couple of days earlier and when I told him I wasn't a fan of them he threw them in the trash!

Just to tell you how crazy he was for me...

I also find asking myself if they could possibly be back together... but it might be just one of my crazy theories.

 

Don't think that he's necessarily having the time of his life. People that are so confused are usually very troubled inside, they don't find peace easily. We might feel we are nuts now, but for us is just a bad time, it will go away. They, on the other hand, are stuck and will have to live with themselves forever.

[glitterfingers]

Hey OP, I haven't really gone through and read the other responses as I can see most of it comes from two perspectives and the general idea I'm getting is you've decided to let this guy go. I just wanted to chime in and offer a different perspective, but obviously, you do what's right for you and take anything I say with a grain of salt.

 

Personally? I don't think this is as big of a deal as you think it is. It hurts, sure. But he didn't break things off with you citing incompatibility, lack of attraction/feelings, lack of interest in pursuing a relationship. He was very honest with you about his reasons: he's getting the jitters. But here's the thing. A lot of people get that when they sense a relationship has the potential to get serious. Since most of us flit around through so many different relationships when we're dating, getting our heart broken and having to hurt people who we don't feel 'enough' for, it IS scary when you find someone that actually fits the bill. It makes you second guess yourself and wonder if you're walking into a trap. You've been hurt so many times before, you've had so many failed attempts at finding the right person, you KNOW most relationships fail, so why should this one last? And what if you do the wrong thing or the person gets to know you once you truly let your guard down and you get irreparably hurt because you actually decided to be vulnerable for once?

 

No, maybe it doesn't feel fair to you that he seems to have gotten 'cold feet'. But if you can get past the attack on your ego/personality for a moment and look at what he's actually saying - it's not that he doesn't think you're right for him. It's that he does, and he doesn't have the capacity to deal with that right now.

 

The other thing, you say this was a fairytale relationship. That's probably putting him off a bit too. If it's ~that~ perfect, it could go just as equally wrong. You know, the higher the climb, the harder the fall? Maybe he is genuinely scared because he knows he's not as perfect as this relationship has set him up to appear in your mind (nobody is that perfect, let's be honest). And he's worried that once you see the real him, you're going to change your mind.

 

He was honest with you, and you should look at things from his perspective rather than take this personally.

 

You have two options. You can do what most people would do and take this as a personal affront that you weren't enough for him, that there was something wrong with you or the relationship and that this was all an illusion that has to end.

 

Or you could put your own fears of rejection aside for a minute and see if there's still something there that he wants to work with. Obviously, in 99% of cases, if someone breaks things off with you, tries to friendzone you etc, it's because they're not truly interested. But this situation feels different. Were I in your position, I'd probably grab the bulls by the horn and get back in touch with him. Tell him you are scared too (because you are) but that you truly feel a connection with him and you want him in your life. Ask him if he feels that way. This will be difficult for you because there is the risk that you will be hurt, but there's a greater risk here which is letting someone go because they flaked when things started feeling serious. Nobody's perfect, and being in that position of appearing to be perfect can be frightening because of how much you'll let down the person's expectations - this looks like what is happening here

 

I guess you need to decide whether your ego is strong enough to handle the possible rejection. If it is, I'd be trying to see him and talk with him. Let him voice his fears, don't take them personally, just acknowledge that they are there. And if you feel strong enough, suggest a solution and that you continue seeing each other. If that's what you want.

[Helpmesavethis]

Hey OP, I haven't really gone through and read the other responses as I can see most of it comes from two perspectives and the general idea I'm getting is you've decided to let this guy go. I just wanted to chime in and offer a different perspective, but obviously, you do what's right for you and take anything I say with a grain of salt.

 

Personally? I don't think this is as big of a deal as you think it is. It hurts, sure. But he didn't break things off with you citing incompatibility, lack of attraction/feelings, lack of interest in pursuing a relationship. He was very honest with you about his reasons: he's getting the jitters. But here's the thing. A lot of people get that when they sense a relationship has the potential to get serious. Since most of us flit around through so many different relationships when we're dating, getting our heart broken and having to hurt people who we don't feel 'enough' for, it IS scary when you find someone that actually fits the bill. It makes you second guess yourself and wonder if you're walking into a trap. You've been hurt so many times before, you've had so many failed attempts at finding the right person, you KNOW most relationships fail, so why should this one last? And what if you do the wrong thing or the person gets to know you once you truly let your guard down and you get irreparably hurt because you actually decided to be vulnerable for once?

 

No, maybe it doesn't feel fair to you that he seems to have gotten 'cold feet'. But if you can get past the attack on your ego/personality for a moment and look at what he's actually saying - it's not that he doesn't think you're right for him. It's that he does, and he doesn't have the capacity to deal with that right now.

 

The other thing, you say this was a fairytale relationship. That's probably putting him off a bit too. If it's ~that~ perfect, it could go just as equally wrong. You know, the higher the climb, the harder the fall? Maybe he is genuinely scared because he knows he's not as perfect as this relationship has set him up to appear in your mind (nobody is that perfect, let's be honest). And he's worried that once you see the real him, you're going to change your mind.

 

He was honest with you, and you should look at things from his perspective rather than take this personally.

 

You have two options. You can do what most people would do and take this as a personal affront that you weren't enough for him, that there was something wrong with you or the relationship and that this was all an illusion that has to end.

 

Or you could put your own fears of rejection aside for a minute and see if there's still something there that he wants to work with. Obviously, in 99% of cases, if someone breaks things off with you, tries to friendzone you etc, it's because they're not truly interested. But this situation feels different. Were I in your position, I'd probably grab the bulls by the horn and get back in touch with him. Tell him you are scared too (because you are) but that you truly feel a connection with him and you want him in your life. Ask him if he feels that way. This will be difficult for you because there is the risk that you will be hurt, but there's a greater risk here which is letting someone go because they flaked when things started feeling serious. Nobody's perfect, and being in that position of appearing to be perfect can be frightening because of how much you'll let down the person's expectations - this looks like what is happening here

 

I guess you need to decide whether your ego is strong enough to handle the possible rejection. If it is, I'd be trying to see him and talk with him. Let him voice his fears, don't take them personally, just acknowledge that they are there. And if you feel strong enough, suggest a solution and that you continue seeing each other. If that's what you want.

 

I want this so much to be the truth behind it. But. I text him the very next day saying I missed him and hoped he had a good day. He replied right away saying he did thanks and hoped I did as well. So that's #1 me reaching out to him. #2, I mailed him some flyers for an event he's having.. he hasn't responded to that at all. So those 2 attempts I felt like backfire???? So what? I'm going to pm you what I wrote to him but haven't sent for your opinion...

[Schockobaerin]

Oh dear, I am so sorry. I understand what you are saying. When I met mine he was breaking up with his ex too and they were leaving together on and off. Before anything started with me, to show me that he was serious, he broke up with her, got his own apartment and bought furniture in natural wood, because he knew that's the style I like. He even wanted to know my favorite colors to buy the curtains in that way. He had bought some a couple of days earlier and when I told him I wasn't a fan of them he threw them in the trash!

Just to tell you how crazy he was for me...

I also find asking myself if they could possibly be back together... but it might be just one of my crazy theories.

 

Don't think that he's necessarily having the time of his life. People that are so confused are usually very troubled inside, they don't find peace easily. We might feel we are nuts now, but for us is just a bad time, it will go away. They, on the other hand, are stuck and will have to live with themselves forever.

 

Since yesterday night I miss him terribly, Im feeling the dagger in my heart, today is exactly 4 weeks and 1 week NC, this is very hard, I hope he is really not having it easy, when he caused too much pain to me, I know it sounds horrible and inmature from me, and that I should be responsible for my suffering and have a better attitude, but this hurt so much....I just want him to miss me as well, but anyway its clear for me that I cannot force anyone to love me or to be with me, I should want the best for him, and I do.. I think this nonsense its because im so hurt, I just want the pain to go away.. Sorry my rant, but hate feeling like this. Im normally someone who is very positive and sunny, now Im just depressed and know its in my hands to get better, I must be the source of my happiness not someone else, but this a lesson Im having trouble learning.. Sorry for my rant

[Helpmesavethis]

Well ladies... At the advice of Glitterfingers, I broke NC... I sent him a message on Facebook... He read it about 6 hours ago and has not responded.... I feel a little better though I guess having sent it.. at least he knows how I feel and where I stand. I haven't cried at all today. This will just confirm for me if I need to move on or try... Either way, I had to do something before I went crazy.. In the past I would have felt dumb or stupid for reaching out to him but I don't at all... More like relieved either way of the outcome... Time will tell I guess but I hope I can keep this mindset up and either make it work with him or move on with my life without him. I can't keep going on like I have been.....

[Schockobaerin]

Well ladies... At the advice of Glitterfingers, I broke NC... I sent him a message on Facebook... He read it about 6 hours ago and has not responded.... I feel a little better though I guess having sent it.. at least he knows how I feel and where I stand. I haven't cried at all today. This will just confirm for me if I need to move on or try... Either way, I had to do something before I went crazy.. In the past I would have felt dumb or stupid for reaching out to him but I don't at all... More like relieved either way of the outcome... Time will tell I guess but I hope I can keep this mindset up and either make it work with him or move on with my life without him. I can't keep going on like I have been.....

 

I understand you, I had those bouts in both breakups, specially in the first, you talk to him and it doesnt matter if he doesnt answer at first, and you feel relieved. But be careful, because in my case sometimes he answered, sometimes he took his sweet time and messed up with me, at the end we came back together only for him to dump me again, I thought exactly like Glitterfingers, but sadly when the dumper needs space you have to dissapear to really show him what he is missing, that was my mistake the first time around. Please its not about your EGO is about HIS, writing him and seeking for him after he dumped you only strokes his ego and then he doesnt miss you, I answered his call last weekend, now he feels better and i feel like crap. At least you let out your feelings out of your chest and feel relieved, but try to not contact him anymore, I know it hurts (Im hurting as well because of this) But sometimes I think if I would have listened to my friends at the time of the first breakup and didnt practically force him to come back (he wanted more time, I told him 5 months was enough, that I was ready to let go) then maybe I wouldnt be in this possition now. My biggest mistake was not to get over him the first time and have hope, I still have it, and it kills me to still have it, but now im more broken than before and depressed(very). Im struggling and dont want anyone to feel like Im feeling now, hence my words.

[Helpmesavethis]

I understand you, I had those bouts in both breakups, specially in the first, you talk to him and it doesnt matter if he doesnt answer at first, and you feel relieved. But be careful, because in my case sometimes he answered, sometimes he took his sweet time and messed up with me, at the end we came back together only for him to dump me again, I thought exactly like Glitterfingers, but sadly when the dumper needs space you have to dissapear to really show him what he is missing, that was my mistake the first time around. Please its not about your EGO is about HIS, writing him and seeking for him after he dumped you only strokes his ego and then he doesnt miss you, I answered his call last weekend, now he feels better and i feel like crap. At least you let out your feelings out of your chest and feel relieved, but try to not contact him anymore, I know it hurts (Im hurting as well because of this) But sometimes I think if I would have listened to my friends at the time of the first breakup and didnt practically force him to come back (he wanted more time, I told him 5 months was enough, that I was ready to let go) then maybe I wouldnt be in this possition now. My biggest mistake was not to get over him the first time and have hope, I still have it, and it kills me to still have it, but now im more broken than before and depressed(very). Im struggling and dont want anyone to feel like Im feeling now, hence my words.

 

Trust me... I worry myself to death about all of what you said. I think what makes me feel better is that at least he knows how I feel no matter how he does... It either opened the door for us or closed it for me. I'm taking his no response as it's closed... He should have gotten off work 2 hours ago and I felt like he would respond and hasn't... His way of not addressing things with people is to just ignore them and that's what I feel is being done... Like if someone makes a comment on his Facebook, he just won't respond if he doesn't want to let them ride his horse or agree with what they say etc... I on the other hand am a responder no matter what. I may not tell you what you want to hear but I think it's being the bigger person than to just ignore someone. His lack of response is beginning to make me mad and I think that's good for me. Technically, I'm not going to say he dumped me... He kept telling me he didn't know what to do so I was the one who ultimately said we needed to stop seeing each other if he was unsure... He said he understood and respected that so?!?! Not sure if that's counted as mutual or me dumping him or what but that's how it happened... I also started out my message to him telling him I was swallowing my pride, setting aside my ego, chancing more heartbreak/rejection, and losing face... But I couldn't just let something go that could be.... Was it the right thing to do?!?! Who knows. At this point, I'm a little numb I guess. I'm still not crying... I feel different but I'm not sure how to explain it. Not good, just different... It sucks regardless.. Sorry I don't have a lot of encouraging words for you except to maybe try to get mad at him...

[Schockobaerin]

Trust me... I worry myself to death about all of what you said. I think what makes me feel better is that at least he knows how I feel no matter how he does... It either opened the door for us or closed it for me. I'm taking his no response as it's closed... He should have gotten off work 2 hours ago and I felt like he would respond and hasn't... His way of not addressing things with people is to just ignore them and that's what I feel is being done... Like if someone makes a comment on his Facebook, he just won't respond if he doesn't want to let them ride his horse or agree with what they say etc... I on the other hand am a responder no matter what. I may not tell you what you want to hear but I think it's being the bigger person than to just ignore someone. His lack of response is beginning to make me mad and I think that's good for me. Technically, I'm not going to say he dumped me... He kept telling me he didn't know what to do so I was the one who ultimately said we needed to stop seeing each other if he was unsure... He said he understood and respected that so?!?! Not sure if that's counted as mutual or me dumping him or what but that's how it happened... I also started out my message to him telling him I was swallowing my pride, setting aside my ego, chancing more heartbreak/rejection, and losing face... But I couldn't just let something go that could be.... Was it the right thing to do?!?! Who knows. At this point, I'm a little numb I guess. I'm still not crying... I feel different but I'm not sure how to explain it. Not good, just different... It sucks regardless.. Sorry I don't have a lot of encouraging words for you except to maybe try to get mad at him...

 

Look, it was ok what you did, you let it out, but BE CAREFUL with the "breadcrumbs", because thats the other thing, they keep breadcrumbing you, so let you as a "backup plan", If you dont see direct approach from him, dont show more, show him that you dont care anymore, it doesnt matter if you are destroyed on the inside, let him chase you. About me, I have done everything, being mad at him, wanting revenge, but the reality is that he is a good man, he really cares or "love " me a lot, but because of his past breakup and unfinished issues/feelings for ex he just cannot not love properly right now. He told me this long time ago, he NEEDS to be alone, to live single life and to live what we are doing now: the grieving, he is very afraid to get hurt and he is emotional unaviable, so this made him very selfish, he was never mean to me, and its true, we broke up in "good terms". Im just mad because I gave more and maybe that was the problem, he is not ready and was overwhelmed with all this, and decided for me that its better to let me go. What does he want to do? Come back to his ex?(I really hope not, but its a possibility), really to be alone and sort his issues? Im sure he took me from granted and thats the reason NOW I must dissapear and told him so, so he can see if he really appreciates me or not. He is just protecting himself, and didnt think about my feelings, but his. Last saturday and we chatted with my friend he sounded "relieved" because he doesnt want the responsability of hurting me.. I need to get over him, so I can to valuate me more, to learn that my happiness doesnt come from him but from myself, and then maybe in a future we could give it another try, but this has to be decided in a looongg future, we must blossom ourselves and he must find his path and heal, me too. My biggest wish is that he finally realizes this and choose to fight for me, but this is a only a possibility, and for this he must really miss me, and if we are talking every 2 weeks, well that is never going to happen.

Im just so surprised this is so hard for me, and he is probably ok and relieved or like you have said as he is troubled he is not probably at peace with himself. I know when I was in Colombia he missed me a lot, but was fighting a depression and I was messaging him regularly and when he called I always answered, when I came back to Sweden I was the one who looked for him and you heard the rest. He was happy because I could see it, but as Im looking for a job and began getting stressed he didnt want the responsability and exgf is still there messing with him (and he letting her do so). This is a very sad situation because I think we made a wonderful couple/team, but if he doesnt think/feel the same and/or took me for granted, is a pity and a big lose, I see it now he doesnt still, I hope he is going to see it, but it can be that as "perfect" as I could be, he is just looking "for someone else", who knows..

Therefore dont let him fool you with breadcrumbs, play the game and try to get over him, if he comes back, without being so harsh of course, but make him show you his appreciation.

I hope my exbf one day is going to regret to let someone like me go, thats all I want, but for this, he needs to see what is life without me, and that takes a looongg time. Do the same for yourself. You and I, we are being brave and grieving the loss, it sucks now, but its going to get better, and this lesson is going to make us grow.

Now thanks to you I feel better Thank you very much

[Helpmesavethis]

Look, it was ok what you did, you let it out, but BE CAREFUL with the "breadcrumbs", because thats the other thing, they keep breadcrumbing you, so let you as a "backup plan", If you dont see direct approach from him, dont show more, show him that you dont care anymore, it doesnt matter if you are destroyed on the inside, let him chase you. About me, I have done everything, being mad at him, wanting revenge, but the reality is that he is a good man, he really cares or "love " me a lot, but because of his past breakup and unfinished issues/feelings for ex he just cannot not love properly right now. He told me this long time ago, he NEEDS to be alone, to live single life and to live what we are doing now: the grieving, he is very afraid to get hurt and he is emotional unaviable, so this made him very selfish, he was never mean to me, and its true, we broke up in "good terms". Im just mad because I gave more and maybe that was the problem, he is not ready and was overwhelmed with all this, and decided for me that its better to let me go. What does he want to do? Come back to his ex?(I really hope not, but its a possibility), really to be alone and sort his issues? Im sure he took me from granted and thats the reason NOW I must dissapear and told him so, so he can see if he really appreciates me or not. He is just protecting himself, and didnt think about my feelings, but his. Last saturday and we chatted with my friend he sounded "relieved" because he doesnt want the responsability of hurting me.. I need to get over him, so I can to valuate me more, to learn that my happiness doesnt come from him but from myself, and then maybe in a future we could give it another try, but this has to be decided in a looongg future, we must blossom ourselves and he must find his path and heal, me too. My biggest wish is that he finally realizes this and choose to fight for me, but this is a only a possibility, and for this he must really miss me, and if we are talking every 2 weeks, well that is never going to happen.

Im just so surprised this is so hard for me, and he is probably ok and relieved or like you have said as he is troubled he is not probably at peace with himself. I know when I was in Colombia he missed me a lot, but was fighting a depression and I was messaging him regularly and when he called I always answered, when I came back to Sweden I was the one who looked for him and you heard the rest. He was happy because I could see it, but as Im looking for a job and began getting stressed he didnt want the responsability and exgf is still there messing with him (and he letting her do so). This is a very sad situation because I think we made a wonderful couple/team, but if he doesnt think/feel the same and/or took me for granted, is a pity and a big lose, I see it now he doesnt still, I hope he is going to see it, but it can be that as "perfect" as I could be, he is just looking "for someone else", who knows..

Therefore dont let him fool you with breadcrumbs, play the game and try to get over him, if he comes back, without being so harsh of course, but make him show you his appreciation.

I hope my exbf one day is going to regret to let someone like me go, thats all I want, but for this, he needs to see what is life without me, and that takes a looongg time. Do the same for yourself. You and I, we are being brave and grieving the loss, it sucks now, but its going to get better, and this lesson is going to make us grow.

Now thanks to you I feel better Thank you very much

 

I'll be careful but I don't feel like at this point there's going to be anything to be careful over. I thought he would realize how good I was or how much he missed me or that his mind was being dumb... But he never reached out to me and isn't responding so... I have to make myself get over it and move on.

 

I'm glad you feel better getting it out. We will all grow and if these guys aren't the ones for us, there are some out there who are.

[Schockobaerin]

I'll be careful but I don't feel like at this point there's going to be anything to be careful over. I thought he would realize how good I was or how much he missed me or that his mind was being dumb... But he never reached out to me and isn't responding so... I have to make myself get over it and move on.

 

I'm glad you feel better getting it out. We will all grow and if these guys aren't the ones for us, there are some out there who are.

 

For him to properly miss you it has to be at least 3 weeks of NC and you must dissapear, there is a ton of post on forums when the men realize/miss their exgf and almost all said 3 months, 1-2 weeks is not enough, thats the reason we must stop begging, I could see it with him, and his exgf he began to miss the witch 3 months, and he missed me a lot in the 5 months we were apart, but we were always in contact, now we are in strict NC. There is a "myth" that say men always come back, the problem is when they come back the gf is the one who doesnt want anything more with him...Is a myth, but a lot of people has lived it anyway... For me, this is a looongg work, but I must get better and you as well

[Helpmesavethis]

For him to properly miss you it has to be at least 3 weeks of NC and you must dissapear, there is a ton of post on forums when the men realize/miss their exgf and almost all said 3 months, 1-2 weeks is not enough, thats the reason we must stop begging, I could see it with him, and his exgf he began to miss the witch 3 months, and he missed me a lot in the 5 months we were apart, but we were always in contact, now we are in strict NC. There is a "myth" that say men always come back, the problem is when they come back the gf is the one who doesnt want anything more with him...Is a myth, but a lot of people has lived it anyway... For me, this is a looongg work, but I must get better and you as well

 

I totally get what you're saying but how on Earth can I miss him so much and him not me at all..... I'll never understand how people go from one extreme to the other and toy with people's feelings like this.

[Woah93]

[video=youtube;WlkncEP_dI4] ]

 

As a guy in this situation this song pretty much sums up how I am feeling at the moment...

[Helpmesavethis]

[video=youtube;WlkncEP_dI4] ]

 

As a guy in this situation this song pretty much sums up how I am feeling at the moment...

 

Awe... Hugs to you. I'm sorry you're feeling down after having some good progress. I'm going with once you're over the flu and feeling better physically, you'll get back to healing as you were. I'm at home alone this weekend. I've had lots of time to think things over, cry it out etc... It's honestly really helped me. So if you need to cry, cry, yell, scream, vent here. Whatever it is you feel you need to do, do it...

[Woah93]

Yeah I don't have any tears in me, I wish I could, it does feel good to cry it out, but I can't...

I'm stuck to watching Tom Hanks movies at the moment

[Helpmesavethis]

Yeah I don't have any tears in me, I wish I could, it does feel good to cry it out, but I can't...

I'm stuck to watching Tom Hanks movies at the moment

 

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm cried out as well..... I watched a few chick flicks last night but tonight I'm trying to stick with comedy... Why keep depressing myself even more....

[Schockobaerin]

This grieving is like a hurricane, when you feel the tears are drying out is because you are exactly in the eye of it, then they are coming again, not with the same force, but they come again to clean your soul and heal your heart. We have to grieve properly to heal, dont be ashamed to feel like this and everyone takes different time to heal. I as a very sensible person, will take probably longer, because Im a hopeless romantic, and the fact that we were rejected makes it more difficult to bear, but we are not the first or the last ones to have this "disease", and nobody is going to die for love. Bless you all and thank you for this space that help us to heal and to vent out our sorrows...

[Helpmesavethis]

I'm just numb at this point I guess. I don't even know what I'm feeling. I'm not crying but I'm depressed for sure.... I made myself get up and take a shower at NOON.. Then I got out for a few hours to run some errands... Otherwise my butt has been on the couch all day... I have a birthday party I have to go to tomorrow that I'm dreading because I don't want to get out.... I'll also get my daughter back which that helps.... His lack of response to me today makes me angry because I can't believe he would just ignore me... But then again, tells me what kind of person he is and where I stand (don't) in his life....