Is It Right To Call Me A Virgin Or No?

[feministdude]

I had full, extended p-in-v sex to climax at least 2 dozen times with one of my first girlfiends before finally taking her "virginity." Of course, I didn't learn until our 3rd or 4th time that she was still a virgin. Imagine my surprise! People use the term pretty loosely these days, which is fine, because it really isn't important.

[mustlovedogs]

^ I don't get this

[feministdude]

^ I don't get this

She was Catholic. There was guilt. She spoke of "saving herself" for her future husband. Being a virgin was part of her identity and it took a while for her to let all that go. When I finally "took her virginity" there was ceremony, and candles and such, though I'm pretty sure there were other guys before me.

 

This isn't surprising.

 

When I was a younger man, she was not the only girl I fooled around (including some p-v intercourse) who remained "virgins" afterwords. She was just the most preposterous example. More than one explained that we didn't have sex (after we did) because they were "saving themselves" as a gift to their future husbands. I just got a peak at the gift!

 

I even once took the virginity of a 28-year-old Catholic "virgin" who simultaneously bragged about the rather large number of partners she had done everything but the one official deed with. And "just the tip" doesn't count! She, too, had been "saving herself" for that one special man.

 

Same as it ever was... even prudish Victorians joked about the "epidemic of horseback riding accidents" among virgin wives.

 

Edited to add: young people are getting over this silliness these days, and no longer buy into the idea of exaggerated importance and "purity" that comes with "virginity," and that's a good thing.

[LaHermes]

Indeed, FD.

 

And I think people in general are getting over this silliness nowadays, thank goodness. It borders on plain insanity. I am not surprised at what you relate in your post.

I had my secondary education in an Irish Catholic convent boarding school and I could fill two books with the crazy stuff we were told there. But people wouldn't believe it......

[Whocares479]

At the end of the day, it only matters what YOU think you are.

[Rezie]

I personally think that with heterosexual penertative (anal or vaginal) sex is the same as losing virginity.

 

With homosexuals I would add hand and oral when defining penertative sex. And by hand i mean the partner gave a hand job.

 

Personally I think masturbating while making out or dry humping is not losing virginity. As for the religious aspect. If you decide to wait till marriage then anal, oral or hand job is not waiting till marriage. That's sex, maybe still officially a virgin but still questionable. If you have a personal ethical guidelines then why bending the made up rules? But then again I dorm understand the rules.

 

I know my logic makes no sense but oh well. In the end virginity is defined differently by different people. You can decide if you consider yourself a virgin or not. I would say you are a virgin but my opinion doesnt matter.

 

Also, there is no need to go to a hooker because of virginity. It will happen when the time is right.

[abitbroken]

I personally think that with heterosexual penertative (anal or vaginal) sex is the same as losing virginity.

 

With homosexuals I would add hand and oral when defining penertative sex. And by hand i mean the partner gave a hand job.

 

Personally I think masturbating while making out or dry humping is not losing virginity. As for the religious aspect. If you decide to wait till marriage then anal, oral or hand job is not waiting till marriage. That's sex, maybe still officially a virgin but still questionable. If you have a personal ethical guidelines then why bending the made up rules? But then again I dorm understand the rules.

 

I know my logic makes no sense but oh well. In the end virginity is defined differently by different people. You can decide if you consider yourself a virgin or not. I would say you are a virgin but my opinion doesnt matter.

 

Also, there is no need to go to a hooker because of virginity. It will happen when the time is right.

 

If someone said, "Have you ever had sex" the answer should be "YES"

 

If they are getting technical and talking specifically about penetration - then he can say that he did not penetrate. But he CANNOT say he has never had sex. That would be a lie.

[Rezie]

If someone said, "Have you ever had sex" the answer should be "YES"

 

If they are getting technical and talking specifically about penetration - then he can say that he did not penetrate. But he CANNOT say he has never had sex. That would be a lie.

 

In this case I wouldn't say they had sex. He masturbated while making out and she touched his penis a few times so in my personal opinion it wasn't a hand job. I also don't count dry humping as sex. I put it in the same cathegory as grinding while dancing, not sex. If they had oral then maybe. I would maybe then specifically say "oral sex" instead of sex. But this is just my personal definition. I wouldn't call it sex. It doesn't mean that others can't call it sex.

[boxingguy]

Virgin.

 

Next question.

[IAmFCA]

"Have you been sexual, engaged in sexual activity?"

"Yes."

"Have you had sex?"

"No."

 

= virgin (whatever the point is of this label, i've no idea.)

[Jibralta]

= virgin (whatever the point is of this label, i've no idea.)

 

You know, I think it's a relic from when marriages were more like business arrangements and women were married off with dowries and all that. The husband's family didn't want "used goods." Because it's pretty irrelevant, otherwise. There's so much more to sex than intercourse.

 

Although perhaps with respect to p-in-v intercourse it is somewhat meaningful because of pregnancy. I know that I remained a virgin until I was about 20 because I was terrified of becoming pregnant.