How do you afford it?

[Geobronc]

I am thinking about a Divorce. We have tried for years to make it work, but we are so different from each other. She has heard me say I want one, but counceling is not helping at all.

 

Before I see a Lawyer, I need some free advice if anyone can help.

 

We have a house with a second mortgage and hardly any or no equity and its in dis-repair. Needs new Paint, new carpet, and windows.

 

My wife would be willing to work I know and want custody of the kids or maybe I could have my Son and not Daughter.

 

My kids are 12 and 14. How much money would I pay for support and would I pay any alamony?

 

How would we begin to try and sell the house?

 

We barely get by now on my income due to the second mortgage and trying to pay off a car loan of $5,000 and Credit card of $2,000.

 

How do you make it all work?

[kskm]

Have you ever thought of debt consolidation? I have never had to do it, or know anyone that has actually done it but I think that you might want to check it out? I am just trying to think of possible solutions.

Why your son and not your daughter? I think she might be hurt if she finds out that that's how you feel??

Your best bet maybe not to sell the house but to have her keep the house- might be cheaper for her to take over the payments, or half. To start to sell it, you could be a FSBO- For sale by owner, listing in the MLS or in Newspapers. Also word of mouth is great free advertisement.

Divorces are not cheap, but do not let that keep you from happiness, there are ways around everything. Make sure you are fair.

If I can think of anything else I will let you know. Sorry if this is no help to you

[Geobronc]

My daughter hates me for the reason why my son and not her.

I have never abused them, she just sides with her mom a lot.

 

We took a bankruptcy about 3 years ago, not sure if any way for debt consolidation.

 

She could not get a job that would pay more then minimal wage i think.

She has never waitressed, but could. She has worked recently in a retirement home and made barely over minimal wage, so spitting the cost of the house would be hard to say the least.

[Jetta]

Is there a reason your wife isn't working? Can she take classes to develop some skills? They do have student loans. It really seems to me the financial stress is why you want to divorce.

 

Debt colsolidation is a good start, they have financial advisors who can work with your debtors to make payment arrangements. If you really want to sell the house you can do an an AS-IS sale, or list it as a fixer upper. Depending on how long you've owned the home you'd probably break even with that kind of sale. First see if an apartment is less expansive than your current mortgages are.

 

If you really want to divorce you can do it yourself. I found this on-line, and it's a lot cheaper than an attorney. link removed As far as childsupport in my state it would be 35% of your net income for 2 children, 25% for 1 child.

[justsweetgirl]

Maybe I am too traditional, but I wouldn't separate the kids. Do you really think you have a chance at repairing your damaged relationship with your daughter by only asking for your son?

[kskm]

I second that. I think that you will regret that decision later. I think the kids should be together- you don't want them to start not liking each other because of the parents differences.

[happyphantom]

Geo,

 

I hate to give you more to worry about, but you might end up paying spousal support to (if she hasn't worked or is only qualified for minimum wage)

[avman]

Unfortunately every situation is different. Family courts have a great deal of latitude in what they award for spousal maintenance (alimony). Child support is usually spelled out with specific guidelines based on your income and how much time the children spend with each parent.

 

Most times its best to try and work out as many details with your spouse as possible. Many courts will even order a mediation to try and work things out in a less confrontational manner. Not to mention this saves a ton of money in legal fees if you can both come to an agreement. It won't be easy, but hopefully the two of you can come to an arrangement you can both live with.

[shes2smart]

It's clear you have some serious financial problems before you put the divorce into the mix.

 

Don't make the same mistake my husband did when he divorced his ex...he thought he could save some money by NOT having his own lawyer. Big, big mistake. His ex got a lawyer through legal aid and he got screwed over six ways to Sunday. Why he didn't go the same route and go through legal aid, I don't know. He was trying to be a "nice guy" and "do the right thing" and he just got run over by his ex and her lawyer.

 

There are a few similarities to his situation in yours in that there were underlying financial issues, children and a fairly recent bankruptcy. They got divorced because he walked in on her and the guy she was cheating on him with. (Yeah, she's a real piece o'work)

 

Anyway, that was 4 years ago. He's just now getting to a point where his financial situation is easing up and his credit isn't totally shot. It would've taken him A LOT longer to be where he is if I hadn't entered the picture. I was single, I lived very frugally and had a good amount of my own money saved. We spent several thousand dollars of my savings cleaning up the mess from his divorce....all because he didn't get a lawyer.

 

Here's a small sliver of what happened because he didn't have a lawyer: at the time of the divorce he was making $8.50/hour....because she wasn't working the court decreed she should get a squeak over $400/mo in spousal support for 4 years and an additional $400/mo child support until the youngest turns 18. $8.50/hour comes up to a little over $1400/mo....BEFORE taxes.

 

Get a lawyer whose ONLY job will be to represent YOUR interests.