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Is this my fault? Dumped suddenly really need advice


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I've been seeing this guy for 2 months. He asked me to be his girlfriend 4 days ago after telling me he's falling for me and is in love with me. We were going to make it official this weekend as we had a hotel booked for a night so it seemed the romantic thing to do, although he wanted to make it official already and put it on Facebook.


But last night we had a fight because he wanted a snapchat/picture of me without makeup on. (I sent him one before so yes he has seen me without makeup just not in person). I told him I was too tired I had a long day and I dont feel him comfortable seeing me right now without makeup because I didn't look the best. He proceeded to tell me "he's not being with someone that won't show me their face without makeup we're not 12 years old" "when I see you without makeup I'll be with you". I then said are you actually breaking up with me because I won't send you a picture tonight and he said "well I don't know what you look like, I'm not dealing with this we are both adults this is ridiculous". He said I was being stupid.


Just to let everyone know I have sent him a picture of me without makeup before just not in person yet because we haven't slept together but this weekend he would have seen me without makeup in the hotel. It would of been our first night together.


The last conversation we had that night he was telling me he's still crazy about me and still loves me but he has a lot going on and he's taking it out on me which isn't fair to me and I'm better off without him. He told me he's not a nice person and doesn't want to upset me, he forgets about all the bad stuff in his life when he's with me and as soon as he's not he's in a bad mood and unhappy. He basically gets moody a lot and takes it out on me. I know he's unhappy in his job but he never said any of this to me before.


I'm devastated. I really thought he was different and I thought we would have been a great couple. When I was with him he was loving, caring and romantic. He said he has wanted me since the first time he saw me and he couldn't believe it was happening. He used to see me around the town we live in but was too scared to talk to me. He always complimented me called me extremely good looking, he was intimidated by me at the start. He said countless times he wants to be with me and make this work long term, he'd never break up with me, I'm the best thing in his life wouldn't let me go that easily. He was the one who pursued me intensely and said I love you first and asked me to be his girlfriend first.


How could he could go from all that love to just dropping me like a hot potato. I feel lead on and like everything he told me was a lie. I feel like it's all my fault, if I just gave him the picture when he asked none of this would have happened. The hotel is still booked for this weekend.


I'd appreciate any viewpoints on this. I'm so confused. If he texts me to apologise what should I do? Should I still go on the weekend away with him?

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I know you're feeling devastated but from where I'm standing... You really dodged a bullet. What if you had slept with him? Can you imagine how he'd react if you ever got pregnant?


Love is not what you say. It's what you do. If he can dump you so easily over something so small, this isn't love. He can drop you like a hot potato because being in control and punishing you for not doing what he wants is more important than you in his heart.


You didn't do anything wrong. If you gave into him this time, he'd be just as likely to dump you the next time you hesitate or refuse to do something he's pressuring you to do.


Do yourself a favor. Don't let him back into your life unless he acknowledges that he was wrong, sincerely apologizes, and is able to tell you how he should have treated you in the first place. Without these things, he's likely to keep breaking your heart.

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Nope. Nope, nope, nope. What you is you kick his sorry butt to the curb if/when he contacts you again.


He tried to punish you when he didn't get what he wanted, he essentially called you stupid (someone telling me I'm acting/being stupid is as good as calling me stupid-especially if it's from a new love interest that hasn't known me for that long & especially if I'm exercising a different viewpoint from them). He also uses you as an emotional punching bag when he's stressed or upset about other areas in his life. At two months imo, he lovebombed you with "I love yous" "I'll never break up with you" etc and that's a big yellow flag for me to proceed with caution. Another yellow flag is that he mentioned that he's only happy when he's with you-that to me sounds like he's tied all his happiness to a person rather than being well rounded with hobbies and friends and therefore ready for a relationship.


He tried to use manipulation to get what he wanted and all of this was over a no makeup photo? Heck no, you deserve so much better than that. I know it hurts, but you have dodged a serious bullet. Anyone that's willing to make your relationship with them the ultimatum over something trivial like that doesn't deserve you at all.

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Man I would run not walk away from that dude. If he acts like that over something so stupid I wonder what he would do to you over something more serious. He sounds controlling and that could lead to physical abuse. Your best bet it to forget this man exist and move on!!

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OP, this guy has a red flag waving from the top of his head. Do not attempt to re-approach!


There is something really not right about him. Diving into a relationship with grand declarations (I'll never leave you! I love you!) at just 2 months is a major warning sign. Mature, emotionally-healthy individuals with sound judgment don't behave that way. They take their time getting to know someone and don't rush head-first. Take this as your cue that he is unstable and impulsive.


You're still getting to know him and he just revealed a very ugly side to himself. My ex was like this. It gets worse. Much worse. Don't go back for more, as I can practically guarantee you that you will get hurt again and again. Take it from someone who saw similar warning signs and chose to justify them to herself and proceed anyway - I'm still healing from the wounds that one left behind.

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He basically gets moody a lot and takes it out on me.
After only two months of dating you are lucky that he has shown you who he really is. If during the honeymoon period he is taking his s*** out on you, then it will only get worse once the rose coloured glasses come off.


Don't be "devastated" instead be glad you're rid of him.


Block him on all fronts so that he can't keep you mired in his miserable, moody existence.


if I just gave him the picture when he asked none of this would have happened.
Do not regret not giving someone something that you feel uncomfortable giving. A decent man would have not pressured you to give him something. He would NEVER want to make you feel uncomfortable or pressured but rather be grateful and charmed when you gave it to him willingly because you wanted to, you trusted him and he has shown you value. This guy was all words with zero actions to back up his premature musings of love.


Do not ever give up your self and what are your own morals or convictions for someone else... doing that is a sure way to lose yourself to another in a codependent and dysfunctional manner.

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