Is this typical when healing?

[D1mps]

Hello everybody,

 

I've been in therapy after an abusive relationship for a few months now, with low contact since Feb and zero contact for over a month now.

I'm making strides in terms of therapy progress, but I seem to be "cocooning" quite frequently.

 

I am enjoying my own company far more then I wish to go out and mix with friends, or simply be around other people in general.

It's almost like I am trying to recoup some lost energy?

Even the slightest situation, will undoubtedly zap my resources.

This is alien to me as I am used to being the support system for most of the people around me, but I just can't find myself to stand in that role at the moment and I feel guilty for it.

 

Has anybody else experienced the same issue after breaking the abuse cycle?

 

I'd love some insight and Thank you in advance for any response.

[WombatShadow]

You may be an introvert, which means you recharge your energy primarily by being alone. Sometimes introverts don't need to be alone to recharge (just like sometimes extroverts don't need to be with crowds), but you've suffered some serious trauma. This means that you need to be alone for a while to recharge completely, and that's fine.

 

I've also felt guilty when I'm overwhelmed by whatever situation and can't stand to be the support system at the moment, but you have to put yourself first sometimes. If you enjoy that support role, think of it like this: you can't be everyone else's support when your own foundation is shaky, so you have to work on yourself before you can be there for others. Eventually you will be more solid on your own feet than you are now, and from there you can slowly start working your way out of your cocoon.

 

Good luck, and I'm sorry you're struggling right now.

[LaHermes]

D1.

 

It heartens me to read this

 

I am enjoying my own company far more And believe me you are your own best friend.

 

Of course you need these alone times to recoup, and get back to yourself.

Be selfish for a while. Yes! It's a great idea.

 

Because you are enjoying your own company for a while does NOT make you an "introvert".

[WombatShadow]

D1.

 

It heartens me to read this

 

I am enjoying my own company far more And believe me you are your own best friend.

 

Of course you need these alone times to recoup, and get back to yourself.

Be selfish for a while. Yes! It's a great idea.

 

Because you are enjoying your own company for a while does NOT make you an "introvert".

 

She literally said that she needs to recharge and that being around people is draining right now. Being introverted is not a bad thing, and it doesn't mean you're shy or antisocial. Some of the most outgoing people I know are introverts, meaning that they just need some alone time to get back their energy.

 

But yes, OP, you aren't necessarily an introvert...it's merely one possibility I was presenting as an explanation, and it seems to fit.

[D1mps]

Thanks for the feedback.

 

I was starting to worry I was closing myself off, but what you both said makes far more sense.

 

LaHermes, I genuinely am enjoying being alone.

I don't know if it's because I'm just not ready to face the world yet, or what it is. All I know is I am enjoying being with Me, my daughter, my music, books, pets, art etc.

Friends are concerned I've dropped off the radar, but I'm wondering if it's for the right reasons.

After being in the relationship I was, I am questioning people's intentions a lot! And frequently feel like people miss their free therapist, rather than me as a person and their friend.

I guess I'm reevaluating a lot since I started therapy.

 

WombatShadow, I am actually reading a book about introverts at the moment called "Quiet Power" by Susan Cain and although I can relate to some intro qualities, I feel I'm more of a mix.

I used to be very social, but I think age and this past relationship experience, has quieted me somewhat.

I still love going to concerts, festivals, museum and theatre etc though.

 

In general I think I'm cocooning because I'm changing.

I'm not sure if I should be fearful or excited about that prospect and what the outcome will be. My ex did a lot of damage.

 

Thank you both very much for your thoughts.

Appreciated as always.

[LaHermes]

I absolutely love having alone time, always have. I could actually go for several days without speaking to another human lol. I equally enjoy being with people, and get great mileage out of gettogethers.

 

But, I am no introvert. "Introvert" and "extrovert" seem to have become buzz words. So, running with that, I suppose I'd qualify as 85% extro and 15% intro.

 

In the aftermath of any kind of trauma and damaging situation I feel it is good to be alone and charge up the batteries.

All I am saying is ....well, avoid being a recluse. That can happen all too easily.