Feeling abandoned. Is it worth it?

[dkid91]

I've been seeing this girl that I know through mutual friends. We've known of each other for quite some time but about 2 weeks ago, we (4 other friends of mine and her) went out for drinks. I had no idea that she was attracted to me but as the night progressed, I noticed many hints. Once we left the bar, we went to drop her off home. When he got to her place, she made a clear indication that she wanted me to stay the night with her. At first, I was hesitant but then I gave in eventually (liquid courage maybe? Lol). First, we talked a bit and I learned that she actually broke up with her boyfriend the PREVIOUS night. She mainly just wanted a one night stand from me and that would be it. Being that it was well after 3am and the sexual vibes were still there, we indeed had sex. It wasn't your typical, "help ease my pain" sexual encounter, though. This felt very passionate. Almost like we've known each other for years. The next morning, we parted ways. I really felt that I wasn't gonna hear from her since she already stated her intentions. She had to drive to go pick up her daughter in another state and I just slept in for the rest of the day.

 

Then...she called me that night. We talked about any and everything. The next day we talked 10 hours total. That next WEEK, we were spending ALOT of time together. Even discussing future plans, possibilities, etc.

 

As for this week leading up to today...not so much. She just started a new job and things are changing. I'm not relegated to just texts/calls. Even that is getting dry now. She's been claiming that she's busy and too "tired" to see me. Which I can understand. She's a single mother of a 2 year old and her job is quite demanding. We had a conversation tonight about it and she explained that she can't afford to make another mistake when it comes to choosing her next guy. According to her, the main thing that scares her is that I'm everything that her ex boyfriend wasn't. She thinks that I could be a little "too good to be true" and just wants to slow it down for right now. I asked her how often could we see each other through the week moving forward and I didn't get a clear answer. It was mainly, "If I'm not too tired, maybe you could come at night while my daughter is sleep". I really don't see that as true QUALITY time spent but I guess that's all I have right now. I understand that our schedules don't align perfectly. However, I do know that actually being around someone and spending time with them is a far different dynamic from just talking/texting on the phone. I really like her and after tonight, I feel like the feeling is mutual; she's just afraid. She clearly hasn't even come close to healing since her ex but that was something I was well aware of.

 

Should I move on or see where this goes? If I choose to continue with this, how should I handle things moving forward?

[Jeetsun]

The the vibe I'm getting from her was she used you for sex to rebound. She might have had an inkling to get together with you by discussing possibilities, but that faded with her cooling down and not hearing from her as much. The things she saying like you're too good to be true and maybe if I have time is bull**** excuses to keep you on a string in case she needs further validation and possibly sex later from you, hence the comment she made, maybe you can come over at night when my daughter is a sleep. You even stated that this isn't quality time spent, and it sure isn't. Listen to her verbiage, telling you that you're everything her ex isn't but is scared? That doesn't make sense, think about that. If my or anyone's ex had terrible flaws and someone I just met embodied better qualities, that would be worth pursuing. However, the nail in coffin in this whole scenario is she just broke up with an ex. You generally don't ever want to get into a relationship with anyone who's on the rebound if you are invested in having an actual relationship with this person, it's more often than not going to work out.

[dkid91]

That makes sense. So you think I should just back off completely?

[Jeetsun]

That makes sense. So you think I should just back off completely?

 

I would back off and wouldn't get involved with this woman for the reasons I mentioned above.