Girl I am dating said Grandad died

[gingerChris]

Hi all

 

Just to give you some background information first: I have been dating a girl since the beginning on May, been on several dates and she has stayed over at my house a couple of times. On the 5th of June she moved 160 miles away, due to work for 10 months. We decided to give the long distance thing a try and see how it goes (We both have cars). We continued to text a lot and spoke on the phone for at least 30 minutes almost every night.

Last weekend we had plans for me to drive to see her and stay in a hotel (I booked the hotel). It was mostly her idea and she seemed excited, looking for things for us to do etc. We didn't speak last Thursday though because she went out with her house mate for the evening. We also had plans for her to visit me for my birthday weekend this weekend.

 

However last weekend just as I was setting off to visit her I received a text from her cancelling because her Grandad had just died. I replied telling her not to worry about it etc and then she replied thanking me for being understanding. After that she has been no longer replying to any of my messages. I sent her a couple asking if she is alright and one today asking if she is still coming to visit this weekend (I asked in a sensitive way). The messages have been read (WhatApp) but she has not replied since last Friday.

 

Do you think she just needs a bit of time and is too busy grieving to deal with me? Or could it just be something she has made up to ditch me?

[abitbroken]

If her grandpa just died, plans should have been cancelled for the time being. It was a great loss for the family when my grandfather died. The funeral did not happen that very day. If she texted you friday, the funeral could have been anytime this week or longer and she is doing what she should be doing - spending time with family. She probably is hosting out of town guests - you never know.

 

I don't think there is a "sensitive" way to ask if plans are still on. Just give her space.

[SoulTaker]

I sent her a couple asking if she is alright and one today asking if she is still coming to visit this weekend Do you think she just needs a bit of time and is too busy grieving to deal with me? Or could it just be something she has made up to ditch me?

 

You need to settle down, and eliminate the wild thoughts going through your head. You're not sending her the right type of messaging. Of course, she needs time to grieve. Asking if she's still coming to visit, comes across as selfish and uncaring.

 

If you feel close enough to her, then you might ask about the funeral arrangements, or ask about sending your condolences (flowers). If not, then give her the space she needs.

[Capttrae]

Her grandfather just died, give her all the time and space she needs, be there if she needs to talk, cuss, scream, cry whatever. She experiencing some serious emotional roller coasters right now.

[melancholy123]

Grandpa died just last weekend and today is Thursday. Good chance the funeral was yesterday or today. You are incredibly selfish pestering her at this time. You need to give her all the time she wants and needs to deal with the loss of her grandfather. Slow yourself down and develop some patience.

[limichelle]

After my grandpa died. I stayed in bed for two weeks avoiding my boyfriend at the time and his phone calls. I was in such despair that I couldn't think about anything else.

 

Please give this girl time to grieve and not take her reaching out personally.

 

Lisa

[Towergreg]

She said her grandad died, i sense a little disbelief on your side, have you ever met him? You can look obituaries up online if you know the city he lived in, even if you know his name, She could be lying and trying to blow you off, if i was you, i would try and look it up and put my mind at ease.

[Cope]

She said her grandad died, i sense a little disbelief on your side, have you ever met him? You can look obituaries up online if you know the city he lived in, even if you know his name, She could be lying and trying to blow you off, if i was you, i would try and look it up and put my mind at ease.

 

Oh Lord no don't do this! This will only feed your anxiety/suspicions even more. Show trust in her, if she said he died, he died. Aim for the relationship you want.

[abitbroken]

She said her grandad died, i sense a little disbelief on your side, have you ever met him? You can look obituaries up online if you know the city he lived in, even if you know his name, She could be lying and trying to blow you off, if i was you, i would try and look it up and put my mind at ease.

 

And her last name could be her mother's maiden name that he has not known her long enough to know, etc. Don't go down that wormhole