sexual healing

[sisterlynch]

I guess this is a question for the guys. My husband is in sales and is in his mid 30's. Lately he has been complaining that the skin on his penis gets sore from having sex. He told me that he needs more time in-between episodes to allow the skin to feel better.

 

At first there was like a red bump on the side, now that is gone. He is still not initiating sex. Last night, I got into a bit of a rage, because he was seeming like another night that he wasnt going to be interested.

 

He then said that my rage was turning him off.

 

I went to try and calm down, then came back and he was reading the newspaper...he said very casually, that he was interested.

 

Then we had sex, but it was like I was begging for it. It wasnt terribly passionate.

 

Any advice or comments?

[Beec]

Pressuring him to get sex? I don't think that's going to work very often, and I would not blame him for being turned off. How far would he get if he threw a tantrum to get sex from you?

 

If you want it, them work on making him want it too.

 

As far as needing healing, maybe he does. Try using more lube so he does not get rubbed raw. Maybe you need to make some sessions quicker too. The little bottles of KY get my recommendation.

[RayKay]

Contrary to popular belief, there ARE times a guy might not be as "into it" due to stress, fatigue, emotional frustration and yes - health!

 

I would say getting angry at him for not wanting sex will have the opposite effect of what you desire - I know personally if someone gets angry at me if I am not feeling up to doing something (not just sex) I will get very upset that they are not understanding or listening to my needs either yet demanding theirs be fulfilled.

 

And maybe the friction is bothering him, or maybe he even has a yeast infection or almost "carpet burn" - try more lube and a doctor if it does not clear up.

[Cecelius]

Can you imagine the outrage on the board if a man flew into a rage because his woman wouldn't put out?

 

Yes, sometimes men aren't into it that much. That's what foreplay is for (sit on the lap, wriggle around, whatever -- you're the one who wants something, you gotta make him want it).

[Sn0man]

Yeah, sometimes us guys can get pretty damn sore for gratuitous sexual episodes/marathons. Occasionally we get either friction burn or small tears on the skin, which can make sex very painfull no matter how much we want it. Having more sex after it's already sore just makes it worse. I got so bad once I couldn't have sex for two weeks..and every time I 'fell off the wagon' so to speak, it just made it longer before I could do it again. So if you're asking why he might get angry I would have to say "sexual frustration" from not being able to have sex when you want to because it hurts too darn much.

 

Hope that answers your question.

[annie24]

Well - 2 things. #1 - you two should use more lube. and #2 - like the others said, a rage won't get you anywhere. I think he'd be more in the mood if you said something like, "oh - I'm sorry you had a long day. You've been working so hard lately - let me give you a foot rub."

[Sn0man]

If the guy is that sore, a foot rub aint going to change anything...but I hear what you're saying for sure.

[sisterlynch]

I didn't realize how rude I was, it is so good that people say what they mean on line....

 

 

[Sn0man]

Thats what were here for!

[sisterlynch]

Is there any kind of lotion that he can use? He isn't big on that kind of thing, using lotions and all, is it better just to give it time....I guess it is .

[annie24]

Lotion? For what? I think that he just needs time to heal. In the future though, I recommend Astroglide or KY Jelly for your love-making. It might help prevent sores.

[sisterlynch]

Maybe I didn't make the point clearly that his skin on his area is sore. It may have to do with spending long hours driving in the car, as well as not having sex regularly. When we do have it, he complains that it is sore. We use all that jelly and everything.

 

 

[annie24]

Ok - maybe because I don't have one, but I didn't know a man's penis gets sore during driving. Really? Guys - is this right?

[avman]

but I didn't know a man's penis gets sore during driving

 

Maybe I'm just doing it wrong but most of us use our arms and legs when we drive. I can't imagine what he'd be doing that would make his penis sore. Is he sitting on it????

[sisterlynch]

But doesn't it get crushed or tired just from being in the car too much?

 

Maybe I am making excuses for him, maybe he is just getting old all of a sudden, is that more like it?

 

You 2 aren't making fun of me, R U??

 

Here is another quest, maybe this is for the women, I kind of thought that all the guys were gone from this thread, any how, so hide your eyes if this is offensive 2 U.

 

Is it possible to use Nair down there?? I had a doc tell me to use that to remove the unwanted hair, but i haven't looked into it too far, so to speak.

 

Here is another ? that I have that is more of a social nature, and not quite so sexual, is that all right??

 

It is something that I was curious about, it is sort of like a timing thing, that I am not so good at. Time seems to go by much more slowly for me than for others appearantly.

 

Since you all seem to be good listeners, maybe I will get to my point:

 

The type of business that my husband is in, has to do with nepotism, they look to train other people to do it, it is a part of the real estate workings--they look for people that they know, because it is an apprenticeship...there is a guy that I know that is about to graduate from college, and my husband may be looking for another coworker to train, since the people that he is working with now, are going slowly -- I think it is time for them to get in a new person, and I want to recommend someone. I have never specifically asked the other guy if he is interested in this type of work. I have mentioned this guy to my husband in the past, but it wasn't the right time, he wasn't looking for another person at the time, that I used to talk about this one guy to him before.

 

Would it be wrong to give my husband's card to this guy, and tell him how to approach the situation, and how to get taken seriously, etc.

 

I am afraid to mention the other guy to my husband, because I dont want him to get mad, and then the answer is definitely no.

 

Maybe I am thinking about it too much, but if people ask the new guy how he knows my husband, and he says through his wife, would that seem tacky?

[annie24]

Aaack! Too many questions! I think you should repost some of them as new topics.

 

I'm not making fun of you. I'm just genuniely curious, as I don't have a penis, if driving can hurt it. Does he wear too-tight underwear or too-tight jeans that don't fit right? It's just something I've never heard of before. Is that what he says "My penis hurts from driving?"

 

Yes, you can remove that hair with Nair, but I prefer waxing.

[RainaBabe]

If someone went into a rage with me about ANYTHING I'd be less inclined to give it to them. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex in a few months due to some issues with him, and I don't complain. We do other things, enjoy our time together, and love each other.

[Sn0man]

I've never heard of anyone getting a sore penis from driving. It's not like we sit on it or crush it by driving or sitting or anything

 

Perhaps I don't fully understand the nature of your husbands problem. I thought you said sore from having too much sex, or maybe he had a cut or something. Maybe you could give a few more details so we can better help?

[Beec]

From driving? Never heard of it. Maybe from something like mountain biking, took a bad landing. But not soreness on the skin. That would be soreness feeling like a bruise. On the otherhand, anything too long might lead to chafing on the thighs.