Was rejected , 5 months later we meet, will date?? need help

[eddie500]

OK, I need some ideas, reasons, etc.

[happyphantom]

I would just take it a little slower with her. Seems like she is into you, but isn't necessarily ready to jump into bed. Have fun and be respectful of her, till you see signals from her that its OK to move it to the next level.

[Cecelius]

I can only say what I think based on sterotypes, but a LOT of people say that American women are a little more "advanced" than many. I have no clue whether this applies in all cases. Certainly it does in this one.

 

She honestly may never have had anyone kiss her on a second date, and you probably did not establish enough rapport with her to get her to want it.

 

After two dates, I can't really say whether she has romantic interest long term (or maybe long term is exactly what she wants). So I'd take her out, poke fun at her (like, pass her the butter, but pull it back and say "Maybe Hungarian girls don't take butter on the first date") and see where it goes.

[annie24]

Hey - I understand your confusion. I'm in the US and I was talking to my male austrian friend. He told me that in Austria, couples tend to wait for a while to kiss, but once the kissing starts, the sex comes soon afterwards. But, I know here in the US, the kissing can happen very early, but getting to the sex can take quite a while. He said to me, "Yes, once you kiss a girl, you know that you will be in bed with her shortly." I said, "Not in the US - you can kiss, but that doesn't mean things will go further than that."

 

I don't know if this holds true for your girl. This could be entirely wrong. It's just a conversation that me and my friend had.

 

Hope this helps!!

[chai714]

Her being European has nothing to do with kissing her on the date #x. I see this as a great opportunity for you to read her body language. It's not so much important where you kiss her, but I would think that an ideal first kiss should take place when you two are alone somewhere. It's a bit too early to do any PDA's.

 

As a general rule of thumb, a first kiss doesn't have to necessarily involve the tongue. It can be a peck, and turns into more, but not vice versa. End your date with a hug, look her in the eyes, and if she responds, go in slowly. With a little bit of patience and learning how to better read body language, you'll know whether or not you can kiss her before you even try.

[DN]

A mistake common among North Americans is to talk about Europeans as if they are one mass of people. The culture varies from area to area and country to country. Think of the ethnic differences among people in North America of European background. Europe includes Spain to Norway, France to Russia, Italy to Germany, Greece to England. Different countries, races, cultures, political history ... the list goes on. Half of Europe spent generations under communism - the other half as capitalists. Now add to the mix, individual preferences, upbringing and education and you will see that talking about 'Europeans' as one homogeneous people is like saying all people in North America - which includes Mexico and Canada, numerous ethnic backgrounds and native Americans.

[eddie500]

1) Do you think that she would want to go on other dates if she had no interest, knowing that she had already rejected me?

I doubt she would do this becuase she must know what it will lead to and my intentions.

 

Another thing is during our second date she asked me if I had any other "prospects" or other people I'm seeing.

I answered, which may be stupid. "maybe" me thinking that she was my prospect.. but I can see how she must of thought I had another girlfriend.

2) Do you think this could of played into her rejecting me?

 

3) Would a girl with no interest in romance ask a question like this?

 

if someone can give me advice on these 3 questions.

[Beec]

I dated a Hungarian woman a few years ago. One our first date, I kissed her in a public place (Grand Central Terminal near the ramp to the lower level) . She complained and made a sarcastic comment about us getting naked and making love right there. I said let's go, jokingly. On our next date, she grabbed me and kissed me in a public place. So, I don't think you have a cultural problem.

 

Chai's recommendation is right on. Read her body langauge and you'll know when to make a move.

[annie24]

A mistake common among North Americans is to talk about Europeans as if they are one mass of people. The culture varies from area to area and country to country. Think of the ethnic differences among people in North America of European background. Europe includes Spain to Norway, France to Russia, Italy to Germany, Greece to England. Different countries, races, cultures, political history ... the list goes on. Half of Europe spent generations under communism - the other half as capitalists. Now add to the mix, individual preferences, upbringing and education and you will see that talking about 'Europeans' as one homogeneous people is like saying all people in North America - which includes Mexico and Canada, numerous ethnic backgrounds and native Americans.

 

well, geezzz.. I know that! I'm just recounting one conversation that I had with one friend. Just a perspective that may shed light on his situation. Because she seems all excited about this date (5 months after their initial dates), it sounds like she was never angry or turned off by him, so it just could have been that she didn't feel comfortable kissing him on the 2nd date, for whatever reason.

 

But, I do agree - this time when you go out, see what her body language is like - if she is responsive to you. good luck!!!

[DN]

Hey Annie, I was responding to the original post!!

 

Do european girls do things differently than us Americans when it comes to first moves?

[apollocreed71]

Just a wild guess, but a bar is not a great place for a first kiss. Talk with her, and learn about her culture and how she was raised. Add this with a little body language, and then you will be able to determine when to kiss her. Sounds like she likes you. Good luck.

[SimoneTiger]

I happen to be a European girl (in the US to attend college), and I happen to come from a country very close to Hungary. No, we are not that different from other women, and still I cannot generalize...

 

But I will tell you about my situation with my American fiance: it took a month of almost daily dating (exclusive) before I kissed him. And I would not consider myself a prude ;-)

 

My fiance now admits that this drove him crazy and that no girl he had dated to this point was so reluctant when it comes to intimacy. Maybe it does have something to do with me being European... After all, we don't even have a concept for "dating"--if you are going out with someone, you are going out with them, and even calling somebody else for the purpose of hooking up would be considered two-timing and totally unacceptabe where I come from. I guess that is why we are so cautios on this side of the Atlantic?!

 

In my European opinion, waiting for an established relationship before partaking in any intimacy builds a much better foundation for commitment than rushing into it with someone you barely even know.

[eddie500]

In my European opinion, waiting for an established relationship before partaking in any intimacy builds a much better foundation for commitment than rushing into it with someone you barely even know.

 

I totally agree with you and learned a lot since this last approach. The current girl I'm seeing now, who is from a eastern european country (I'm in europe right now at the university). I took my time.. and it flowed natural into the first move.

So I'll just have to really take my time.. And I can becuase I have another girl I am seeing.