Domino2012 Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Hi, I think I found the person I would like to spend my life with. We met 4 months ago and he is absolutely crazy about me as i am about him. The relationship was going really well and when we r together, we do awesome stuff and we feel great. However couple of months ago we started bickering about little things and I have been feeling really insecure and doubtful at times. It makes me desperate and needy. I don't recognise myself, i am usually really confident and positive person. I think it is all down to the fact i lack sense of self worth but i don not understand why, and where it came from. Yesterday I hit rock bottom. He told me we won't be able to see each other cause he has to work late and for some reason my gut was saying 'He's lying because he doesn't want to spend time with you and he just wants to be on his own but is scared to tell you that' This created doubt in my mind and I decided that the reasonable thing would be to pop up to his house and check if he's there or he's really working. So I set on my way with a massive ball in my stomach. And when I got there he was at home cooking dinner. I was startled and when i challenged that he'd lied to me, he said he hasn't and his job got cancelled last minute (and due to the nature of his job it makes sense) and i believe him, he said he didn't lie to me because he wants to spend time with me but becase it happened last minute, he didn't want to disrupt my plans. At that moment i felt so ashamed of myself. I hit rock bottom and looked like a fool, checking up on my bf. i have never done that before. I don't want to be so insecure because he never gave me reason to. I just feel i am not worthy of being loved nad I constantly think he just wouldn't want to spend time with me. If I continue feeling like that I would go mad. I'm not sure how to root out those insecurities and how to be happier. I feel completely lost and scared because if I continue like that I would loose the person i love. Can you please advise or share how you overcame experience like that. Link to comment
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