imfinna Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Will there be a clash? If I go will it be trouble? If I stay will it be double? I've been dating my roommate for the past few months. See following post for more reference: "Unexpectedly fell in love with my roommate and confused about us" But in short we are: -obviously living together and I've sorta moved into his room -exclusive to each other, meaning not sleeping or seeking relations with anyone else -love each other very much and have expressed things such as how we could see ourselves getting married to one another However we've come to a point where he's known for a couple months that I'm ready for a relationship. And I've basically been waiting for him to figure things out. The other day he basically broke up with me and said he's afraid of being in a relationship and feels like he'd have to modify his behavior (because I'm a jealous type) so that he doesn't upset me and thinks that this is going against who he is. He said he wanted things to go back to being cool with each other where we don't have any type of expectations of things. Meaning no more intimacy and me moving out of his room. I moved out of his room and we talked for hours on end and I ended up crying my eyes out and he cried his eyes out too. He asked if he could sleep in my bed with me then the next day we shared a bond that was unlike any other and it was the best couple days after, we were also back to being intimate and me sleeping in his B with him but didn't move back into his room. This was a few days ago and things have been great until last night he told me that he's realized he really isn't ready for a relationship. I asked why and he told me that it was because he wasn't ready to compromise his time and energy, I asked why again and he expressed it came from the root of selfishness. After this talk we were fine and even intimate. His actions don't align with his words. I don't understand why he gives me his all with the exception of solidifying our status as a relationship. He used to tell me something along the lines of... if it looks like a duck, acts like a duck and sounds like a duck...it is a duck. The duck meaning being in a relationship/boyfriend-girlfriend....because I was pressuring him about it before. Now I've found myself saying that and he's saying he's not ready. I'm not sure what the best thing to do here is. If you ready my other post, you'd have seen that I set a timer for September 1st to see what happens and then just move on from there if he's still not ready. I'm not sure if that would just be a waste of time now since I now know that he isn't ready. We are set on different paths and it's really confusing since his actions paint a different picture for me... which brings me to this quote that I recently stumbled upon by Ralph Waldo Emerson: "Your actions are so loud that I can't hear what you're saying" I'm afraid of what will come whether I stay or go...especially considering that we are roommates... Link to comment
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