Spa day

[j.man]

I never told my Hubby he the guy at the spa was hot. Why would I do that? I plan on going back.

Are you gonna ask for Robert again?

[anicole]

what was she assuming? there is no assumption there, just a commentary on what you said: that what you appreciated about the appointment was that the guy was a turn on. not that he got your knots out or did good "body polish", whatever that is. so unless hubs gave you a coupon for an erotic massage or something, of course he gets jealous that you're getting turned on at places outside the home, then promptly bait him with the male masseuse comment both before and after the appointment.

 

you've complained of his drinking, lack of affection and sexual gratification amply. if you are going to deal with it by compensating for that deficit elsewhere, it comes in the package with his negative reaction.

 

if you can't deal with the consequence, that leaves you with the option to suck it up and be unfulfilled in that aspect both in and outside the home, or the option to leave him and pursue whatever and whoever meets your needs better.

Thanks for your info

[anicole]

Are you gonna ask for Robert again?

Yes I am, I will schedule my body polish with him again.

[anicole]

what was she assuming? there is no assumption there, just a commentary on what you said: that what you appreciated about the appointment was that the guy was a turn on. not that he got your knots out or did good "body polish", whatever that is. so unless hubs gave you a coupon for an erotic massage or something, of course he gets jealous that you're getting turned on at places outside the home, then promptly bait him with the male masseuse comment both before and after the appointment.

 

you've complained of his drinking, lack of affection and sexual gratification amply. if you are going to deal with it by compensating for that deficit elsewhere, it comes in the package with his negative reaction.

 

if you can't deal with the consequence, that leaves you with the option to suck it up and be unfulfilled in that aspect both in and outside the home, or the option to leave him and pursue whatever and whoever meets your needs better.

A body polish is like a facial for the body.

[RainyCoast]

A body polish is like a facial for the body.

 

that sounds great. if you liked how it was done, that's something i would point out to the hubs if asked again how i liked my spa day. i'd suggest he test it out for himself how smooth your skin is. causally, fleetly, so it doesn't come off as an explicit call for sex which might feel like pressure to perform to him, and in turn make him perform even worse, and also become more jealous, suspicious and disconnected. the alcohol problem though isn't fixable this way of course. but at least it's a safer way to comment these kinds of things with him than by bringing up males.

[mcnugget]

I don't know your background or how you worded things with your husband. Everyone has different comfort levels. My significant other gave me a massage package for Valentine's Day. When I called to make an appointment; the appointment was booked before I was told the name of the masseuse. When I learned it would be a male masseuse I requested a female and moved my appointment to make that possible. When I told my significant other the story he said that he would have been OK with a male masseuse, but he was relieved that I avoided any mess by respectfully seeing a female masseuse on my own.

 

I don't think you both have valid points and feelings in this case. The best thing to do is just to apologize not necissarily for what you did, but for how it made him feel. You might not have done anything wrong, but if it made your husband uncomfortable then it isn't right for your relationship. Next time you go back request a female.

[Scoe141]

It's my inclination that you're using Robert to satisfy needs that aren't being met at home. It sounds like there is a bigger issue at hand.

 

Perhaps it's time you two discuss what those issues are.

[Jibralta]

Yes I am, I will schedule my body polish with him again.

 

I would, too!

 

I prefer a male masseuse. Good looks don't hurt, either.

 

My boyfriend doesn't see it as an attack on his masculinity, thank god!